Name: Bill Burr - My Journey Of Quitting Alcohol
Uploaded: 2024-08-09T16:28:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - My Journey Of Quitting Alcohol' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - My Journey Of Quitting Alcohol' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-09. Transcript available.

I got to put it back.
Naturally, it's why I stopped drinking.
I was just like, I was like downstairs, like, you know, I was getting hammered,
man.
You know, because you get to the point where, you know, you're making some
money and then
you can buy like the top-notch, like that bottle of tequila you got me.
It kills me because I quit right around there.
So I never got to try it.
I never got to try it.
Dude, this thing, like the bottle itself looked like it, the bottle looked like
it was worth
like a thousand bucks.
Like it looked like, like handcrafted, like, you know, like masonry to make the
bottle.
And I poured that for people and they think it's amazing.
But I, my thing was, uh, I used to watch like me TV and I used to watch old
series.
Like I used to love watching Peter Gunn and, uh, 77 sunset strip and the untouchables
and
they were all drinking and and I would just sit there and watch them.
And there's, there's that English show too, that was on, uh, Peaky blinders.
I mean, how you watch that show without getting hammered is beyond me, right?
Wow.
So you were a drinker watching TV or that's, oh no, I was old school.
Like literally sit in the recliner and then my thing was the big Cuba ice and
then I would
pour it and it had to go up over the ice.
Right.
So it'd be like this much booze.
And I'd be like, I only had three.
And my knee would be like, they were like this big.
And I go, it's a home pour.
That's what I called it.
It's a home pour.
It's like, I'm making up for you.
Remember you go to those stupid hipster, like a whiskey bars.
They come up with the eye dropper and the guy's dressed like he just shoot a
horse.
It's like, what is this atmosphere?
What are you doing here?
Get the out of here with that.
Pour me a drink.
You get shot in the old West corner guy.
I drink like that.
You asshole.
Oh boy.
I love it, man.
Pour me a drink.
My baby's not teething.
You asshole.
Yeah.
So then it got to the point, right?
One night my wife goes, you're fucking getting hammered every night.
What's good?
She never gets up.
You know, what's going on?
Are you snoring?
I said, all right, you're right.
I'll lay off it.
She goes, all right, that's the last one.
Right.
And it was only two.
And I was like, you know, did you see that George and Tammy?
No.
He had this thing when he, he did this thing with his teeth.
She knew he was going to start drinking again.
So she tried to like distract him.
So I poured one more and I kind of waited since she was asleep.
And I'm literally walking down the fucking stairs into our bedroom.
And I got the fucking thing on this side.
And I'm trying not to make like these noises.
And I just sort of saw myself going like, dude, you're fucking.
This is where you're at.
This is where you're at.
So it was like 2018.
I was like, I'm going to just try to take 50 days off.
And then the holidays would come.
And I was like, you know, one time I took a year off.
Let me see if I can do that again.
And then I did it.
And I was like, well, I never did a January to December.
Cause I started in November.
Then I did that.
And I go, what about one calendar year birthday?
By then I was like a year and a half in.
And it's so fucking hard for me to quit.
It was just like, I don't want to go through quitting again.
So I just stopped.
And then I also liked the idea that my kids were never going to see me drunk.
Like that's not a good thing.
It's just like, I remember when I was growing up, my parents didn't drink.
And I thought they were such fucking nerds.
So maybe once in a while, my dad would have a beer or something.
But like, and I go some of my friend's house and they'd be Friday night.
And we'd go over to, you know, go out illegally drinking.
They would be like half in the bag.
Yeah.
And I'd be going like, man, these people are cool.
They're cool.
It's like, no, they, it was, they were, they were not, that's not a good
example.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
So even if it's the dad, like I got a friend who's the drunk.
I love you guys.
Could be your buddies.
I'm like, just because you are nice drunk with your kids.
Yeah.
Doesn't make it okay to be drunk.
Yeah.
Like it's, it makes it better though.
It does.
It does make it better.
Yeah.
It's not fucking dragging your palm down the stairs by your hair.
It's a little easier.
You know what I mean?
I had an Irish grandma would give you kisses when she got loaded.
Get over here.
And you're like, oh, here we go with the kisses.
So you're right.
I liked it with the whiskey.
I really did.
Yeah.
So you make a good point, Bill.
Oh my God.