Name: Bill Burr - Bert Kreischer Had No Idea She Was a Hooker!
Uploaded: 2025-04-09T21:17:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bert Kreischer Had No Idea She Was a Hooker!' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Bert Kreischer Had No Idea She Was a Hooker!' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-09. Transcript available.

there's no place to do them I used to do a bit like looking into a wild animals
eyes is the same
like it's like looking at like locking eyes with the hook like a street walking
hook like it's it's
the real deal it's going down if you want it it's not some chick teasing you're
trying to get a free
drink is happening you know you'll see some mean dog in your neighborhood he'll
bite your leg or
something like that like those things will eat you yeah we uh I had a hook
proposition me in Vegas
one time I mean without blaming the hook with without a doubt the most
beautiful woman I mean
just oh that's a call girl or that's a fresh hook is a it was a call girl and I
think they're outside
the elements so they they age like I do in the sun she was a call girl she
probably got sent to the
casino uh guy crapped out or got too drunk passed out she lost the money she
was on the floor trying
to make some money back up she came down it was me and my buddy Eddie and she
was like uh what are you
guys doing tonight and we were like I was just hanging out we're like wow she's
talking to us
this is like fresh out of college right you must have saw the show yeah I was
like uh we're just
hanging out you know and she's like you guys want to party tonight we're like
yeah she's like let's go
get a drink and we were like okay so we started walking to go to the drink she
was like so who's
me tonight and we're like and I'm looking at Eddie and we're like I uh either I
I don't know who you
attracted to she goes it doesn't matter and we were like doesn't matter she was
like yeah 1500 bucks
and this is back like not saying that I would spend 1500 bucks on post but I
really didn't have 1500
bucks at all so the idea of 1500 bucks was like more money than I had like ever
had planned like 1500
bucks I could get a boat for that yeah tomorrow I'd still have the boat I don't
understand what's
happening here dude don't you wish you said that 1500 bucks I could buy a boat
oh I could get a used Honda shadow 750 it burns oil but I mean I can second
with with the helmet I could
get that for under a grand oh do you ever hear Jim Norton's joke we had a call
girl come to his
house and she goes five grand and he goes five grand do I get to keep your head
well here's my question when she said the drink when you went up who paid for
the drink
oh we stopped in between slot machines and we were like excuse me she's like
1500 bucks which one of
you and we were like but you're a prostitute she was like oh you guys and just
walked away and we're
like wait wait this is going away too quick hold on start it over we're from Tallahassee
you
yelled that in the casino don't leave wait a minute you're a prostitute she's
like keep it down over
well wait a minute cocaine is illegal
couple of rubes oh casino in Vegas oh my god oh that same trip we went to uh we
went to the strip club
and we were with i forget the guy we were with and uh he comes down with
oh geez olympic gardens and so we the guy sits down to the thing he goes he
looks at my buddy eddie
and he goes uh i think that chick's into me and we were like really and he was
like yeah she let me
lick her nipples and he goes if she let you lick her nipples he's probably let
everyone lick her nipples
he looks at his watch he goes it's three in the morning how many people you
think licked her nipples
before you and the guy's like oh it's so gross oh i like too that she let him
do that and then he goes
i think she's into me like how low self-esteem does he have i think you're kind
of in there if you're
licking the nipples i think you're kind of uh i'd say that there's definitely
uh an attraction there
oh that's that guy eddie used to make me laugh so hard only because like you
ever have one of those
kids that you grew up with that you knew your whole like growing up through
college or high school
and there were there were you were raised on the same kind of values so certain
things that you'd meet
a new person and they'd bring in their values and then they'd leave and you
guys would commiserate
and go oh that guy like i remember i remember a guy told us a story and he
about hey he was at we
had a party and he was like yeah and then the next morning he's like it was
great man i met this chick
in the in the back and then she took me out in the back and i just threw up
against a trash can it was
awesome it was like i was i just pulled my pants down i just started railing
her and he left and eddie
just right where my brain was right there eddie looked at me and he goes not
once did he say put
on a condom
i was like that's what i was thinking uh but who would say that i don't know
but two kids from
and i took out a condom yeah i'm dead it was able to maintain my erection
despite the temperature
outside oh oh my god uh uh uh oh oh oh oh oh