Name: Bill Burr & Tom Segura - Should You Trust People With Your Money?
Uploaded: 2022-05-19T01:18:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Tom Segura - Should You Trust People With Your Money?' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Tom Segura - Should You Trust People With Your Money?' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-19. Transcript available.

I do think you're one of the only people I talked to about hey man do you trust
other you say that hey man yeah I say hey man that's why I like hey man do you
trust other people to just be in control of your finances and absolutely not
yeah
and and you're the only especially like yeah those people who have a what do
they call those people a money manager business managers they get they sign
over power of attorney and this guy can just sign checks with your names yeah I
know I know people go dude I don't even know like people who are like you know
busy and they go I don't even know what a bill is I put a stamp on an envelope
it's
like dude and you know what else you don't know you don't have no idea what
your account balance is you're out of your fucking mind you better hope that
guy you're with is I don't I completely agree with you I because here's
something
like for for people to listen in the entertainment world what
happens is in show business in show business once an actor comic writer
director
whatever starts making like 250 300 thousand dollars which is an excellent
amount of money to make ridiculous they go there's no way I would know what to
do
with this somebody else should also I'm burdened by my hectic schedule right
who's
gonna pay my bills I'm gonna give it all to this person that person now
controls all
of your money crazy and I don't see bills anymore but my whole thing like to my
friends who I've talked about this who have that I'm like you know I know guys
that happen to not be entertainers that make way more money than you and they
don't have a business manager they pay their bills I know whatever business
people doctors like before I came over here that's what I was doing and I hate
it I get
off the road yeah and there's this mountain of mail yeah I give to a couple of
charities
and once you do that they're like yeah we got a live one and I swear to god
they chop down
like 20 redwood trees trying to get you to do something else you know so um I
you know I always
have a bunch of junk mail and everything to go through but I just sit there and
I fucking hate doing
it it's tedious I get why people don't want to do it but it's already bad
enough that you're taking your
money and you're sticking it into a bank yeah that is just completely unregulated
yeah and can do
whatever it wants to do and it's too big to fail you already running that oh my
account's insured for
blah yeah until it isn't right that's like those people with the houses in
Florida I got hurricane
insurance yeah until they say go fuck yourself which they do yeah insurance is
the biggest scam ever yeah
biggest scam ever wait so do you not pay any of your bills online no but this
is what I hate though
but all my bank information is already online just in case they want to do it
and it's just like
is it really my money you know can I make decisions on my account you fucking cunts
it's really annoying
that you're going to put that out there and then just sit there and tell people
that it's secure it
isn't secure the guy who built the site he right there has a back door they
always have the back door to
go in according to all the movies that I've watched once again win way over my
head but I'm going to
go with this and then anybody who's smarter than that guy can break in
absolutely and your account
can be taken over by any like the bank at any moment could be like your account's
frozen absolutely
the government could be like your account is frozen yeah if the lift swanza heist
and goodfellas can go
down uh-huh however you what did you say it lift swanza whatever the hell it i've
seen a zillion times
liftanza liftanza whatever oh jimmy if that can go down they can't get my my my
side splitter funny
bone money give me a break it's just sitting there waiting to be got guys you
can take bilber's money
whenever you want here's a good one for you don't ever use your debit card ever
ever why because that's
your money right if you're going to get doubled swiped you want it to be the
credit card so when they call
you up like did you get a did you get a ham sandwich in a lap dance in edmonton
yeah no i didn't have
fun with that click yeah that's on them but if they get you now you know if
they get your money yeah
you know uh you know the banks with the red tape oh it's gonna take six weeks
yeah before we get the
official review board to look at this you know it's gonna be some like that
once again i've never gone
through it cash is king that's why you gotta have cash too man he's right
though because i've had friends
that had uh identity theft on their debit cards yeah and if you lose the cash
you it's yeah it you're
just out of that cash until the bank finally comes around to giving it back i
got it one time with a
bank on the debit card when there was a 700 dollar uh payment to verizon and i
was like i don't have
a verizon account and they're like we'll see what we can do i'm like what like
this is 700 man like
what the fuck yeah you're fucked you're just out of it you just had to wait and
wait yeah well the
credit card company's fucked yeah but they have the option of ramping up
interest rates and pat and
passing the fuck over on you as an individual yeah can't know it's it's it's
unbelievably uh
terrifying all of that shit to have all all of that is it's just uh yeah that's
and how do you feel
about using an iphone because they can track where you are what you looking at
what you do well look i can
sit here and become the unabomber and sit in a cave and use a typewriter and
shit but it i have to play
the game to some level um i mean what what am i going to do i mean i know it
has a tracking device
on it and shit i don't like any of this but it's like i try to not i didn't
want to get a flat screen
tv but then they're like well everyone else got one we're changing the signal i
mean what i have to go
with it or else i just become that screaming at people
oh my god