Name: Bill Burr - Choosing Comfort Over Wearing A Mask
Uploaded: 2020-07-18T20:38:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Choosing Comfort Over Wearing A Mask' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Choosing Comfort Over Wearing A Mask' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-18. Transcript available.

there it is over cancel your dates for 2020 bill have you done any of that have
you canceled any
upcoming dates you're going to keep them on the schedule for as long as
possible i just leave them
and then when the venue says they're canceled i just go okay it's not it's not
my decision it's
the decision of the people that are are going to cure this shit you know or get
a test so everybody
can have a test i think eventually what's going to happen is they'll get a test
there'll be a
period where people go to work and everybody has on gloves and masks um which
will be a difficult
time because i what i'm finding in this is people are choosing their own
comfort in the moment versus
uh what's good for everybody in the long run like there's some people doing
construction on on the
block uh my block here and they fucking uh i saw two construction workers first
of all they were
finally wearing masks one of them had his mask down here around his neck the
other guy had his up on
top of his head and they're both sitting there talking to each other it's just
like yeah because
they're out of shape they're swinging a hammer they're getting uncomfortable so
they say fuck
everybody else yeah i'm out here working i'm getting a fucking paycheck so fuck
them dude i live in
bay ridge brooklyn which is like an old school fucking conservative brooklyn
neighborhood i saw one
in the supermarket outside the supermarket last week i saw a guy i fucking
tried to get a picture of it
but he walked away he had cut a hole in his mask and was smoking a cigarette
through the hole in the
mask like a fucking idiot and then i saw another guy in the supermarket wearing
a poly prep which
is the high school around here football helmet as his mask i'm like well how
fucking dumb are you
that you have a fucking man a football helmet on i took a picture of that i'll
send it i'll send it
to you now mike it's like new york is uh unfortunately because you guys are all
stacked up on each other
and you just have more of everything and that includes mouth breathing morons
so like
verzi showed me this thing where some nurse was going to work with all of her
scrubs on gloves and
had her mask down here driving so she was all right and then she fucking videoed
over to like park slope
the giant park and there's all these people biking and frisbeeing and just
acting like it's a giant
fucking holiday so i understand i i get young people doing that because i would
have been an idiot if i was
young and i would have done the same thing so same thing i but my parents would
have kicked the shit
out of me if i did it so that would have stopped me so once again it always
comes back to parenting
it's all it's all childhood issues isn't it it's well it's bad parenting like
those fucking kids that
went to spring break if i had tickets to go to spring break i would try and
figure out a fucking way to
go too because i would have been a young dumb idiot that would want to go down
there and drink a bunch
of beers and try to get laid right that's what you do at that age however the
fact that your parents
suck so bad that you'd actually go on camera and say i'm down here and if i get
it i get it i don't
give a fuck and bringing that level of shame to your family name like i wouldn't
i might be like my dad
would kick the shit out of me like i could never go home again and just the
fact that they had the
ones that went on camera had no fear of that is um you know that's the fly in
the ointment why i don't
think that this thing will necessarily burn itself out they're going to have to
get a test and a cure
because people can't people just don't have it they got three days in them
three days they can
stick to a diet three days they can go to a gym three days they can do the self
quarantine and then
it just all falls apart and then you know they're eating donuts and fucking you
know breathing on
people it's just it is every single day at 7 p.m in new york i don't know if
they're doing it by you
be honest but every single day in the apartment complex i'm in the people they've
been quarantining
and isolating all day and then they come outside at seven o'clock and start
clapping for the uh
emergency health care service so for all the medical staff and all that so it's
a nice thing
but everybody just starts talking within six feet you start talking to abra
high-fiving them going into
their houses drinking the kids are hugging so it's like you can't keep us away
from each other it's it's
it's too hard i don't blame that's everybody who's just like blaming trump like
he's fucking this whole
thing up it's just like all right it's it's also like i went into the grocery
store they literally
had an x painted on the floor you had the answer to the fucking test where do i
stand right here
people still lazily sort of on the x five and a half feet four feet away yeah i
have a mask on but not
really it's not just you know his fault it's like you know it's it's the whole
fucking team
there's too much there's too much you know if this was like a football team the
amount of people that
would be getting cut would be ridiculous would be fucking ridiculous so there's
also like a segment
of the population you know the don't tread on me people who've like been arming
themselves for this
moment for years saying you know as soon as the government tells us we can't do
something in mass
like that they're gonna go out there and protest so they're out there
protesting they don't give a
shit they got their their ar-15s around their waist and they're saying you know
you can't tell me what
to do so we're basically ungovernable as a country we've just been divided if
you saw my
country dude it's everywhere like that whole horse shit where they look at canada
michael moore and all
them and they presented like this fucking eden of white people up there they
did the exact they got
their country the same way this country with the only reason why they didn't
get into slavery it was
too god they didn't have a good farmland or some shit up there i made that up
but it sounded good
but it's they do it all right here here is a fact if you want to know about
racial issues in canada
talk to any person of color that tried to make it as a fucking hockey player
the fucking stories
they have you're like wait did you play in the 1950s no 2006 so i'm just saying
we have a lot of
faults in this country but every country does and i don't think every fault of
this country is worse
than other ones or is because of obama or trump or clinton or bush it's just it
is what it is no
form of government works because human beings are inherently flawed and there's
always people that
want to have a little bit more and they'll do something crooked or they're just
a fucking sociopath
or whatever i don't know if you don't think that when the smoke clears that you're
going to see that
this whole fucking virus was created by nancy pelosi and everyone on the ventilator
is a crisis actor
You got another thing coming.
So.