Name: Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - Toughest Job In The World
Uploaded: 2021-04-18T12:31:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - Toughest Job In The World' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - Toughest Job In The World' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-18. Transcript available.

i did a bit on the wage gap on my new uh my new special yeah well there you go
well my old thing
was like how the did they find out what everybody makes you just call up the irs
can we get w-2s
on everybody they're gonna give you that information well uh i don't know i don't
know i have no idea
but all i know is that's what it's harder for them straight across the board
that is the for women
just everything is harder and all of our lives are easier that's the overall
fucking message i
say you're being sarcastic i i am no it's just like you have one of my favorite
jokes of all time
about uh motherhood being the hardest job in the world he goes how's the
hardest job in the world
when you're wearing pajamas all day yeah yeah no job you can do in your pajamas
i love that bit
my wife hates it no no i'm not saying it's it's not fucking no but it's
difficult yeah it's it's
obviously difficult but it's a funny point i used to do a whole thing yeah yeah
go work on an oil rig
that blows up exactly and as you jump into the fucking like on fire water going
underneath that
and then you're just sitting there with second degree burns and salt fucking
water hoping that
coast guard gets there before the shark eats you alive talk to me about you
talk to me about the
terrible twos i have a friend of mine who works at a oil rig in canada in
northern alberta where it
gets 50 below zero and i go well how do you do it because they work outside i
go how do you do it he
goes well you keep the truck running and you work for about seven to ten
minutes at a time and you
have to go inside the truck for about a half an hour i go really he goes yeah
he goes you can't
take anymore because any exposed skin you have he goes you try to cover your
face up as much as
possible you put a ski mask on but just your eyes just all around your eyes is
all fucked up like
everything's fucked up it's like it's just too cold you just can't do it 50
below zero they just work for
short stretches of time then they go in the car and then the other guy will go
out while he's in
there and then he'll go out for like 10 minutes and then they take a break for
another 10 15 minutes
then the other first cow will go back out again yeah all of those shows make me
so thankful that
i'm a comedian those crab fishing shows what's the worst job you had just as
far as physically like
i i will kill myself before i'm 30 if i do this out of high school i worked on
a uh uh there was a
knights of columbus hall that was having a wheelchair ramp built and i had to
carry cement bags and pressure
treated lumber every day and i only lasted a little over two weeks i think i
lasted eight days i was a
gopher on a construction site we were we were roofing in june or july and i
just remember having to bring
up those first of all i brought the wrong i bought the wrong color fucking shingles
they wanted the
fucking ebony one and this was off i don't know what the fuck it was so i had
to go all the way back
unload the fucking things i loaded on load some more back brought the fucking
things back i just
remember dude it was just like i never ate so much in my life like i'd eat like
three sandwiches and
like a half hour later i'd be like starving and just weight was just falling
off of me i was just
like dude what the this is insane and but the thing was if i hung in there for
like a month i would
have got my sea legs but i i just was like no but i i didn't have it i knew it
i always knew i always
knew like when i played drums and everything like that as much every time i
thought i was getting good
i'd go into guitar center and some eight-year-old kid would get on a kit and i'd
be like holy fuck like
i was like dude i would pay you to give me lessons and it's just like that when
you switch when whatever
you're trying to do when you see like a kid come in and he fucking blow i mean
blows you away it's
just like it's just like all right i i this is this is a hobby bill this is a
hobby well i mean working
doing construction is definitely not a fucking hobby it's just brutal but there's
a gear labor
there's a there's a gift as far as like seeing how things go together oh yeah
dude there's an art to
everything well there's an art to construction there's the louis cks of fucking
contractors
oh yeah no i mean as far as building houses but i mean laboring like carrying
bags of cement there's
no fucking art carrying bags of cement but no but they would give me shit to do
like you know make
this fucking miter cut 45 and i i fucked the same cut up three times in a row
it was to frame a door
jam and i kept measuring to the inside of the corner rather the outside of the
corner remember
the third time i did it my boss just looked at me grabbed the wood and he
looked at me the whole time
walked up to the frame and never never took his eyes off me and the frame was
behind him and he
just stuck it to the fucking wall and just stared at me i was so embarrassed i
was just like oh god
dude he's like dude you're going you went through like fucking twenty dollars
worth of stock to make
one one fucking cut like what are you doing here i was just like oh and i was
just i didn't even pick
i didn't even pick up my check i drove up to the site i i worked monday through
friday and then
monday tuesday wednesday i drove up to the site and i just looked at it and my
body everything just said
dude fuck this and i just kept driving he never called why would he call me i'm
the guy wasting
lumber he doesn't give a shit he got free labor out of me and i didn't give a
fuck and um i forget
what i did after that but that was a rough time for me but like i always knew
like if i if i didn't
like a job and stuff like that it's like the deniro thing and uh what was that
the heat you got to be
willing to walk at any moment you got to be willing to fucking walk you got to
know it's bad yeah that
was it that was the probably the toughest physical job that i had and it was
also a good it was a good
lesson because it was a lesson that like if you work for somebody else and you're
just doing labor
you're just doing just mindless labor you don't have any time for anything else
you think you got
eight hours in a day and there's still another 16 you'll get shit done you're
exhausted you're
fucking beaten down i would go to the gym i try to work out and i remember
trying to hit the bag and
i just had nothing there was nothing there i never felt so tired in my life and
i was only like 18
i should have been full of piss and vinegar i was just dead and i remember like
all my ambition
wheels would just ramp it up i was like okay this is not my fucking future i
gotta figure out what the
fuck i'm doing because i had these delusions that i was going to become a carpenter
i was like well
get in the union i'll start building houses that's a good gig which it is you
know if you're that's what
i thought i was going to do yeah you know what it's a good gig if you're the
guy telling the people to
go build the fucking house but if you're the guy out there pouring the forms
you've noticed that
that's mostly young guys like that is a fucking young even like landscaping
like after a while you got to
get a crew and you got to be the guy like sending the crews out because there's
only so long that you can just
imminent like i i feel like like laborers and that they have like the same
career trajectory as like a
professional athlete somewhere around 35 to 38 your body's gonna be like dude i
can't i can't i can't
fucking do this anymore you just break down there was uh i had a bulging disc
in my neck and i went to an mri place
and uh there was a lady who went in before me a lady lady and this uh lady uh i
was looking at
different people's mris and this lady had the most fucking ridiculous cartoon
bulge of her disc
some poor woman who uh i think she worked in a laundromat or something like
that just carrying
baskets of clothes and her back was just so fucked up and she was probably like
40 years old or something
like that came over your hair from you know mexico or guatemala or something
and i remember looking at
her back like in like this poor lady has no choice she has to go to work there's
no way around this
and there's no jobs for her other than this you know like what she's she can't
speak english like
she's got to do what the fuck she's got to do and she had you went into her
chart huh he started
reading right there it was just sitting up there on the screen and i asked the
guy who's back is that
he goes it's hers i go holy shit i go does mine look that bad he goes no he
goes that's bad
he goes that's bad it's real bad like she could barely walk like she had sciatica
up and down her leg