Name: Bill Burr - What Happens After You Die
Uploaded: 2023-01-13T15:35:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - What Happens After You Die' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - What Happens After You Die' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-13. Transcript available.

just when i watch people putting their jackets in the overhead compartment as
they're saying
don't put your jackets up there and they're deliberately ignoring it and in
that moment
i see why it's never going to work like how people are never it we're never
going to get
to a utopia yeah just in that moment of watching that guy as they're like you
know people please
don't put your jackets up in the overhead compartments until all the bags are
up there
has somebody stuffing this i'm going to antarctica snorkel jacket up there when
i just see that that
selfishness yeah and i'm not judging the guy because i can relate because i'm
selfish and i
just look at it that's right there is the reason yeah that right there is the
seed of why we're
never gonna we're never gonna get along i kind of i think that's good too i don't
know if i'd want
to live in a utopia it'd be too boring there'd be nothing there's nothing to
strive for yeah which
is why i don't have that desire for the afterlife with you go to heaven you go
to heaven to me
people are still breaking balls and like there's still the pettiness right you
still see somebody
like trying to pick something up with their foot because they don't want to get
off the couch
and you know and takes them an extra two minutes just watching human behavior
like that like if it's
like this i don't know who knows i mean obviously nobody knows what happens
when you die obviously
maybe you go to some enlightened thing i think it's over i mean it makes sense
that it's over
and i think that you know and people well life is too short it's like yeah but
you came out as the
highest level being right you really hit the lottery you mean what if flies
live like what eight days
you know what i mean or like you know you watch these discovery things where
for the most part you're gonna die by getting eaten alive
murdered or something if you're lucky it's a big cat and they'll just kind of
choke you out ufc style
except they use their mouth but like you know the komodo dragon it's just that's
just the most brutal
one do you give much thought to to that stuff to the afterlife to god the idea
in existence or do you
just sort of not as much as i used to i i uh i don't know if it's arrogance or
whatever but i just i
once i was able to kind of wrap my head around that religions are all based in
the same
uh just natural feeling you have that if you do something good you feel good if
you do something
bad you feel bad um that moral compass thing then once i just kind of looked
how they just sort of
exploit all of it and it's hypocritical and you know just a whole that like you
know people who
get super religious like there's people who get so religious that they commit
murder because somebody
says something bad against their religion and the fact that they can still
think that they're going
to be in the eyes of this higher power as something good is uh it's frightening
i think what religion does
either deliberately or inadvertently is it perverts the your moral compass of
doing good things makes
you feel good doing bad things makes you feel bad and like look believe me dude
if i you know when i
die if i am going to get judged i am not going to make it i have done some
horrible horrible things and
i would literally i don't what i would have to do i would have to save a city
single-handedly from a fire
while suffering you know third degree burns just to get i think back to even i'm
like that like gambler
that's just like i'm just down forever and i should just walk away i'm never
going to get even i'm not
even going to get close so um you know i was a piece of shit for too long so
there you go that's uplifting
what about what if the what if god is not tied to religion though what i'm
saying is god there's a
creator he makes beings he puts them here and then that's it hands off that's
how i view him
that's how i view him like i don't view like you you can't sit there and make
seven billion of
something give them freedom of choice and not think that some sort of chaos is
going to ensue
um i think carlin or somebody said something about how it's just his
entertainment he just made these
things to watch i feel like you do believe that something made us a creator
made us it's not just
randomness no i i i have my honesty is i don't know what happened i have no
idea what happened but i i am
more likely to go i go we'll go 70 science 30 philosophy and 0 religion is how
i do it but i like
the the ground floor of every religion where it's like you know you know don't
kill people
honor your parents don't steal and that type of thing although i've broken a
lot of commandments
oh my god