Name: Bill Burr & Jim Jefferies - Roast TF Outta Frenchman
Uploaded: 2025-01-24T01:15:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Jim Jefferies - Roast TF Outta Frenchman' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Jim Jefferies - Roast TF Outta Frenchman' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-24. Transcript available.

oh man i tell you what we invented lingerie so there lingerie lingerie all
right how can
you prove that do you have like an orville wilbur wright sort of picture of the
first
threesome i call it lafayette lafayette you tell me okay the original was the
original made out of
sticks or something he's the french version we invented the sneeze how do you
prove like that
he's called la wad middle g and i also brought michael jackson's uh chef used
to cook for michael
jackson yes cook for madonna brad pitt you know brad pitt credited her with it's
not angie joly
who he credits for changing his life it was her she cooked for him she got him
in shape for troy
she was his personal chef oh yeah that's true and you know i brought her here
because hopefully in
that movie she's single and hopefully she's gonna leave this studio not single
so and get you all in
shape so we're all looking we're all looking at anthony here anything we take
home michael jackson's uh
ex-chef and she's canadian to boot mj's ex-chef in the last few months of his
life is from montreal
oh wow wow wow and he was looking so healthy towards the end as well yeah that's
great for your
resume it's from cooking yeah that's really good for your resume i don't really
want to be credited
with that yeah leave that off did you ever see him with the nose off like just
the hole um like did you
ever see just the whole that's a great question like you know when you wake up
and you haven't
done your hair did he ever walk out without a nose i never saw that no but you
know it did snap off right
didn't i heard that rumor yes that's why they couldn't resuscitate him properly
you have to pinch
the nose oh man oh come on what's up jim that's fine he's a little gruff though
you know he's
there's a language barrier here you just yeah just listen to him well you know
there's no nose you
oppressor oh man oh the french guy's not happy with that french guy wait a
minute i like the french
i always think the french even when they speak in french seem like they don't
know their own language
they're always they're always halfway through a word and then they're like
i tell you it's all in the smell it's all in the smell you you you don't know
if you don't have
the scent of the woman ah yeah okay here the american woman why do they act
like they're the only ones
who are the ones who chicks
no no no they're too clean you see woman really really what he's right he's
like too clean here
love they're like you can't get like two sml characters from 1986 yeah yeah you
need the flavor
here they're too clean it's it's you go in there and it's like walking in a
hospital i'm sorry it
does not turn me on yep voila thank you oh so you're like a little bit of dirt
and a little bit
napoleon used to write to josephine saying i'll be home in three days from war
please don't wash oh really i like that too if your smells like a trench you
want the same from
her that's why he kept his hand in his jacket like that his fingers stunk that's
right because he kept
the smile for the whole month napoleon was like their gary coleman
he was so he was so short he just came up to her knees
that went down very well very well this microphone that's coming in from lou in
new york lou
yeah what's up guys hey real fast uh french guy um it sounds like your accent
kind of gets stronger
and weaker as uh as you're talking where are you actually from oh you're faking
i am from you know
where the other side yeah yeah so this is where are you from where are you from
i'm from paris
spice oh jesus uh now i'm from new york it's called it's called paris paris
frenchmen would never call
it paris they call it oh this is like that tarantino movie oh damn where do you
say germans do three
like this they don't do three like that they don't say paris they say parry
what you're from rhode island
yeah i'm from brooklyn new york blue why do you think he's faking it why a
little quick
he uses little words like i have a degree in linguistics i listen to that kind
of stuff but little
words that he says he changes the way that he says them different times like
little words like the
words uh um sometimes the r and the french like that french it changes yeah
that uh yes you have good
ears huh yeah what do you do i guarantee you're fake right guarantee it yeah
yeah you might be french you
might be from talk about paris what are some of your favorite things about paris
the eye for the
the women the women are amazing the women in paris what street do you live on
in paris
no no i live here main street i grew up in pigal which is the you know the moulin
rouge
yes yes right a little down and that's where i grew up it's great i actually
love that area
