Name: Bill Burr & Paul Virzi - How To Deal With Your Angry Girlfriend
Uploaded: 2023-02-25T17:37:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Paul Virzi - How To Deal With Your Angry Girlfriend' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Paul Virzi - How To Deal With Your Angry Girlfriend' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-25. Transcript available.

I'm upset that there were certain things that men can't get away with or do
because if we do it
it's the end of the world but if women do it it's okay you know just like
taking mob money no like
like you know like dude come on man like like the control thing dude I think
listen I listen I want
to make this clear to anybody and I know I have a lot of female listeners and
stuff and and and I
appreciate it Jesus Paul you're backpedaling no no I just say it I don't say no
what I'm saying is
that like I find like that there are certain things like women first of all
women heckle there's a
women heckle more that's like a like a comedy fact somebody's like did like
like women heckle more
because when a man does it it's really malicious and there's a problem but when
I want what women
do it just to throw something out and when they get drunk a lot I've noticed
that but it's almost
like you can't you can't really say like if you're like shut the cup there's
something like that all
of a sudden you know it's like this big yeah Paul you can't say shuck up you
have to make it funny
no I know but do you know how bad I want to be on board for this you didn't
know I'm going too
heavy I know I'm going too heavy too early but no dude here's what I'm saying
man like I just feel
like if a woman can like a woman can't let you like like I don't know like it
just goes as soon as
you say something negative it's like you're this misogynist hole and like you
can't like it's like but
they could call us out on you know you ever fight with your girl right you ever
fight with your girl
at home no not at all we get along tremendously no no you ever fight and all of
a sudden it's like
when you when she's upset with you it's it's the whole and I'm not talking
about your girl I'm
talking about every girl she's upset with you and it's like hey what's wrong
sweetie nothing nothing
all of a sudden your night starts to become f***ed up right there's nothing
like the wall is up you
just want to have a good time you want to eat dinner with her but you got to
learn to get around that
I told you how to get around that you know if my girl hold on let me just
finish the point let me
just finish the point we so we we we're like what's wrong sweetie let's talk
about it let's
communicate no nothing nothing then they march they walk in the other room and
they know they do it and
we're sitting there like my night's gonna suck right now and I just want things
to be good but
when the tables are turned here's my problem when the tables are turned when we're
upset when we're
upset about something it can't it's not like that we just are like oh listen I
just really didn't like
I didn't preach guys don't do that guys don't go nothing nothing and walk away
and make it linger
and that you know what I mean like it's almost like a control listen like what's
all you do Paul
all you do is when they go hilarious when they go into that mood what's the
matter and they go
nothing you just go great and then it makes them mad and then they're gonna
tell you or if they march
out of the room what you do is you march right behind them really close like
where they can almost
feel your body when you just dance all they walk behind them all goofy that's
funny dude you said
something once you go sometimes just say no no sometimes I go I go Bill I'm
trying to watch
the game Stacy knows I talk about this I'm trying to watch the game and she's
just watching me like
and I know in her mind she's going there's something that could be done in the
house I know he can do
why is he and you go like this you go sometimes he says to you I thought it was
great you go
sometimes just say no like like if they ask you something just look at him go
no yeah I'm not
doing that why because I'm watching this game right now and I'm really enjoying
myself and that's what I'm
going to do with this the next three hours of my life that's what I'm going to
do the thing you know
what it is Paul it really isn't women it's so many guys are such like pussies
and don't just just say
what you want like I always say what is she going to do is she going to choke
slam you on the kitchen
table all the worst she's going to do is huff and puff and get upset and it's
like and then you just
you don't lose your temper you just go what are you mad you're mad because I
want to eat ice cream
and watch the fucking knicks at 7 30 at night right I'm not doing it you want
me to do something
write it on a post-it and I will do it tomorrow okay but for right now I'm
sitting down and I'm
watching this game and I'm going to have a hell of a time doing it you're
welcome to join me but if
you don't want to and I'll tell you right now if you're going to continue to do
stuff like to this
to me you're going to make me miserable you don't want to do that right and you
just logic your way
out of it but you don't you don't get mad it doesn't work did you go you you
ever go through
a phase yes no but is it is it a marriage yes is it because I'm married five
years and I'm starting
to see that or is it just because you're a young guy it's because you're
younger like dude I've made
every mistake I'm not I'm not sitting here talking like I never took the bay
and be like you know
what the fuck I'm trying to fucking watch this and then you call him a name and
then it's over
because now it's all about you call him a name it's over yeah yeah yeah and no
matter how ridiculous
and we can't but we can't run around we can't run away and cry see they can do
that a woman could
run around or run away and cry you know something fuck this I don't need this
and cry and then it's
two days of a fight and it's miserable but a man doesn't do that look if they
look if they're crying
over some shit you really did and it's a legitimate cry you got a man up and
shut the game off but if
they're just using it as a way of bullshit thing I just you just go look you're
33 you're crying over
ice cream in a mug there's no way this is you I I I call bullshit and then they
flip out and you go
look look how quick he just changed it you just shut that off like fucking yeah
Meryl Streep you know
what's good too you know what I found I get real mad what you do is you just
hug I was just you hug
them you lay on them on the couch and as they're yelling you going this isn't
funny this isn't funny
you just say a bunch of goofy sweet shit right into their neck which makes them
ticklish and you just
refuse to take it fucking seriously you just took the words out of my mouth I
was gonna tell every
mother him with a pillow every then you're done every dude who's listening to
this right now when
you fight with your girl the one thing that does work walk up to him and give
him a hug and go let's
let's stop this let's stop this and just hug them they can't no I don't do it
like that I do it goofy
I do it goofy like I get I give like I'm like half a fucking I don't know what
I just it's ridiculous
like my arms all the way to the side and then clasp around her oh what's the
matter I start rocking
her dude if you pick somebody if their feet are not touching the ground it's
impossible to say mad
you can't if you just if you sit there and bounce them yeah they'll eventually
start like unless you
did something really bad then their legs are free to give you the heel to the
nuts you gotta watch
there's always a danger Paul there's a danger to everything yeah and that's
another thing
but we don't have to get into that where we can't hit they could hit I've
gotten hit you
got it you have to take a good one Stacey Stacey rapped me like fucking she was
Floyd Floyd Mayweather
just boof I just went but they look I'm trying to get beyond seeing the bad I
really don't do
like I've dedicated hours of my comedy to that shit and I think I think I've
had enough at this
point I don't I don't have any more complaints I think I've done a bit on every
fucking one of them
um oh my god uh uh uh oh oh oh oh