Name: Bill Burr Roasts Dumb Movie Characters
Uploaded: 2025-05-11T20:40:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Roasts Dumb Movie Characters' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Roasts Dumb Movie Characters' from Comedy University on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-11. Transcript available.

we'll put it on here it's like with every sequel forgets everything they
learned in the previous
ones like with jaws each time they're denying there's a shark you know by after
after like
10 times you'd have to say yeah there is a shark and yes we should close down
the beach
and absolutely we need a bigger boat they'd in the sequels they'd be going out
in a little motorboat
to fight this shark if you had one interaction with a 25 foot great white shark
you would go
nowhere near the ocean for the rest of your life yes yeah i take a plane off
that island
and i'd live in the desert somewhere you know my favorite one as far as not
learning from the
previous movie was the character was the character uh private hooks in the
police academy movies
every episode and she's always this weak mousy don't live and then in the end
she would always
be like don't move dirtbag and the whole place would go nuts that she finally
found her voice
and was like tough and then the next movie she'd be mousy again yeah yeah the
only guy that watched all
eight of those oh no i saw those in the death wish movies charles bronson would
always forget at the
beginning of the beginning of the movie that he's a vigilante and he'd be he'd
be working a nine to five
job and only until his girlfriend or somebody knows was raped and killed then
he'd remember oh yes
the lante and i'd go out and kill people it was unbelievable every single time
they got raped and killed
everywhere he went and he kept moving to new places it's like how about you don't
live in a city
why don't you try going out in the country this time at least you can see the
coming up your long driveway you can meet one of those farmers only chicks they're
probably good with a gun
and it's like when you'd watch the later death wish ones then it was like will
somebody get ready
and killed already so he could get into action here oh my favorite line i swear
to god that movie was all
one takes every setup was one tape absolutely i like when he dude there was
such a low budget by the
third or the fourth one i remember he came me and my buddy used to make fun of
this he came walking up
and there's like all these you know puerto rican kids he's like spraying on his
veto white cadillac seville
and they were writing all this crap and he was just like what are you doing and
i'm like what do you care
honky mother and then he just goes it's my car like literally that was the
delivery it was just like
it's like are they workshopping this and in that same one that was three in
that same one my favorite
scene is he of course gets a girlfriend and uh she's in her car and one of the
like thugs punches her
knocks her out and then like uh hits the the brake and she starts rolling
downhill
and speeding and and the car hits in another car of course explodes and giant
flames are shooting up
brunson walks over and then just turns around and walks away i mean not even
trying to react
you know like and and you could practically it's like you could practically
hear the director go okay
uh walk now turn around and come back here like they were directing the door
and i know that younger
people are going like well why did you watch all of these it's like there wasn't
a netflix back then
like i watched all the porkies i watched all the friday the 13th all the death
wishes all the police
academies all the jaws like all the freddy kruegers and you just be sitting
there going this sucks this is
this is number seven is so much worse than number four or whatever and you just
had nothing to do there
was you know there's just nothing to do you just sat there watching these awful
sequels one after another
and i would watch all the crappy horror films like the zero budget all the slasher
films that had their own
you know they weren't friday the 13th or halloween they were their own like
they each one was making
same exact plot in each one something bad happened years ago
10 years later
and and it's always like uh if if you had sex in the movie you were dead oh
yeah that was a big one
anybody who had sex was dead anybody taking a shower was dead anybody going to
check something out i'm
gonna go check the garage real quick i'm gonna go check that out i'm gonna go
by myself to check the
garage where all the lights are out yeah but you know what's crazy is that you
watch that in a movie
and you go why would you go by yourself how the other day i'm walking back by
my house and i go
i'm gonna go out in the alley and bring the stuff in from the alley and then i'm
thinking
in a horror movie this is where i've died but i have no fear in the moment
oh another person who dies in those if you make a joke if you're a jokester
and uh you're laughing at it when other people are scared then you're the next
one to go you actually
get a worse death you've got an extra bad death but not believing in this
stupid character that they
came up that they're gonna milk for another six movies i i remember there was
one i forget the name
of it like you know the impaler the slicer or something like that and i always
loved the blurb for it
on the poster the slogan and it said uh by knife by axe by pick bye bye
wow wow bam bam bam bam bam bam bam boop boop boop boop boop boop oh my god uh
uh uh uh