when did you when did you move away from france how many years 10 years so you've
only spoken english
for tenu i speak no i speak a lot of different languages so many french people
can learn english
at school europeans can all speak english before they move out that's not he
has she has an accent
from like all right we're all disagreeing let's hear him speak some french just
give us a bit
no custom out in french because this guy i lived in london too uh say some
dirty words in french and
cause i don't know for the shien de sa pute de sa mer je la prends je la retourne
oh yeah you just
put some french on your ass big boy that was hey hey nazi come in we'll cook
for you
anything you need fritz oh oh wow oh man wow the french is at least one of the
places that
resisted yeah who was here for you uh when you needed uh to bring the american
revolution that's
right that's right that's right so long ago before modern warfare no you know
what they're like
they're like they're like nasa they started off good yeah and then it's just
sort of petered out
just imagine a line you really did that imagine a line stunk that thing stunk
germans got behind
that you didn't even have your backs covered no they dug all those trenches and
then the airplane
was invented they just flew right over they flew over this giant defensive
perimeter set up with no
defense to the rear of it so if they ever got an enemy coming in on their rear
they're done for this
will never happen again no they will never be able to go through
the our dens really well it's true they get a little uh cocky huh but yeah a
little cocky do you find
french canadians just to be dicks like whenever i'm in like montreal i'm just
like this is the most
useless thing i've ever seen like what are people speaking french in canada for
yeah you get annoyed
that people from montreal yeah yeah when was the last time you were in montreal
they have issues with
that you know i got that once a year for the just for loves yeah yeah you know
andy nolman
french canadians aren't like french people right where do you hang out where do
you hang out in
montreal i think it's a catherine theater and why are we why yeah i'm from montreal
this is a conversation
for two people i'm from montreal why is everyone questioning where everyone's
been yeah because
we let's all just believe each other because you look like a guy you look like
a guy who falls
asleep in the strip club oh yeah you look like a guy who's very perceptive
that's just who i am what do you think of those dances there i'll tell you what
about i'll tell
you montreal best strippers in the world it's like the great looking strippers
plus you're allowed
to touch them all you want but i came i came from a culture where you couldn't
touch a strip you'd get
kicked in the head right and so uh the first time i had a girl in montreal give
me a lap dance and
then she kept on pulling my hands up to touch her i thought she was into me so
then i pushed the issue a bit further and it turned out that i did get kicked
out so an attempted rape in
a booth on my life did rape that's good did you ever bang a montreal stripper i
i have done yes i have
once but i've been there a few times how long did how long did it last i was
drunk i couldn't tell you
how long did it start all right come on be nice don't be don't be mean to her
what happened you
were in bed your head was in bed with jack waltz what happened how was it last
night utah i'm trying
to behave i can't you tell no no you you're much better whatever you say i
complain well it started
you were on your back and sleeping and then i came in from the island
brooklyn brooklyn and then easy i turn you over and that's when you woke up oh
you you go
french goes greek and you said something like this oh oh damn he's applying
that you had his penis
in your mouth yeah no that's actually you're out of your blair's cousin jerry
for the sense of life
thank god you shower yes just for you ah see oh yes the musky smell i don't
like a stinky
vagina i like a nice showered washed out one yeah no you you you chicken no no
you didn't you didn't
grow up in australia with the blazing heat have you seen a girl who's laid on
the beach for five
days with the sun pelting down on it that musty kill in cold weather it's okay
but not in the heat
they've got to wash out i don't like a tart tasting vagina like licking a
battery tip yes they say the
best per capita is in norway that really deserved a bigger laugh have you been
there i think scandinavian
pussy is the best looking pussy in the world they could eat butter pussy butter
i like pussy in the
sudan i would just say norway it put a stick in it no punch it i'll tell you
what that you go to sweden
and do a gig and it's just you you go to mcdonald's and it's like fucking claudia
schiffer's just there
serving it it's ridiculous ridiculous how hot the women are it's not just a
rumor it's like they're
killing all the ugly people but they were the last if you go outside of stockholm
that's where they
