Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / That Was 55 Years Ago, Babe (Full Episode 169)
Uploaded: 2022-08-10T15:04:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / That Was 55 Years Ago, Babe (Full Episode 169)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / That Was 55 Years Ago, Babe (Full Episode 169)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-10. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / That Was 55 Years Ago, Babe (Full Episode 169)

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Pre-rolls in the books.
Now it's time for Killer Lightning Strikes.
Did you miss one?
No, that was four.
You did Athletic Greens?
What, did you just black out or something?
I zoned out.
I mean, you were like, seemed like you were enjoying it.
But no, those were four.
We were going to get in trouble for Papa Roman.
We can edit that out.
Or we could have.
Now you just did it.
Again.
We can't.
We're on video.
You can still edit.
We're making life tougher on poor Aaron back there.
But I'm excited for our conversation about Killer Lightning Strikes,
intentional car crashes,
and Pete Rose all coming up in a sporty episode 169 of the Jesselnick and Rosenthal
Vanity Project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
In a world full of copies.
Be an original.
Is it playing?
You were supposed to play it.
You know, episode two back in the studio, it's like we're too comfortable now.
You know, I wasn't as on point as last week when I forgot I'm like on the soundboard
here.
A lot of things went wrong there.
A lot of things went wrong.
We, we, uh, I blanked out during the pre-rolls.
I was laughing.
You, you're very professional.
It was fun to see.
Uh, missed the Athletic Greens one entirely.
It's fine.
I was focused on.
There's been many before.
Papa Roman is a character I play who's like, almost like Papa Smurf, but he's
Papa Roman.
That's a me thing.
We're not saying you should pop a Roman like you would pop, you know, a mint.
So Roman can't get mad.
And then Greg did like the finger thing to, if you're not, if you're watching,
if you're
not watching, you're just listening.
Greg like pointed to Aaron, like now hit the music, not knowing that Greg is in
fact the
DJ on this show.
I mean, uh, most people are listening, although a lot of people are watching.
We appreciate all our new, uh, YouTube viewers definitely got more than I
expected in the
first week.
I mean, we're still an audio first podcast, but your subscriber count on
YouTube is going
up.
We got a lot of comments about how my shirt looked bad.
We won't get that this week.
Uh, I'm looking great.
Yeah, you are looking great.
That Miz in the main 10 years old.
You can tell.
Um, yeah, people liked the, people liked seeing it in a video.
We were, we were like totally washed out.
Liz had lots of notes.
I brought in Liz.
We taped it on Tuesday.
I brought in Liz Thursday to come into the studio and give Aaron a hard time.
Aaron was very nice, very polite to Liz while she just trashed everything about
his life
and this place.
She was like, why is, why?
And I agree with all her notes.
She was like, first of all, let's put gels on the lights.
We looked washed out.
We looked very pale and we are very pale.
So we need all the help we can get with the lights.
All Things Comedy got those immediately.
Aaron was like, I'm on it and got gels.
Aaron, has anyone else used the gels yet?
Uh, two shows.
Okay.
Yeah.
See, when we do things, when we like make things better, we don't just do it
for ourselves.
We do it for the entire company.
Everyone who records a podcast now gets to benefit from my gels.
I gave them these gels.
We didn't pay any money for them.
All Things Comedy did.
I think all the notes we're going to have for the studio are going to be notes
that benefit
everyone, that benefit Eddie Pepitone as much as they benefit Greg Rosenthal.
That's our motto.
When I think Anthony Jessen, like I think team player, like always gets along
well with others.
I mean, just look at our days at Comedy Central.
I'm a man of the people.
I want, I tell you what else I want.
I want a, and this is when I say what I want, it's what Liz suggested and I was
like,
She's like a professional photographer though.
So she's kind of a tough critic here with the whole lighting and all that stuff.
Of course, of course.
And Aaron knew that.
Aaron was like, yes ma'am, no ma'am.
Thank you for your, this advice.
I can't do any of these things, but I can get gels.
But we want, like Liz wanted me to switch with Greg.
We're on split screen this week instead of just going back and forth.
So you can see me react to Greg and Greg react to me.
It's going to be fun.
But Liz was like, Anthony, you should be in the other side because that's your
better angle.
I didn't know that.
I thought I was the same, but I've got one angle that looks better.
But, but if I go to that side behind me is the garbage wall.
If you go into the all things comedy studio, there's one wall.
There's just garbage.
There's just fucking plywood.
It's just shit wood vertical.
And they put an all things comedy sign over, like that's going to fix anything.
And the other wall is magnificent.
The other wall is majestic.
It's got two curtains.
You can go red or you can go black.
So Liz thought I should have the curtain behind me as opposed to the better
angle.
Greg gets the shit wall.
I get the majestic.
I mean, what makes one side of your face any different than the other?
I got a big honking like mole with hair growing out of it on one side.
So that makes sense that one side would be better, but it looks the same.
It's my hair.
It's where the colics are.
