Name: Bill Burr - How The Grumpy Old Neighbour Got Under My Skin
Uploaded: 2021-04-04T14:23:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - How The Grumpy Old Neighbour Got Under My Skin' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - How The Grumpy Old Neighbour Got Under My Skin' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-04. Transcript available.

formerly billy burr formerly yeah yeah yeah i've always you know some i was
always bill
right up until i got into showbiz and uh you know people some people got in my
head like
uh it doesn't flow together you should go by william or whatever so i kind of
listened to him
and for like probably like four years i went by billy and every time somebody
said it like i
cringed like i don't know how billy crystal does it like as a man you know billy
yeah if you didn't
grow up with it but someone talked you into that but i was billy when i was a
little kid if you're
a little kid a little kid is billy and anytime a comedian does a joke and there's
a little kid
that they're talking to it's like let me tell you something billy yeah it's
always yeah well that's
interesting because that goes back to what we were just talking about maybe
when you were billy
you would have taken up guitar skateboarding without being self-conscious yeah
well that's because that's
what we're talking about i wasn't self-conscious till i got an argument with my
fucking neighbor down
below me all right this happened today no this happened like like two three
days ago about guitar
playing no it it turned into that it got it got ugly what happened all right so
i live in this old
building and like it's really like there's no insulation in it whatsoever like
i've been sitting
on my couch late at night and you know feeling like i'm the only person in the
world and all of a sudden
you just hear like um you just let me clear that throat and they sound like
they're on the couch with
you like the place is fucking haunted and they're literally across the
courtyard i don't know what if
it's the acoustics i don't know what it is so everything's fucking loud as hell
in there so
we live above this this old guy the classic old guy you don't want to be living
alone not even no you
know no pets yeah blinds poll you don't even know what the fuck he does right
and uh he's always like
he's really sarcastic yeah like if you drop something you know because there's
gravity you drop
something he you just hear him like muffled downstairs you just hear do it
again oh no like that he's
doing that how can you live in a place that's got that thin a situation it's it's
fucking ridiculous
and like uh oh keep it up oh she does that so i think it's funny if he says do
it again i do it
again you know comedian i don't give a shit but my girlfriend like maybe
because it's a guy she feels
bullied by him so like two months ago she tells me you know you really need to
go down there and talk
to this guy you need to talk to this guy man up no no dude man up would be if
it was me we're the
same age yeah right right how old is this guy dude i i don't know you know
hundreds i was joking on my
podcast that he tested for mikhail's navy that's how old he is he's an old guy
so it's like what am
i gonna do yeah i'm gonna go down there and what what is gonna come of this i
don't want to do this
shit so yesterday two three days ago it's the end of christmas i'm dragging my
christmas tree down
it's like 10 in the fucking morning legally i could start building a house at 7
a.m yeah i'm bringing a
tree down and he comes out and then sarcastic is is hell to the point i didn't
even get it but he's
had this bizarre look on his face he just goes uh what did he say he said uh
beautiful morning isn't
it like yelled at and i was and i was looking at him like like uh what what the
fuck is this guy out
of his mind and then i realized oh he's being sarcastic i heard the tree coming
down so i'm like
whatever and i go in the house and my girl's like oh he was yelling again go
down there and talk to
him so i'm like fine you want me to talk to him so i go down there and i go
down to talk to the guy
and as i start walking up his walk he's sitting there and i see like this
little kind of look of
fear on his face and i didn't go down there to have an argument and i just i
was just like listen
man you're always yelling up there what is the problem and i sound like she
dropped a brick and he
just starts screaming at me i go look we have hardwood floors look i came i
kept going i came down here
to work it out and he goes what does that mean what is that some sort of hip
new saying i swear to god
so i keep i kept my cool and i kept going like dude i'm just coming down here
to blah blah blah blah
blah right and he just kept yelling at me then at one point he made a reference
to my bad guitar
playing as sarcastic as hell he goes how's your band and then he goes then he
goes then he goes
oh it's in a lap right no and uh no i mean i swear to god yeah if there is an
afterlife i want kudos on
this because i immediately want to be like how's your fucking life yeah yeah
how's your fucking life
really is it what you dream of you didn't do it yeah who's your last roommate
fucking larry howard
you fucking asshole no because i i have a line i don't yell at old people i don't
sorry well that's
what he said he goes how's your guitar that's what fucking kills me is it
really hurt my feelings
because that was outside the realm of comedy so i don't have musician walls
built up yeah he hurt you
like oh he got in he got in oh he got in he got in he fucking gave me an uppercut
right to my feelings
oh and he always even worked because then i came upstairs and my girlfriend was
standing on the
balcony listening to all she wants to go at it with the guy and i just uh i
just you know i got lines
but what happened though so what happened was i found the worst thing i just
said to him i didn't
even say you're a jerk i just said you know what you're being a jerk right now
i came down here
and you're just being a jerk and i walked away and uh and i just i left it at
that and you know of
course everybody listened to my podcast was like dude you know what i would
have done i would have
fucking got a paint gun no you wouldn't have you wouldn't have you wouldn't
have or people tell me
to stomp around my apartment oh that's a great and play the tv real loud oh
great so i actually
piss off all the same people in my building well you know what's weird is that
with those kind of
situations yeah the the fact is you could be as nice as fucking hell to the guy
and he still won't
change and it's only going to be for you you know but sometimes if you're nice
and you make gestures
sometimes they do you have a level of understanding he's probably angry i think
what i should have done
was i should have made a gesture a while ago and i didn't and now the first
time we've acted first
time we've ever really talked it's a confrontation it's a conference so i i
think it's it's over you
know it's like it's at that horrific you like if you get in an army with a girl
to that level on a
first date there's no second date no there's no you can't bring the flowers not
unless they're six so
with me there's usually a third and a fourth date and eventually a marriage so
so i don't know how
that works for you but in my experience if you get into a really good argument
on the first date
you might marry her