keep all their brunettes and ugly people they're like shun they make them go to
the mountains do
you know the swedes were the last people to give up on eugenics they were
sterilizing the disabled in
the eighties oh jesus you know in the eighties in the eighties they were seeing
down syndrome people
going get me a hammer for these testicles like they weren't killing them you
know they were doing
hitler's work is it safe to say i'm the only guy in this motherfucking studio
who's hit the home run
norway sweden finland denmark man i'd gigged in europe for a while i've
everyone in all those
countries is that what we're saying yeah yeah that's what he's saying what
about luxembourg what
about paying customers what about luxembourg i've all over europe mate yeah it's
the second time he's
tried to top them and he hasn't been able to i know he's going he's 0 for 2
when was the last time
you got late you look so frustrated well last time i got laid actually i can't
talk about this anymore
last time i came in the show i got dumped yeah yeah yeah yeah i gotta keep my
mouth shut who didn't
get laid here last night because i didn't get laid last night i think the rest
of the studio did it's a
bit it's a bit quiet here today i think most of us didn't no yeah why is it
safe to say his highness was
the only guy banging away last night he's the highness bill burr oh okay i didn't
understand yes
he's the highness because he's already lost there's only two guys who bang in
new york it's a-ron and his
highness yes yes i have i i'm not trying to top you i just have been lucky no
he's trying to top you
that's what i'm liking you've swatted it back twice oh you went up there you
have a bang of stripper
well yeah yeah is it safe to say i'm the only one who hit the home run actually
i came up and
uh back to back i've been all those places i i had a norwegian have you been to
luxembourg
he's reaching for straws there were six norwegian producers at the premiere
last night because i'm
pitching a film i'm planning on doing a film his highness and anthony do norway
i want to take
anthony on a road trip i like norweenies man you should go to norway with uh
yeah do you want to
do you want to do some tv i mean you look better on radio but do you want to do
you want to make it
wow that's a good one you gotta give him that one that's a good one you know
what yeah yeah i think
we'd be a great team i mean we used to spar man when are we gonna spar like i
will rent out madison
square garden and go one-on-one with you in boxing why do you want to park santa
what is he talking to
you i don't think i fight i just shoot people if they with me what's wrong with
just a local gym
why medicine square garden yeah as if that that fight's gonna sell out
would anyone here for a million bucks yes a million bucks there aren't many
girls i wouldn't
for a million bucks you for a million bucks that's the answer i love that
question yeah why not it's a
million bucks suggesting anyone in here has more that all right that adam's
apple on timber girls
always scared me a little rough oh my god uh uh uh oh

Bill Burr & Jim Jefferies - Roast TF Outta Frenchman

oh man i tell you what we invented lingerie so there lingerie lingerie all
right how can
you prove that do you have like an orville wilbur wright sort of picture of the
first
threesome i call it lafayette lafayette you tell me okay the original was the
original made out of
sticks or something he's the french version we invented the sneeze how do you
prove like that
he's called la wad middle g and i also brought michael jackson's uh chef used
to cook for michael
jackson yes cook for madonna brad pitt you know brad pitt credited her with it's
not angie joly
who he credits for changing his life it was her she cooked for him she got him
in shape for troy
she was his personal chef oh yeah that's true and you know i brought her here
because hopefully in
that movie she's single and hopefully she's gonna leave this studio not single
so and get you all in
shape so we're all looking we're all looking at anthony here anything we take
home michael jackson's uh
ex-chef and she's canadian to boot mj's ex-chef in the last few months of his
life is from montreal
oh wow wow wow and he was looking so healthy towards the end as well yeah that's
great for your
resume it's from cooking yeah that's really good for your resume i don't really
want to be credited
with that yeah leave that off did you ever see him with the nose off like just
the hole um like did you
ever see just the whole that's a great question like you know when you wake up
and you haven't
done your hair did he ever walk out without a nose i never saw that no but you
know it did snap off right
didn't i heard that rumor yes that's why they couldn't resuscitate him properly
you have to pinch
the nose oh man oh come on what's up jim that's fine he's a little gruff though
you know he's
there's a language barrier here you just yeah just listen to him well you know
there's no nose you
oppressor oh man oh the french guy's not happy with that french guy wait a
