Name: Bill Burr - The greatest STREET JOKE ever
Uploaded: 2022-10-15T23:13:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The greatest STREET JOKE ever' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - The greatest STREET JOKE ever' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-15. Transcript available.

I'm fairly buttoned down, but I get into confrontations regularly with sort of
public officials and
things like that, you know. You mean cops? No, not cops, although it has
happened, but danger zones
for me are airports, train stations, places like that. Do you have a problem
with authority?
Maybe, yeah, a little bit. Like, I don't mind being governed, but I just, like,
I hate when a
security person goes, excuse me, sir, I'm going to need you, too. Right. I'm
going to need you, too,
and it just immediately, it just gets to that, like, you don't need me to what?
I don't fucking
work, like, I mean, one of my favorite street jokes I heard, uh, Jackie the Joke
Man, Jackie
Martin, I'm not going to do as good a job, I can't tell a good street joke, but
it was basically a guy
goes into a job interview, and the job interviewer goes, uh, so tell me, what
is, uh, what would you
say your biggest weaknesses? The guy goes, my biggest weakness? Well, uh, yeah,
no, I, I guess, I, I guess
I'd have to say it's my honesty, and then the interviewer goes, your honesty?
Well, I don't think
you're being honest around here. It's going to be a problem, and the guy goes,
hey, I don't give a
fuck what you think. That's one of those things, like, beyond laughing at that,
like, I so relate, like,
to me, the funny thing about that joke is not the obvious, to me, it's that guy
feeling himself in a
few moments when he gets his job, he has to fucking listen to this guy. I don't
think you being honest
is going to be a problem around here. Oh, you're going to give me a fucking
cookie? I give a fuck
what you think, like, I, I, I wish more people were like that. I actually think
the world would be a
better place if more people were, were like that. If, if more people didn't
give a fuck what other
people thought. Yeah. I mean, I think it's healthy in a relationship. I agree.
For a wife to not give
a fuck. You, you, you want to have their respect and all that, but you can't be,
like, I find myself
with, like, my wife just going, like, you see, I, I didn't lose my temper there,
right? I'm a good boy,
right? And then she'll be like, yeah, yeah, you know, and then that's what I, I
don't literally say
I'm a good boy, but that's what I feel like I'm saying. Yeah. And then I hate
myself afterwards
going like, dude, you're, you're 48. When are you going to be fucking man
enough
to just be comfortable with yourself? Well, because you're, because it's always
a trade-off,
isn't it? When you're in a relationship and, and it's important to keep score.
Yeah. It's important
to say, listen, you might want to just look at the balance sheet. No, this is,
this is what you have
to do with women on. This is what's so hard as a guy is you have to, you've got
to play like a mind
game and women are way better at the mind game. So already it's an away game.
It's a hostile crowd.
You're probably going to lose this, but what you have to do is you have to
improve and never
fucking bring it up. And that's what gets them on their heels. That's what
scares them is if you're
actually improving and becoming a better person and you're not once see me,
keep going to my wife
looking for the approval. She still feels a sense of power. Like, okay, he
still needs me. He still needs
me. Okay. But if you just are improving, they see you marching this positive
direction and you're not
looking over your shoulder and be like, right, I'm going the right direction.
Right. All of a sudden
you start acting like that. Then they'll scurry up like, what's going on with
you? It kind of freaks
them out. I don't know. Saying that out loud. I don't know why you'd want to do
that to the person
you're with, but like that gets back to the, I don't give a fuck what you think.
Because I think,
you know, my insecurity is I do.
Oh my God.