Name: Bill Burr - Neil deGrasse Tyson Is The Popstar of Astrophysics
Uploaded: 2020-11-04T15:14:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Neil deGrasse Tyson Is The Popstar of Astrophysics' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Neil deGrasse Tyson Is The Popstar of Astrophysics' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-11-04. Transcript available.

i know it just looks like propaganda you know what's weird is i've had this
urge to go back
to church i don't believe in any of it but i just want to go there i find it
there's something about
it but i can just block out what my religion did to children it's so fucking
you just that's what
kills me about going back but if you go back i just i i do get a a feeling it's
a wholesome
it takes me back to who i used to be i used to be a good guy joe i used to go
to church every
fucking week yeah i was an honest guy i wasn't as angry or whatever not saying
i'm like a dishonest
guy but i'm like a uh i don't know i just feel like all the drinking and and uh
i don't know i
just feel like a piece of shit sometimes you know like like what am i doing
like what is you know
sitting here smoking a cigar and drinking some scotch and watching a game i
just feel like i'm
living like this heathenistic lifestyle you know i feel you brother yeah and i'm
just like i i kind
of need somebody to kind of remind me of something bigger even if it's not
something the way they frame
it that i believe in it like uh i mean when you really the thing about the
thing that will actually
be what's weird will actually really make you believe in a higher power is the
little bit of science
on a higher level like when they start talking about the size of the universe
and how they think the
whole fucking thing came together i mean dude it's just like i mean it's fine
it's fucking mind
blowing what's interesting is is if you listen i started listening to uh neil
degrasse tyson who's
like that's the guy he tries to say we came from trees i'm like what is he
talking about in a
fucking hour watching this guy i was like god damn it i believe this guy he
doesn't know he's the pop
star of astrophysics it's like he does it in a way where you get it you know
you think other
scientists think he's a hack you think they i'm sure they dude i'm sure people
hate him my buddy
was a chef i said emerald lagasse to him once i thought he was going to throw
me through a
fucking window dude oh yeah no well emerald was the guy who inadvertent this
there's two shows
that that i saw that really just changed an entire network all right emerald
lagasse before he came
along that was just somebody said hey hi how you doing i'm chef so and so and
today i'm gonna make
this and this is how you make it was very juliet child sort of you know talking
to the camera uh
mario batali added the whole cooking for friends which i loved multi mario was
like my favorite
fucking show but he was the guy he added the live studio audience in the band
and he was the guy and
he did it because the people would be falling asleep because he'd be taking taping
a few shows a day he said
and he was the guy who he goes i'll put some sugar and he goes bam he's trying
to wake people up yeah
and that caught on fire and he ran with it god bless him and he made it made a
ton of fucking money
he's he was the biggest thing since juliet child well ever since then it became
personality driven
right like we need a whole network of people and you got to get your own
bam when you're making it and then it just then all of a sudden it became
competitions and like uh
the iron chef like i watched that show i'm just like what in the fuck is this
like you took yeah the
greatest thing ever great one of the great things you can do for somebody is is
make them a meal
and then they just fucking turned it into this stressful thing like okay joe uh
we're gonna give
you some ham and an old carton of eggs and i want you to try to figure out how
to make a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich right right right you got seven minutes to do it and
they added all of this
fucking stress to it yeah it's like cooking supposed to be relaxing the
beautiful fucking thing
so then the sports thing would be pti when tony kornheiser and uh uh was it
mike wilbo yeah when
they got together i know pti so they were like us they were like you could tell
these guys are friends
we argue with each other but you could tell it was legit and espn i think that
they like when people
yell at each other then they just threw people together who you could tell just
hadn't just like
yeah what's your name again jerry oh john john hey how are you and action hey
fuck you john the
49ers are gonna just completely change the thing so i wonder if neil degrasse tyson
um there's got
to be people who are just like hey man he's out the scientists like hey man he's
out there getting
his fucking money then other people are looking at him like he's a fucking
puppet act i mean dude it
on some level on some level it must burn it must have burned steven hawking up
a little bit
because steven hawking was a celebrity astrophysicist but he had that condition
where
he couldn't talk als yeah and he couldn't move and shit and there had to be a
part of him is that
why he was always sitting down yeah oh okay yeah yeah but you know just lazy
there had to be a part
of him that was like this motherfucker like this i this this was my gig you
know this professional
resentment like and he was a poonhound too hawking so he was just he was he
should have been yeah
i'm you know so that's another thing too that i'm getting really getting
fucking tired of these
fucking guys that go out and they try and bang as many women as fucking humanly
possible there's
just certain guys that are wired that way you know and then all these fucking
guys who just don't have
the opportunity to do it are now sitting there acting like they're these really
fucking great
decent goddamn people it's just like dude nobody's trying to fuck you you know
what i mean i mean i've
been guilty of that shit making fun of people like you know who do heroin and
stuff like why why you doing
fucking how many fucking things you need to see it's just i don't i didn't
understand addiction now i get
it dana gould did a really funny bit about steven honking like how he couldn't
he couldn't even talk
but he still figured out a way to cheat on his way yeah