minute i like the french
i always think the french even when they speak in french seem like they don't
know their own language
they're always they're always halfway through a word and then they're like
i tell you it's all in the smell it's all in the smell you you you don't know
if you don't have
the scent of the woman ah yeah okay here the american woman why do they act
like they're the only ones
who are the ones who chicks
no no no they're too clean you see woman really really what he's right he's
like too clean here
love they're like you can't get like two sml characters from 1986 yeah yeah you
need the flavor
here they're too clean it's it's you go in there and it's like walking in a
hospital i'm sorry it
does not turn me on yep voila thank you oh so you're like a little bit of dirt
and a little bit
napoleon used to write to josephine saying i'll be home in three days from war
please don't wash oh really i like that too if your smells like a trench you
want the same from
her that's why he kept his hand in his jacket like that his fingers stunk that's
right because he kept
the smile for the whole month napoleon was like their gary coleman
he was so he was so short he just came up to her knees
that went down very well very well this microphone that's coming in from lou in
new york lou
yeah what's up guys hey real fast uh french guy um it sounds like your accent
kind of gets stronger
and weaker as uh as you're talking where are you actually from oh you're faking
i am from you know
where the other side yeah yeah so this is where are you from where are you from
i'm from paris
spice oh jesus uh now i'm from new york it's called it's called paris paris
frenchmen would never call
it paris they call it oh this is like that tarantino movie oh damn where do you
say germans do three
like this they don't do three like that they don't say paris they say parry
what you're from rhode island
yeah i'm from brooklyn new york blue why do you think he's faking it why a
little quick
he uses little words like i have a degree in linguistics i listen to that kind
of stuff but little
words that he says he changes the way that he says them different times like
little words like the
words uh um sometimes the r and the french like that french it changes yeah
that uh yes you have good
ears huh yeah what do you do i guarantee you're fake right guarantee it yeah
yeah you might be french you
might be from talk about paris what are some of your favorite things about paris
the eye for the
the women the women are amazing the women in paris what street do you live on
in paris
no no i live here main street i grew up in pigal which is the you know the moulin
rouge
yes yes right a little down and that's where i grew up it's great i actually
love that area
when did you when did you move away from france how many years 10 years so you've
only spoken english
for tenu i speak no i speak a lot of different languages so many french people
can learn english
at school europeans can all speak english before they move out that's not he
has she has an accent
from like all right we're all disagreeing let's hear him speak some french just
give us a bit
no custom out in french because this guy i lived in london too uh say some
dirty words in french and
cause i don't know for the shien de sa pute de sa mer je la prends je la retourne
oh yeah you just
put some french on your ass big boy that was hey hey nazi come in we'll cook
for you
anything you need fritz oh oh wow oh man wow the french is at least one of the
places that
resisted yeah who was here for you uh when you needed uh to bring the american
revolution that's
right that's right that's right so long ago before modern warfare no you know
what they're like
they're like they're like nasa they started off good yeah and then it's just
sort of petered out
just imagine a line you really did that imagine a line stunk that thing stunk
germans got behind
that you didn't even have your backs covered no they dug all those trenches and
then the airplane
was invented they just flew right over they flew over this giant defensive
perimeter set up with no
defense to the rear of it so if they ever got an enemy coming in on their rear
they're done for this
will never happen again no they will never be able to go through
the our dens really well it's true they get a little uh cocky huh but yeah a
little cocky do you find
french canadians just to be dicks like whenever i'm in like montreal i'm just
like this is the most
useless thing i've ever seen like what are people speaking french in canada for
yeah you get annoyed
that people from montreal yeah yeah when was the last time you were in montreal
they have issues with
that you know i got that once a year for the just for loves yeah yeah you know
andy nolman
french canadians aren't like french people right where do you hang out where do
you hang out in
montreal i think it's a catherine theater and why are we why yeah i'm from montreal
this is a conversation
