Name: Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - How To Avoid Getting Trapped In A Horrible Job!
Uploaded: 2024-12-21T19:30:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - How To Avoid Getting Trapped In A Horrible Job!' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - How To Avoid Getting Trapped In A Horrible Job!' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-21. Transcript available.

Those crab fishing shows.
What's the worst job you had?
This is far as physically, like, I will kill myself before I'm 30 if I do this.
Out of high school, I worked on a, there was a Knights of Columbus Hall that
was having
a wheelchair ramp built, and I had to carry cement bags and pressure-treated
lumber every
day.
And I only lasted a little over two weeks, I think.
I lasted eight days, I was a gopher on a construction site, we were roofing in
June or July, and
I just remember having to bring up those, first of all, I bought the wrong
color shingles,
they wanted the ebony one, and this was off, I don't know what it was, so I had
to go all
the way back, unload the things I loaded on, load some more back, brought the
things back,
and I just remember, dude, it was just like, I never ate so much in my life,
like I'd eat
like three sandwiches, and like a half hour later, I'd be like starving, and
just weight
was just falling off of me.
I was just like, dude, this is insane.
But the thing was, if I hung in there for like a month, I would have got my sea
legs, but
I just was like, no, but I didn't have it, I knew it.
I always knew, like when I played drums and everything like that, as much,
every time I
thought I was getting good, I'd go into Guitar Center, and some eight-year-old
kid would
get on a kid, and I'd be like, holy fuck, like I would, it's like, dude, I
would pay
you to give me lessons, and it's just like, that when you, when, whatever you're
trying
to do, when you see like a kid come in, and he blows, I mean, blows you away,
it's just
like, it's just like, all right, I, I, this is, this is a hobby, Bill, this is
a hobby.
Well, I mean, working, doing construction is definitely not a hobby, it's just
brutal
back-baking labor.
But there's a gift, there's a, there's, there's a gift as far as like seeing
how things
go together, oh yeah, dude, there's an art to everything.
Oh, well there's an art to construction, for sure.
And there's the Louis C.K.'s of fucking contractors.
Oh yeah, no, I mean, as far as building houses, but I mean laboring, like
carrying bags of
cement, there's no art to carrying bags of cement.
But, no, but they, they would give me shit to do, like, you know, make this miter
cut
45, and I, I fucked the same cut up three times in a row, it was to frame a
doorjamb,
and I kept measuring to the inside of the corner, rather the outside of the
corner.
Remember, the third time I did it, my boss just looked at me, grabbed the wood,
and
he looked at me the whole time, walked up to the frame, and never, never took
his eyes
off me, and the frame was behind him, and he just stuck it to the fucking wall,
and just
stared at me.
I was so embarrassed, I was just like, oh god, dude.
He's like, dude, you're going, you went through like fucking $20 worth of stock
to make one,
one fucking cut, like, what are you doing here?
And I was just like, ugh.
And I was just, I didn't even pick up my check.
I didn't even pick up my check.
I drove up to the site, I, I, we worked Monday through Friday, and then Monday,
Tuesday,
Wednesday, I drove up to the site, and I just looked at it, and my body,
everything just
said, dude, fuck this, and I just kept driving.
He never called?
Why would he call me?
I'm the guy wasting lumber.
He doesn't give a shit.
He got free labor out of me, and I didn't give a fuck.
And, um, I forget what I did after that, but that was a rough time for me.
But, like, I always knew, like, if I didn't like a job and stuff like that, it's
like the
De Niro thing in, uh, what was that, the heat?
You got to be willing to walk.
At any moment, you got to be willing to fucking walk.
You got to know it's bad.
Yeah, that was it.
That was probably the toughest physical job that I had, and it was also a good,
it was
a good lesson, because it was a lesson that, like, if you work for somebody
else, and
you're just doing labor, you're just doing, just mindless labor, you don't have
any
time for anything else.
You think you got eight hours in a day, and there's still another 16, you'll
get shit done.
Uh-uh.
You're exhausted, you're fucking beaten down.
I would go to the gym, I'd try to work out, and I remember trying to hit the
bag, and
I just had nothing.
There was nothing there.
I'd never felt so tired in my life.
Yeah.
And I was only, like, 18.
I should have been full of piss and vinegar.
I was just dead.
And I remember, like, all my ambition wheels would just ramp it up.
I was like, okay, this is not my fucking future.
I got to figure out what the fuck I'm doing, because I had these delusions that
I was going
to become a carpenter.
I was like, well, I'll get in the union, I'll start building houses.
That's a good gig.
Which it is, you know?
If you're a good carpenter.
That's what I thought I was going to do.
Yeah, you know what?
It's a good gig if you're the guy telling the people to go build the fucking
house.
But if you're the guy out there pouring the forms, you've noticed that that's
mostly
young guys, like, that is a fucking young, even, like, landscaping.
Like, after a while, you've got to get a crew, and you've got to be the guy,
like, sending
the crews out, because there's only so long that you can just, like, I feel
like laborers,
they have, like, the same career trajectory as, like, a professional athlete.
Somewhere around 35 to 38, your body's going to be like, dude, I can't fucking
do this anymore.
You just break down.
There was a, I had a bulging disc in my neck, and I went to an MRI place, and
there was a
lady who went in before me.
A lady?
A lady.
And this lady, I was looking at different people's MRIs, and this lady had the
most fucking ridiculous
cartoon bulge of her disc.
Some poor woman who, I think she worked in a laundromat or something like that,
just carrying
baskets of clothes, and her back was just so fucked up.
And she was probably, like, 40 years old or something like that.
Came over your hair from, you know, Mexico or Guatemala or something.
And I remember looking at her back, like, this poor lady has no choice.
She has to go to work.
There's no way around this, and there's no jobs for her other than this.
You know, like, what, she can't speak English.
Like, she's got to do what the fuck she's got to do.
And she had...
Dude, you went into her chart, huh?
You started reading up on her.
It was right there.
It was just sitting up there on the screen.
And I asked the guy, I go, whose back is that?
He goes, it's hers.
I go, holy shit.
I go, does mine look that bad?
He goes, no.
He goes, that's bad.
He goes, that's bad.
It's real bad.
Like, she could barely walk.
Like, she had sciatica up and down her leg.
Oh, my God.
Uh-uh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.