Name: Bill Burr - Fear Of Getting Killed By An Animal
Uploaded: 2023-11-24T18:53:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Fear Of Getting Killed By An Animal' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Fear Of Getting Killed By An Animal' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-24. Transcript available.

my thing is more uh getting killed by animals is is is like a thing that's your
fear yeah like my
fear is not being able to outrun a komodo dragon which are surprisingly fast
you know whatever you
decide you're gonna do that white vacation okay let's go to the galapagos
islands you wander away
from the tour guide because there's always one of those people that does it
yeah and it goes up and
then the worst thing is they bite you and their saliva is full of this bacteria
and second they
bite you you're gonna die and then what they do is they just follow you around
for like three days
with their fucking tongue and they just wait for you to slowly die they don't
wait till you're dead
though because they're reptiles they have no feelings and then they just sort
of come up to
you and they always go right for the gut and then they just start eating you
you think that old
woman waking up with the fucking rubber mask was bad yeah they just dude it's
like them and bears
bears are another one bears no bears are bad bears are dumb they have the
ability to kill you before
they start eating you and they don't they just fucking they maul you with you
yeah no they maul
you and they just start they just start it's just like dude just break like
that's why like if i ever
had to get killed by an animal it would be one of those super fucking like cats
you know a panther
a fucking jaguar a lion tiger dude you're gonna be like that guy in vegas that
fucking thing grabbed
him by the neck and within two seconds he was just like that and walked off i
can fucking handle that
all day long komodo dragon bear uh sharks shark let me come up and take a bite
out of you to see if
you're edible man that tastes pretty good let me come back and then the whole
fear of like how it's
underneath yeah no no it's like being in the jungle with your head in the
ground there's a lion's coming
up to you fucking taking bites out of your ass right like i am like terrified
of the ocean so i don't i
don't you don't swim in the ocean then never go there no no no way i did last
year i there was a i just
my thing is more uh i just i saw this old guy i was staying with my family
right on the beach right so
like um i watched this old guy california every day no it was back east back
east this guy would get
into the cold water and he would swim out to this buoy and come back he did it
every day and i just told
nia i go i'm fucking doing that i gotta get over this shit and i went out there
and i did it and i
came back and i just kept thinking the whole time the amount of times that i've
done stand-up bits
on tv saying how fucking stupid it is to swim in the ocean if i get eaten by a
shark right now
there is not going to be one person they might feel bad but
oh my god