Name: Bill Burr - Learns about Autism
Uploaded: 2024-12-02T00:24:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Learns about Autism' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Learns about Autism' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-02. Transcript available.

I might edit this out, but it's very relevant to things I've experienced in my
past that's
happening now. I think I will want to edit this out. You're an exotic dancer. I
was diagnosed
with autism five years ago. I'm being serious. I'm laughing seriously. That's f***ing
great.
And I've developed a lot. Let's go to Vegas. We'll win a bunch of money. I
could count. I could
count. I'm great at blackjack. You guys all count cards. Jews? Paris. Paris Casino
is double
deck. Paris Casino is double deck. It's fantastic. Point of pride is I've been
talked to by two
different pit bosses about it. They go, what's going on here? And I go, I don't
know what you
mean. I would have been. I couldn't resist. My ego would have been like, what's
going on
here? I'm your worst f***ing man. Right. That's the Ricky's on the loose
confidence. I am on
the spectrum of autism and I'm about ready to own your f***ing phony Eiffel
Tower out
there. All right. So let's say, okay. Um, I, I, so like when it comes to autism,
are you
an opener? Are you a middle act? Are you a, are you a headliner? I'm a grass. I'm
a
grass field. Grass field? Uh, tennis, the three tennis things. I don't remember
what you
said. Um, I guess opener. You're talking about like where, how far? Yeah. I
figured out
something, uh, uh, two weeks ago. Um, which basically, what the f*** is autism?
By the
way, all I know is you just, I guess we're keeping this in if this is what we're
talking
about. No, but you can't talk about it. Like everybody gets all like, you know,
I'm
on the spectrum and you're like, all right, well, what does that mean? And they
get like
all f***ing mad at you. Like, you know, I could explain it pretty easily. Okay.
Are you
sitting down? There are a lot of different character traits that people in the
autism
spectrum have. It doesn't mean they're autistic. Talking with your hands.
Talking with your
hands. Learning to be expressive. Um, not picking up on facial cues, uh, uh,
facial
recognition, uh, obsessive compulsive disorder, narrow focus, uh, nonverbal
difficulty adapting
to different situations, sensitive to sound smells. There's like a whole bunch
of things.
Right. And the idea of the spectrum isn't really, people think it's how far on
the spectrum,
like how f***ing autistic are you? Yeah. That's not what it means. How deep
does it go? The
spectrum is like, how metal are you? Right. That's not how it works though.
Okay. Like,
are you an 11? Uh, it is, it is, uh, to be diagnosed with autism, you have to
have four
or five of these traits that are on the autism spectrum at a certain level.
Like
everybody, everybody, you gotta be the total package. Gotta be the package.
Yeah. You gotta
be like the, not quadruple, not triple threat. No. What's five? Uh, so I know
super effect is
four. So I don't know. I just know jazz drumming. Quintet. Quintet. Quintet. Quintet,
Quintet, Quatro, Cinco. So some, probably something with an S. Siete. Yeah. So
if you have this-
Siete no bueno. Is it no good? That's, that's Spanish for, uh, a five threat. I
don't know what
the f*** I'm saying. I think that's seven. One of the things that I- What's in
this by the way?
Chicory root. Some type of sweetener. Cold brew coffee. Oat milk. And autism.
Oh man,
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm wondering if I'm, if I'm going to be insecure that I'm
talking about autism
stuff right again. Why? Because my point of bringing it up isn't to excuse any
behavior
or anything. It was to only to try to explain one little thing that one of the
things that
I've struggled with and I've gotten very good at, but it's still a thing is, is,
um, difficulty
understanding that people are thinking something different than me. Does that
make sense? Anything
I'm thinking- You're asking a comedian if I understand that? Of course I do.
Yeah. So-
That's most of my life. Like, how do you not f***ing see this the way I see it?
But you recognize
that they don't see it the way you see it. Yeah. When I don't get a laugh.
Right. Pretty hard not to
notice when an entire crowd doesn't laugh or they're looking at you or they
pull back.
But I always, I have the perfect response to it. Go ahead. What? That's all you
do. Yeah. You're,
you're just introduced doubt and you blame the victim. If I can say anything to
your listeners,
never take responsibility for your own actions. When you have the option of
blaming the victim,
dude, what the f***? Your clock says 10 or 6 right now. What is going on? Is
that part of autism?
Yeah. You gotta have, is that Israeli time?
10:45.
Are you a spy?
Uh, what time do you call the Musaad?
Just drink that. There's nothing in it.
Drink your coffee. I didn't do anything to it.
I'll walk out of here and not like Jesus anymore.
Oh my God. Uh, uh, uh, uh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.