Name: Bill Burr - Answers Lipton's Top 10 Questions
Uploaded: 2021-09-22T13:40:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Answers Lipton's Top 10 Questions' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Answers Lipton's Top 10 Questions' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-22. Transcript available.

I want to end on this you never got to be on inside the actor's studio although
I feel like
if Lipton were still around I feel like this would just be inevitable so I want
to run through
his 10 questions I don't know about that will you do a 10 question Lipton with
me now do you want
me to do it as Lipton or just as Adam Ray you gave me all these characters I
love your impression
do it as Lipton I thought about doing it as all right we've got Bill Burr here
Bill Bill what's your favorite word no
great no I'm bad because I have this fucking need to be liked so I say yes to
everything and then I
have no time and then I flip out and act like an asshole in my house acting
like I have no power no is my
new favorite can you do this no I cannot I don't I don't have the time no is a
positive word for me
my favorite word is candied yams what is your least favorite word words
what is your least favorite word
however
I don't know
it's a tough fucking game isn't it good thing I'm dead
wait what is my least favorite word
um
how about expression
can you use it for me
an expression
how so
it's for me I just can't
I just feel like for me
oh yeah I think that's that's what's wrong with us
as people
Bill what turns you on
free time
and that's where Lipton turns to his to the crowd of students and goes
yeah having nothing to do having just a Saturday where I can hang out with my
wife
and make her laugh
that's great
and nobody's texting me
what turns you off
um
well I I what turns me off is uh
aside from just human behavior in general I would say um
the phony
fucking
white people acting like they care
white people who call themselves woke
and not seeing like
like
that's not something you bestow on yourself
that's something that somebody who isn't white
says you are
because of your actions
it shouldn't be written on the side of your fucking yoga pants
sorry
what's your favorite curse word
oh that's a it's a tough one
I love them all
you can have three
fuck
cunt
and then anything silly
cock sucker
ass face
you know
just any of the silly ones
I like the blunt ones
like cunt
fuck
really
gets it out of you
and then uh
yeah
yeah compound words like
bitch tits
don't have as much
impact
yeah those are always silly
ass face
bitch tits
yes
fuck nuts
that shit's all just funny
poop cock
I remember a heavy metal album
when in the liner notes
they thanked someone
it was like
like Joe Smith
it was Joe
air quote
uh
hey shit fuck
so and so
so I just pictured this roadie
when someone was messing up
hey shit fuck
why didn't you
it's just like
it was really
unique
oh yeah
and it never really caught on
the sun's coming in here
I'm gonna get a fucking
sunburner
oh
mood lighting
now
all right
there he is
I'm not washed out
what sounded
perfect for this next question
what sound
or noise
do you love
the sound
of a professional drummer
playing
on
on a
perfectly tuned up kit
without anybody else
and just playing a groove
is one of my favorites
the sound
of a
a helicopter
um
that's a bunch of them
and what sound
do you hate
oh
there's a particular
laugh that I love
that is
it's
it's
beyond
funny
it's that you
fucking connected
to something
in them
that they thought
only they
noticed
there's a difference
that that's the laugh
that I have been
chasing after forever
what profession
other than your own
would you like
to attempt
what profession
other than my own
uh
I'd be a teacher
for what grade
high school
would you call them
cunts
if they were being
cunts
yes
great
without a doubt
without a doubt
high school
or college
what profession
would you not
would you not
like
who wrote
these fucking
questions
what profession
would you not
what profession
would you not
like to do
so somebody
goes
want to do
this
bill burr
and you go
no you
can't
I wouldn't
want to be
a cop
I wouldn't
want to pull
somebody over
and fucking
have to walk
up to the car
wondering
what the
in the middle
of the night
what am I
walking into
and then also
I wouldn't
want to be
uh
you know
have to fucking
look the other
way when someone
was abusing
their power
because of
some blue
coat
it just
seems like
you can't
win as a
cop
and then all
the horrible
shit you have
to see
it just
yeah
just it
just seems
like a
thankless
fucking job
would you
dress up
as a cop
absolutely
and I come
out of a
cake for you
that was my
last question
the last
the last
question is
if heaven
exists
what would
you like
to hear
God say
at the
pearly
gates
I'm
sorry
I was
fucking
around
I should
have taken
it more
seriously
would you
like
something
to drink
oh man
oh my god