Name: Bill Burr - Becoming A Father Made Me A Better Person
Uploaded: 2020-12-02T12:42:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Becoming A Father Made Me A Better Person' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Becoming A Father Made Me A Better Person' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2020-12-02. Transcript available.

You know, I'm so curious to talk to you about kids because my wife and I are
about to embark on the let's try to have kids.
And do you have two kids now or do you still have?
Yeah, two. I got a girl and a boy.
Because even just hearing what you were saying before about being in traffic
and your daughter said, why are you honking at that guy?
Which is basically like having a, you know, like a real existential, like a
conscience with you at all times.
We're going, oh, I don't understand. Can you explain this seemingly illogical
behavior?
How does that, how does that change you? How does that change your approach?
Obviously, you can't, you can't and shouldn't just be focused on yourself all
the time and your own idiosyncrasies.
You have to consider that there's a little life being formed next to you at all
times.
So how did that change and what was that new responsibility like when it
started?
Well, the great thing is, is my daughter is not afraid of me at all, which I
pride myself on because I didn't want to do, you know, there's a lot of old
school parenting that I believe in.
But the scary dad coming home, I don't, I don't, yeah, I don't want that.
And she keeps me in check where it's just like, I'll just be watching a game,
be like, I'll just be like this lot.
How can you call that? Come on, that wasn't offsides or whatever.
And then she'll be in the other room and be like, don't scream like that.
And then I just go, sorry, buddy.
It's kind of the point my wife is like, he's not yelling, he's just watching a
game.
He's just, I don't know.
That's what she does.
She just goes, don't scream like that.
Dad, I don't scream like that.
And I just go in every single time.
It immediately snaps me out of it.
And I go, you're right, buddy.
I'm sorry.
And then we hug and it ends.
So I still yell.
I still snap, but it's only for a second.
So I've been able to move the ball of my crazy family tree to that point, to
the point I've actually said to my wife, I go, can you start doing that to me?
That's really funny.
Just do that.
And because it's going to make me laugh if you just because somebody, a good
friend of mine sent me this thing where it said way back in the day, like Greek
philosophers considered.
Anger, momentary insanity.
And it just hit me like a clap of thunder because I just really thought of the
crazy things I've said, the things that I've broken, the amount of times I've
thrown my phone and it skips off the couch and then, you know, breaks the
plaster.
Just instant regret.
Like, why did I do that?
Now I got to tell my wife what happened to the wall.
We got a first and 10 and then the ref said, let's just, and then she'll just
sit in.
And then afterwards, when I've totally calmed down, as it's coming out of my
mouth, it's just like, I just understand the stupidity and the madness of like,
so you threw your phone, this thing, you work hard, you spend your money, you
love your phone.
Because you were bad at a thing that other people were doing that you're
watching and that you're not involved in, what?
Yeah.
And then I got to try to, I, and then I got to go on YouTube and Google how to,
you know, put that stupid crap in there, whatever the heck it used to be.
Spackle.
You got to sand it off and the different grades of sandpaper.
It's all part of the penance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now you got to paint the whole wall because you'll see that little thing.
Yeah.
That's that, that having to go through all of those steps, I think is good
because it just reminds you of like, oh yeah, this is why you shouldn't do that.
You know, like if you have to actually go through the steps, because I would
imagine there's a tremendous amount of shame every step of the way too.
Yeah.
Daddy's just, daddy broke a thing.
Don't, it's not, I can't.
Oh, next thing you know, you're in Home Depot trying to find one of the two
people on that 40,000 square foot store that can help you find what you need.
And the whole time you're just thinking, I didn't need to be here.
That's nice though, though, to, to have that kind of relationship with your
kids where you, you know, where you not only respect them, but also listen to
them because it, you know, it, the one thing that I keep hearing that I, I, I
hear everyone that I know who's a really good parent is they say like, yeah,
you know, the second your child is born, you immediately understand that
everything is not about you.
And that you, you know, you essentially are like living for this other, this
other being, you know, and that, that, and to, to hear that is, especially
because as comedians all day long, we're thinking about ourselves and we're
writing about ourselves and we're thinking about our career, you know, it's
like being a standup is a very entrepreneurial pursuit because you have to do
most of the shit.
Like, you're responsible for most of the, you're responsible for most of it
yourself.
So I think it's really good and healthy to be reminded like, yeah, it's not,
you're not the center of everything.
You just aren't.
And that's good.
No, no, it's been a, it's been a great thing.
And then like, uh, I always feel better no matter how bad I wanted to do
something.
If something comes up that my, one of my kids needs and my wife needs, I always
feel better.
Like, all right, you know, I'll play drums later or I'll, you know, I'll tape
the game.
Maybe I'll watch it later.
Like I, there's like a feeling when now instead of doing what I was wanting to
do, doing something
for them, there's this great feeling of like, wow, I'm a dad.
This, this is a very dad moment.
I mean, you know, it's a parent moment.
It's not like my wife obviously isn't making a bunch of sacrifices, but I am a
comedian.
So I'm going to tell this story through my point of view.
Of course.
Yeah, no, it, it actually, uh, feels good.
And, and one of the advantages of being a dad later in life is I get to hear
all my friends
whose kids are grown going, I wish I spent more time.
It's just like, all right.
I, okay.
Duly noted.
I had a buddy of mine the other day and he was, he's a great dad.
He goes, dude, my kids, I don't know.
I goes, I went to bed.
I woke up and now they're 17 and 15 and I would give anything in the world to
relive the
years you're at.
You're living right now.
How amazing it is.
And it's, and, and he was there, he was there for him.
And even being there for him, it goes by so quick.
Uh, I was talking to a comic buddy of mine too, where his kids, his daughters
are getting
to be like college age.
And he was just saying like, cause it's like this cruel thing.
Like they leave you, you get like this unbelievable, unconditional love, this
over the top love that
you feel.
And then immediately it's like the hourglass is turned over and it's like, you
get 18
years.
If they move away to college, they need it.
If they come back during breaks, it's like a different thing.
And each time they're more independent, which is what you want.
Cause you don't want to have some bum living there when they're like 40.
But I'm sure a lot of parents do suffer like a depression when all of a sudden
the house
is just empty.
And it's just like, oh my God, for so like for every single day for almost two
decades,
there was activity in the house and things that, you know, like there was chaos,
the chaos.
You get used to that sound and it's, yeah, I think it's like a, uh, you know, I
always
felt like, uh, you know, parents, when you would see them like be heartbroken
as they were sending
their kids off to college, it weirded me out when I was a kid.
Cause I wasn't into emotions other than laughing or rage, like crying just
weirded me out.
But when I, I, uh, when now looking back on it, it meant, I thought like, wow,
they really
did a, I mean, obviously I'm painting with the broad brush here, but they
really did a
good job.
They liked being parents.
And I think there's something really cool about your kid's 18 and you're still
looking
at them like they're your baby.
Thank you.