Name: Bill Burr & Tim Dillon - Fireproof Houses: The Future of LA's Real Estate!
Uploaded: 2025-01-08T21:26:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Tim Dillon - Fireproof Houses: The Future of LA's Real Estate!' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Tim Dillon - Fireproof Houses: The Future of LA's Real Estate!' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-08. Transcript available.

Yeah, I think the new thing is going to be, it's not going to be to solve it.
It's going to be the fireproof house where you can fireproof house with the
infinity pool inside.
I like that.
So as you sit there and you watch people with less money than you burning to
death.
Right.
As you're tweeting, my heart breaks for people with less money than me.
You stay in there.
Yeah.
And once they're all gone, then you just sort of absorb.
Yeah.
I think we're going to go back to those massive ranches.
That guy, you know, like how that one guy owned Griffith Park, like he gave
that to LA.
Like one guy had all of that.
I think we're going to go back to that once people just sort of get, you know,
burned out or washed away by the sea.
It's very possible.
What's weird about LA is we do have a lot of homelessness, but all of our hit
shows are about real estate.
Like every show on Netflix, like selling Sunset and, you know, buying Beverly
Hills.
They just start dressing like absolute fucking whores.
They're hooks.
Whores.
Yeah.
No, no.
Dude, I watched one of that Orange County one.
This woman was selling a house.
She's got these beautiful tits.
Probably not real.
Right.
Dude, everything but her areola.
Yeah.
Her tits were out and then it plunged all the way down here.
And I'm just thinking like if a guy shows up with his wife.
Right.
Like that's a really weird thing where it's just, hey, what'd you think of that
house?
Hey, it looked great.
Yeah.
Tell me two details of that house.
Right.
And none of them know, like none of these, if you ask them what the taxes on
the house are, they have no idea.
Like they don't know any real estate questions.
They're just hot.
I'm sure they know.
But what I'm saying is.
They don't seem to know that much.
I would, those are the kinds of women you want to as a guy, if you're
successful, you want to stay away from.
Yeah.
Because they will, they will, they will take your life.
They'll eat you.
Yes.
Yeah.
They will eat you and then play the victim and cancel you.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, they're, they're well positioned.
Yeah.
Like look at, like when I was a kid, that right there, that was a movie star.
Right.
She was a movie star.
Now she sells houses.
She's selling a one level ranch with an open floor plan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How do you, how do you not buy the house?
The second you walk in there.
Well, and I think a lot of them are, are trading on the fact that they'll meet
rich guys.
And then perhaps, you know, they might marry those guys.
No, you know what I think it is?
I think it is that you never used to sell houses on TV.
Right.
And then what happened was probably all the ugly people got shamed out of that
business.
Right.
And then all of a sudden they would just, cause back in the day, stewardesses
were hot.
Right.
I think all the hot stewardesses are now selling houses.
They are not hot anymore.
They're not.
They look like me.
No, flight attendants look like they're.
That's not true.
I've seen some.
There's some of them are pretty, but some of them are weather.
No, if you get on, if you're, if you're on a, a, a, a mainstream airline flying
across
the country, that's seniority.
So there's going to be some miles on that one, right?
Yeah.
If you take a puddle jumper.
Yeah.
Instead of playing Denver, you're doing Colorado Springs.
Right.
Maybe Grand Junction.
Right.
That's where you get somebody who's cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But at that point, I'm 54.
So I can't look at her anyways.
Or else I'm a creep.
New York to LA or LA to New York, which is what I do a lot, is a lot of, it's a
lot of
older women.
You got hags.
Yeah.
Who've had it.
They've had it.
They've had it.
I've had it.
Yeah.
They've had it.
Yeah.
They're like, put the strap and they go, the seatbelt, they go, and the
shoulder strap.
Like as soon as I walk in.
They're like that comic that stopped writing jokes and he hates his act.
Right.
They just kind of keep doing it.
Keep rolling through.
But what's interesting about what you said about the fireproof house is that is
probably
going to be kind of a reality as stuff gets worse.
Nobody's going to want to.
Well, the sad thing is none of the politicians are in a position to turn on
corporations.
Right.
Because they're all grossly underpaid politicians and they do it because they're
supposed to
be public service.
But what you're really doing is it's so the rich people can have them in their
pockets.
They need them.
That's why, you know, the stuff that like those 24-hour news networks go after,
it's never,
you know, they're not going to go after like the big guys that feed them.
They go after, you know, stand-up comedians telling jokes.
Right.
You know, some guy, some guy, yeah, some guy slaps somebody at a mall.
Right.
What is this?
What is happening to the fabric of America?
Right.
And they just kind of.
They don't go after like Blackstone that buys all these houses now and pushes
the values
of them up.
And they've locked people out of renting.
Like they don't go after companies like that.
Like over the past.
Yeah, pharmaceutical companies.
Yeah, they don't go after that.
Selling like, you know, synthetic heroin.
That's all.
Killing hundreds of thousands of people.
Devastating families.
There's one.
That's no big deal.
But did you see what Tim Dillon said?
Right.
Right.
San Jose.
Yeah.
That's like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.