Name: Bill Burr - Getting Diet Shamed By Marc Maron
Uploaded: 2021-01-21T15:08:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Getting Diet Shamed By Marc Maron' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Getting Diet Shamed By Marc Maron' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-01-21. Transcript available.

my thing is i if like i have this thing where i'm not like addicted to it but
if i'm drinking i
can't keep it under 14. no with the free time i have on all of this i just i
can't so not per
week no way um i haven't drank since the end of november you made it through
the holidays no boo
yeah that's impressive oh god oh there was coal on my stock in this year joe
oh my god it was always fun the next day when i woke up and i didn't drink but
what pissed me off
was i still gained weight like i wasn't drinking i think i i oh i gotta tell i
gotta tell the
fucking the marin story oh yeah the mark marin story so i go over to this
christmas al madrigal
has this christmas party right they have this him and his wife have this
wonderful christmas party
right so we go over there and this just spread is laid out or whatever and i'm
feeling you know my
pants are tight and i'm just i'm not drinking why am i putting on this way so i'm
gonna eat well tonight
so marin shows up he looks great right he always looks like he's you know yeah
like the guy in the
rock band that didn't abuse himself too much you know comes in looking like the
rock star right he's
like i feel great you know i just lost 20 pounds you know i feel great blah
blah and then he looks
at me and he sees that i have like uh and it's like a you know piece of fish
and a little bit of
salad and there's all these sliders and and and quesadilla and all this laid
out and he just looks
he goes that that's all you're eating i was just like yeah man i can't eat that
other stuff like
i'll end up having to take a nap i just i can't do it right and he's like all
right so i eat it or
whatever and you know we're talking and then like two three hours goes by i'm
outside and uh
i just get hungry right like you can only eat like because you just feel that
your body used it up now
i'm hungry and i'm like uh you know tough it out tough it out now a half hour
goes by an hour goes
by now i'm starving so that takes over so i go back to the table so the now the
place is packed all right everybody's loud as shit and i'm over there i put one
slider on
and then i'm reaching for a quesadilla and then i just hear from like 20 feet
away there you go
there you go burr there you go right and i'm thinking that's fucking mark maron
and i go you
know what i'm not going to give him the satisfaction i want to see how bad he
wants me to hear him so i
don't i don't look at him i just keep piling it on and he's going there there
you go there you go
so i deliberately start walking towards him and the party's so loud i literally
am walking by him
and he's he's shouting at me and i finally had just stopped like a beam the guy
right i just
fucking put my hand on his shoulder and i go mark i heard you the first time
and he just started crying
laughing i was like i just wanted to know how bad you wanted me to hear that
you saw me eating bad
and he dude we were both fucking crying laughing i love it that's awesome yeah
it's awesome he's uh
my favorite thing he ever said to me was when i was going to move back to new york
and i i saw him
at the um i saw him at the comedy store and as soon as i saw him he just goes
hey i heard you're
you're pussing out man right they're like uh come on dude like you know and i'm
talking about well i
want to go back and all this shit he's like yeah man i get it you know you know
you can't get a
fucking charge here like you can there you know like he's going through it all
day and then i go i
don't know mark i just you know i just don't feel like la is the place where i'm
going to meet my wife
and he goes your wife have you looked at yourself lately he really is a reverse
inspirational speaker
you know yeah he's so funny man that's him as a personal trainer there you go
there you go mark
i'm looking for love have you looked at yourself