Name: Bill Burr - We Gotta Go Back To REPAIRING Things
Uploaded: 2020-07-27T11:10:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - We Gotta Go Back To REPAIRING Things' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - We Gotta Go Back To REPAIRING Things' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-07-27. Transcript available.

but I also look at it in life. Now everything is on here. Somebody told me in
10 years,
no TV is not going to matter because everything's going to be on here. And I'm
like, no, it's not.
And it is, and it is. It isn't dude. You still, if you're going to have it, you're
going to sit
there. What's better watching it on your TV or watching it on this fucking
thing. This is nice.
If you're sitting at a bus stop, but you're telling me that everybody's going
to have their
iPhone taped to their fucking wall. No. Yeah, no, I don't. I like the TV better,
dude.
I like the TV fucking better, but I think everybody's going to have it. TV is
just going to like TV and
the computer will, will become one, um, which, you know, they can already do,
but they got to make
40 versions of it. So everybody can keep up with the Joneses. That's one of the
smartest things I
ever did. When flat screen TVs first came out, all my dumb friends, you know,
when they were like,
thick as a phone book and they were like six grand, when they first came out,
they were like 13 grand.
When they came down to about four grand, all my dumb friends went out and
bought them. And then
they started giving me shit. You still, like Keith Robinson, Hey, you probably
still got one of them
square TVs, don't you? I go, yeah, I do. I do. I bought it like 10 years ago
and I'm going to watch
that. And as these flat screen TVs come down to like 700 bucks, then I'll buy
the thing and it's going to
be better than your $4,000 one. That's as thick as my fucking head. I called
that.
There you go, dude. I bought a fucking 40 inch flat screen the other day. It
was like 130 bucks.
What?
It was nothing. Yeah. They're nothing now. They're literally, they're so cheap
now.
Yeah. I just wish there was somebody that could like repair them and like, you
could just keep
them for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. At some point, I mean, there's so many things
that need to be
addressed, but the designed obsolescence combined with global warming, it's
something's got to give
here, man. We got to go back to repair, man. Dude, you know, when I was a kid,
dude, when you'd buy a TV,
first of all, it was like a thousand fucking pounds and they just had, there
was just a tube in the back
of it. As long as you didn't throw a brick through the screen, dude, every like
seven, eight years,
some old guy would come over with his blue Dickies outfit and he would just
replace the tube in the
back. And then you'd, you'd have it. And like people kept TVs 25, 30 years.
People don't even keep
them for 30 months anymore. Dude. When Stacy and I were dating, she lived in
Jersey city. I can't
believe she lived in this. She lived in a terrible neighborhood in Jersey city,
dude. And, uh, I was
like, your parents let you fucking live here. But she took the path train to
the city and I helped her
move. And we took me and my older brother took her TV bill. It took everything
we had to get this
thing down the stairs. It was, it was so ridiculously big and heavy. So when
you just said a thousand
pounds, it was like the fact that one of us didn't break our back or drop the
TV down the stairs is a
miracle. Well, the thing, yeah, those flat screen TVs, they're also huge, but
like the, uh, the ones I'm
talking about, dude, these things used to be made out of like, if you had money
and you bought a nice
TV, I mean, dude, the whole, the thing that the TV sat in was made out of like
mahogany. It was like
redwood tree or some shit. I mean, like it was a piece of furniture and it had
like, like, like some of
them that were really expensive. They had all these ornate designs, like wood
carved into it and shit.
This is the TV. And you bought this fucking thing and you just, you just had it
until like, I don't know
what, until the tube started to go. And then some guy would come by and he
would, he would fix the, uh, he would
fix the tube for you and you were good to go for like another, I don't know. I
forget how long it, it would
last.
Are you, uh, are you, cause we never talked about this on the road, maybe a
little bit, but you're
definitely more of an antique guy than, than I am. But are you like an antique
guy? Like, will you go
into an antique store? Is that shit interest you or no?
No, I hate the smell of those places. It's, it's fucking gross. And it's just,
you feel like
everything somebody died on or something was in a murder. So I, I am a, uh, I
am a pause the video game
guy. So like if, if technology, like right around 1995, I thought it was fine.
We could have stopped
there. The big square TVs, 27 inch TV was fine. I mean, now that you got the
giant flat screen TV, like
all this thing sucks, but that thing was fine to look at. It was, everything
was fine. Cars were fine. You
know, there's airbags and shit cured enough diseases. I think right, right
around 95, we just fucking
stopped with this insanity of, um, I mean, the fact that Apple, the way that
they, they have their
tablet and then they have their laptop and there's, there's no, like, you know,
it's like, you know,
that they have the technology to make the tablet do what the laptop does. But
if they did that,
then you won't do, so then they give you the tablet and there's nothing you can
fucking plug
into it. They just like to just sit, they just sit there. Yeah. As the earth is
starting to catch on
fire once a year. Right. And it's like, and the oceans are fucking rising and
all of this shit.
And they're sitting there trying to come up with ways to make more shit be
thrown into the fucking
ocean. They're just a fucking reprehensible company. And what kills me about it
is like,
once you go in, it's like the mob, you can't get out. Like I can't stand them.
And I just try to
hang onto their phones as long as I can, because I try to look at other people's
phones. It's like
white text and all of that shit. I'm just like, I mean, that's like, you're
speaking a different
language. I don't even know what it is. So I bought this. I'm a hypocrite.
Basically. I just got this
11 and the guy goes, Hey, just so you know, best battery on any of them out of
all of them,
it's the best battery. It's going to go longer. Like, yeah, well, it was a
thousand bucks. So,
you know, I'm expecting that it should be fucking more than anything. It's the
seven.
And it's not going to be worth shit in like 18 months. And then you're going to
turn it in and
then they're going to, you know, they're going to do a little fixie fixie on it.
And then they send
it to like a, uh, uh, whatever you're supposed to say, not a third world
country, a new world.
Is that what you're supposed to say? I'm gonna get in trouble here, Paul, a new
world country. And
then they're going to sell it to some poor kid there and fuck him over. They're
just going to
keep the fuck over going. So I am not an antique guy. I like old cars and shit
like that. That's why
I like old cars. There's a couple of things that I have. I have a, uh, one of
those Ronson, uh,
matchstick lighters. I went on this real Humphrey boat. I like old movies and
shit. So I saw Humphrey Bogart
lit this match. And, um, and I was like, what the fuck is that thing? So I got
one of those and I
found this guy in Michigan to repair it. I think it needs lighter fluid because
that hasn't been
working. You remember you were out here. I lit a cigar with it one time. You're
like, what the
fuck is that? Yeah. Yeah. That'll stick with some, uh, like, like there's some
little bit of flint.
And then there's this little wick thing that just rests in the, in the, in the
fluid.
I remember you pulled that out and you started doing that. And I was going, I
was like,
I never saw that before. That was why I was crazy. Yeah. And there's some
pretty, uh,
really creative ones of those. Like I remember my dad used to have a bank that
was a pitcher,
a catcher and a hitter. And you put the coin in and you'd wind back the hand
and it would throw it
and it would hit the catcher's chest protector and the chest protector would go
back like that.
And the coin would go down and then come and the guy would swing. It was really
wild.
Well, that's cool. You know, I mean, it's nothing compared to an iPhone though.
Um, so yeah,
I have an appreciation for, uh, like, you know, I like an old bar. I like old
houses. I like
shit like that. But as far as buying old shit that people had, I, it gets, it
creeps me out a little bit.