for two people i'm from montreal why is everyone questioning where everyone's
been yeah because
we let's all just believe each other because you look like a guy you look like
a guy who falls
asleep in the strip club oh yeah you look like a guy who's very perceptive
that's just who i am what do you think of those dances there i'll tell you what
about i'll tell
you montreal best strippers in the world it's like the great looking strippers
plus you're allowed
to touch them all you want but i came i came from a culture where you couldn't
touch a strip you'd get
kicked in the head right and so uh the first time i had a girl in montreal give
me a lap dance and
then she kept on pulling my hands up to touch her i thought she was into me so
then i pushed the issue a bit further and it turned out that i did get kicked
out so an attempted rape in
a booth on my life did rape that's good did you ever bang a montreal stripper i
i have done yes i have
once but i've been there a few times how long did how long did it last i was
drunk i couldn't tell you
how long did it start all right come on be nice don't be don't be mean to her
what happened you
were in bed your head was in bed with jack waltz what happened how was it last
night utah i'm trying
to behave i can't you tell no no you you're much better whatever you say i
complain well it started
you were on your back and sleeping and then i came in from the island
brooklyn brooklyn and then easy i turn you over and that's when you woke up oh
you you go
french goes greek and you said something like this oh oh damn he's applying
that you had his penis
in your mouth yeah no that's actually you're out of your blair's cousin jerry
for the sense of life
thank god you shower yes just for you ah see oh yes the musky smell i don't
like a stinky
vagina i like a nice showered washed out one yeah no you you you chicken no no
you didn't you didn't
grow up in australia with the blazing heat have you seen a girl who's laid on
the beach for five
days with the sun pelting down on it that musty kill in cold weather it's okay
but not in the heat
they've got to wash out i don't like a tart tasting vagina like licking a
battery tip yes they say the
best per capita is in norway that really deserved a bigger laugh have you been
there i think scandinavian
pussy is the best looking pussy in the world they could eat butter pussy butter
i like pussy in the
sudan i would just say norway it put a stick in it no punch it i'll tell you
what that you go to sweden
and do a gig and it's just you you go to mcdonald's and it's like fucking claudia
schiffer's just there
serving it it's ridiculous ridiculous how hot the women are it's not just a
rumor it's like they're
killing all the ugly people but they were the last if you go outside of stockholm
that's where they
keep all their brunettes and ugly people they're like shun they make them go to
the mountains do
you know the swedes were the last people to give up on eugenics they were
sterilizing the disabled in
the eighties oh jesus you know in the eighties in the eighties they were seeing
down syndrome people
going get me a hammer for these testicles like they weren't killing them you
know they were doing
hitler's work is it safe to say i'm the only guy in this motherfucking studio
who's hit the home run
norway sweden finland denmark man i'd gigged in europe for a while i've
everyone in all those
countries is that what we're saying yeah yeah that's what he's saying what
about luxembourg what
about paying customers what about luxembourg i've all over europe mate yeah it's
the second time he's
tried to top them and he hasn't been able to i know he's going he's 0 for 2
when was the last time
you got late you look so frustrated well last time i got laid actually i can't
talk about this anymore
last time i came in the show i got dumped yeah yeah yeah yeah i gotta keep my
mouth shut who didn't
get laid here last night because i didn't get laid last night i think the rest
of the studio did it's a
bit it's a bit quiet here today i think most of us didn't no yeah why is it
safe to say his highness was
the only guy banging away last night he's the highness bill burr oh okay i didn't
understand yes
he's the highness because he's already lost there's only two guys who bang in
new york it's a-ron and his
highness yes yes i have i i'm not trying to top you i just have been lucky no
he's trying to top you
that's what i'm liking you've swatted it back twice oh you went up there you
have a bang of stripper
well yeah yeah is it safe to say i'm the only one who hit the home run actually
i came up and
uh back to back i've been all those places i i had a norwegian have you been to
luxembourg
he's reaching for straws there were six norwegian producers at the premiere
last night because i'm
pitching a film i'm planning on doing a film his highness and anthony do norway
i want to take
anthony on a road trip i like norweenies man you should go to norway with uh
yeah do you want to
do you want to do some tv i mean you look better on radio but do you want to do
you 