Listen, I didn't understand, but Liz said it.
So it's gospel.
But we did come in here.
We got the gels.
Listen, if you-
I'd like to promise to our audio listeners, though, that like, we're not just
going to
talk about the video podcast here.
I mean, the audio listeners are who got us here.
We're not just going to be talking about the video for the next like three
years here.
That's all I'm saying.
Why do you try to like to kind of speak to the audio listeners only by
screaming?
You're so loud that the audio listeners are like, I'm going to watch it on
YouTube
because it's less taxing on my ears.
Watch it on YouTube just to see Greg's mole.
You're not, you're not, you don't get to see the mole if you're listening to it,
the podcast.
But, and listen, look for the split screen.
Maybe we keep it next week.
Maybe we don't.
But I want my, I want my V desk for all things comedy.
And I want a curtain for the other wall.
We'll see.
We'll see what happens.
Otherwise people liked it.
People liked seeing your reacts and just how like sort of delighted you are by
everything
I say.
Mm-hmm.
Just a couldn't, over the moon is what we say.
Do you not want to know where my quote's from?
My quote this week?
I mean, it was so basic.
I thought it was just one of those like that you Googled.
Listen, there's nothing basic about in a world full of copies being original.
Um, I looked up badass quotes and that was number one under 20 short badass
quotes.
That was the first one.
You know who said it?
They didn't either.
They didn't know that's how badass it is that they didn't even want to say
their name.
But I thought, let me use that this week.
So I was right.
It was just a generic, um, a generic badass quote.
You can do better.
Google badass quotes.
There were a bunch of them, but this was my favorite because it was first.
Therefore the most badass.
Um, a little changes to the studio.
I mentioned that I can't find coffee in Burbank.
That's a, that's going to be a problem moving forward.
I looked for it.
I typed in Starbucks, went there.
It was in a hospital.
No one's going to that Starbucks.
You came in, yeah, grumbling.
Not in a good mood.
Not getting full energy Jessalyn.
Went to a different Starbucks.
It was closed for remodeling.
What the fuck?
Starbucks.
Liz is out of town.
Liz went out of town yesterday.
This explains a lot.
Out of town for a week.
Uh, almost fell apart immediately.
And like a rummy went away.
Rummy's on another vacation.
A two day vacation left this morning and Liz is gone.
And then my first thought was, should I get drunk?
Like the fact that I had this podcast today at five o'clock is the only reason
I'm not drinking.
Almost just pissed away a hundred days of sobriety.
Uh, just for, just because I'm left alone to my own devices.
I don't know.
We'll, we'll, we'll see what happens.
I went to the gym today and just like, it was like, I forgot how to go to the
gym without, if I'm not going with this.
You guys go together?
We go together.
We don't work out together, but it's like, we go there, we're there for an hour.
We meet up, we leave.
Um, I mean, I'm here for you.
You know, you, the God kids are around their last week of a summer vacation.
If you need any grounding during the week, the Rosenthal's are only a drive
away.
Maybe, maybe I do that if I really hit rock bottom, but I've got, I've got a
show at the improv tomorrow night and then I've got the rest of the week off.
So I've got to at least stay sober tonight.
Probably not going to stay sober tomorrow, but we'll see what happens.
So it's ending.
The, the, the hundred day plus is ending.
I don't know.
This week.
I've never questioned it until this week.
And like, and when I say this week, I mean, since Rummy got in the car and
drove away, uh, I've been,
I've been considering it just for like something to do just for something.
That's always the best reason.
I, I was thinking actually when we left that dinner with our friend, Mike, a
couple of weeks ago, we were both sober.
Didn't have a, any alcohol at dinner.
Neither of us were stoned.
Um, I haven't had the instinct lately since my family got back home after maybe
hitting a little too hard while they were gone, uh, to get stoned, uh, which is
a different instinct for me.
I always, I always like, I'm looking for the time to do it.
Like the time when, when it makes sense.
But now the season starting my NFL season, that is, I got the kids.
I just like got a lot going on.
They just paid me all that money over at the NFL.
It's like, now it's time to go earn it.
Are we getting like more old?
I want, I don't want to say mature.
Cause I'm not like giving up weed.
I just like to sort of don't feel like I have time for it, or it's going to get
in the way of doing the stuff I need to get done.
Are we like getting old Anthony?
I don't know if it's a thing about getting old.
I think it's just, you're just, you're sick of weed.
You've been hitting it so much.
You're just like, because we're in our like mid forties, we don't care as much
about weed.
Cause I've gotten back into weed over the past like week, maybe I hadn't smoked
at all during this hundred days.
And the last week I'm like, you know what?
I can hit this little vape pen every now and again.
Cause Liz hasn't been smoking at all.
And, uh, since I quit drinking and I've like liked it and I haven't been like
stupid.
I get up in the morning, I take care of my business, but at night I'm ordering
food.
I'm ordering food in a way that I hadn't been for three months that I'm like,
ca