Name: Bill Burr Explains Stock Car Racing To Lovely Nia
Uploaded: 2024-09-18T23:58:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Explains Stock Car Racing To Lovely Nia' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Explains Stock Car Racing To Lovely Nia' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-18. Transcript available.

One of the greatest things about stock car racing, okay, is what's going, the
level of
intellect in the pit versus across the racetrack sitting in the stands. That's
why I love going
to car races. And is that why people think that you're elitist or something? No,
because you got
these guys like what the they have to do because it's so regulated now just to
try to squeeze it
in a hundredth of a hundredth of a second to try and win this race. The level
of science,
physics and all that that's involved that these guys, the egghead that's going
on in there.
And then right across the track, it's just, I don't know. I went to the Indianapolis
500
two years in a row. I went to drag racing. Do you know, in between races, they
pull the
whole engine out and rebuild the whole goddamn thing in between races. There's
a whole team
of guys. Why?
I don't know why, because it matters that much. Everything has to be brand new,
like that cool
song you guys made up, right? Brand new. Everything, sorry. Everything has to
be brand new because
if it isn't, if it isn't a brand new engine, the amount of money that could
cost you, that
split second it cost you is a different, like six figures amount of money. Wait
a minute, wait a minute.
That's what they're doing when they stop and all the guys run over and they're
like...
No, no, no. In drag racing.
They're, they're changing the engine. I thought they were just like...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm like wiping off the windshield.
No. No. I'm not talking... I'm sorry.
Put some oil in something, maybe.
No, no. In that type of racing.
Gentlemen, stuck your edges.
That's right. Is that what you're talking about?
Hang one of those little air fresheners from the rear view mirror.
Right.
Um...
No, no, I'm talking about in drag racing.
Okay.
You know those long skinny cars with the big tires, then they got the parachute
comes out in the back.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
The engine sits behind the driver.
Hey, I've seen that, yeah.
They probably figured out to do that after years of them trying to see around
it.
Why do they have a parachute though? Don't they have brakes?
They do, but it's going 300 miles an hour.
Oh, so you need all the help you can get.
Yeah, and they don't have flaps to put it down, and you can't reverse the
engine like a plane.
I see.
And they're landing faster than a 747, but it doesn't weigh as much, but that's
all the physics.
Okay.
And it's also probably, if they stop quicker, they don't have to make as big of
a track,
and that saves the guy who owns the track money. All of this shit. All of this
nerdy egghead
shit. All right. Okay. So this is what white people do. They get on a dirt bike,
and they
figure out how to go off a ramp and flip in the air two times over, and they
land into foam,
and they figure out how to do that, and then they try to land. Yeah, we're
bored. We're bored.
White people need gangs again. Like, if you notice, like, white people...
I thought we weren't going to get into all this.
In the 20s.
Oh, my God, uh, uh, uh, uh.