Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Let The Curls Shine (Full Episode 171)
Uploaded: 2022-08-24T19:23:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Let The Curls Shine (Full Episode 171)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Let The Curls Shine (Full Episode 171)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-24. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Let The Curls Shine (Full Episode 171)

Oh yeah, three pre-rolls this week, starting with Viori.
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Anthony.
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That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash J-R-V-P.
You'll get 20% off and free shipping on U.S. orders over $75.
You should wear it into the studio next week, Anthony.
Freshly, we'd bring that into the studio.
Make summer dinner stress-free with Freshly.
Right now, get $125 off your first five orders at Freshly.com slash J-R-V-P.
That's $125 off at Freshly.com slash J-R-V-P.
I think it would help.
I think it would help the All Things Comedy studio to have some Freshly around.
Finally, when the moment for intimacy arrives, you need to be ready, Roman
ready.
Go to GetRoman.com slash J-R-V-P today.
If approved, you'll get $10 off your first order.
That's GetRoman.com slash J-R-V-P.
Three pre-rolls so good, they should be paying me extra.
But not as good as the baby-themed store catering to adults.
A reverse coffin flop, and Anthony on ASMR, all coming up on episode 171 of the
Jesselnick and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
J-R-V-P.
Junior Vice President.
Young Gunners in Beast Mode.
Canine Teeth Show.
Cheat Code.
Playing with unlimited free throws.
Do you recognize those lyrics?
I don't, but I like, like, you put your back into that one.
Yeah, I could hit that one.
That was, like, so real.
Yeah.
No, what was that?
That was Cheat Codes.
That was the Danger Mouse and Black Thought.
Oh, yeah.
From last week.
Did you listen?
I haven't enough.
I haven't.
I did, but not enough, I admit.
Okay.
Okay.
It's a bad job.
Sometimes you forget.
I did one time through, but that's it.
I just, I keep listening to the same shit over and over again.
I've been, like, dying for an album all summer.
Like, Droog puts out something every, like, two weeks.
But other than that, I'm just, I'm waiting for something.
I've been waiting for this album all summer.
And now I'm, like, listening to it on repeat, and I need something new again.
But I love it.
You're, like, uh.
The new Droog is great, too, though.
Okay.
The, um.
Yachty Dangerfield, I think it's called.
Yeah, it's great.
I mean, he had a whole theme with it.
Um.
When we saw the live show.
Mm-hmm.
He had the hair.
He had it all.
That was Yacht Stewart.
Oh, that's right.
This is the new album since then.
Yeah.
It's hard to keep up.
It is.
What's up?
You know, how's, uh.
You know, your life with Liz back.
You, like, are glowing now.
Your hair looks better.
Your beard is trimmed, just like you seem.
Already, I can tell you're happier since you've returned.
I mean, I went back to the gym.
My, like, week of rest and relaxation and not going to the gym is over.
I've been eating healthy again.
Going to the gym.
Went and got a haircut.
Got Liz's haircut.
I took her to my lady.
I took her to Shin.
And, uh, and took her apart.
She got short hair now.
Damn, that doesn't sound, uh.
I mean, took her apart sounds, like, unhealthy.
Just look at a different person in a good way.
Like, you're going to-
I couldn't afford your hairdresser.
Like, I went to your hairdresser, but, like, I couldn't afford her.
So, got a cheaper one at your hairdresser.
And even she was too expensive for me.
Yeah.
And I moved on.
I mean, you're on TV.
You should pay a lot of money for your haircut.
My woman, I've been with-
Her price has gone up over the years.
Uh, it's, like, triple what it was when I've started seeing her.
But if you're-
If you're-
Like, women want to get their hair cut short, but they go to just some random
fucking person
at your father's mustache or whatever.
And, uh, and it looks like shit.
But if you go to something, like, the best person ever-
Your father's mustache?
That was the name of the store in the mall near my house that I used to go to
when I was
a kid, and it sucked.
Your father's mustache.
There were hair cutting salons or stores in the mall in Japan that were six
bucks, and
they looked pretty good.
And I was like, I just want to go to get a six dollar haircut and see what that's
like.
I bet it'd be fine, but I didn't.
All of my agents, like, who have, like, dress in, like, three-piece suits all
the time,
have, like, Ferraris for cars, they get, like, six dollar haircuts, but they
get it
cut, like, every week.
They go to the same place and get it done.
I mean, if you know what you want that way, great.
But I like to get my hair cut once a month, and when it grows in, I want it to
look great.
Like, it's just as good as it did when I walked out of there.
But Liz was- Liz was very happy.
I mean, you literally said the phrase before we started.
I got- because when I commented on your haircut, let the curls shine.
And you don't have any curls.
And that's not a saying.
Is that a saying?
Yeah.
Let the curls shine.
I have curly hair.
I can let the curls shine.
My hair is looking good these days.
I'm paying less, and it's better.
My hair does get curly if I grow it really long, which I haven't done since
college.
But I don't say hairdresser.
I say haircut lady.
And I know that's ridiculous to say, but hairdresser sounds weird.
Hairdresser, I feel like I'm, like, sitting under, like, one of those buckets
that, like,
blow dries your hair for, like, an hour.
But they do do all that stuff.
They probably wash your hair for the amount you're paying, I'm sure.
They would.
I always say no.
I get a hot washcloth.
I wipe my head so it gets all the hairs out.
And then I just go home and shower later.
I don't want to sit there and get my hair washed.
I don't need that.
Because I wash it before I go in.
How often a week do you wash your hair?
How many times a week?
Three.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm probably at two.
I'm probably at two.
I like to wait.
I try to time it so that I'm not on camera that day because it doesn't look
good the day you wash it.
But today, you know, I broke that rule.
The whole day?
I did wash it.
I'm just saying my hair, I would say it looks better when it's, like, a day out
or two days out.
But I don't like to go.
How long do you think it's been since I washed my hair?
And this is for the video people only.
If you're listening to this on audio, you don't know what the fuck we're
talking about.
This is a ridiculous conversation, but I feel like this is what happens.
People want to hear me talk about my hair.
How long has it been since you've washed your hair?
Three.
I mean, it looks pretty clean to me.
A couple days.
An hour.
Okay.
I washed it before I came in here.
Yeah.
I look great.
I don't need to give it a day after I have it.
But that, you know, it lets the oils really get in there.
Then the curls come out.
It looks a little more natural, you know?
Got to let the curls shine.
I can't believe we're still talking about it.
There is something about being in the studio back together.
And you're right.
Everyone should be watching us on YouTube along with listening to us in your
ears.
You should do both.
Because we found out that, like, it all counts.
It's all beautiful.
And you have a subscribe.
You know, you can subscribe to Anthony's channel on YouTube unless you have an
NFL-sanctioned computer
in which I found out all of JRVP is banned on my computer.
I can't get it.
It's restricted.
And I try to turn the restricted mode off, and it just goes right back on to
restricted.
Fucking Goodell.
You know, what I find people, like, should do is the podcast comes out Tuesday
night, Tuesday afternoon.
Right.
Because we're taping it earlier this week.
And then the video comes out Wednesday.
Wednesday night, yeah.
So listen to it.
Listen to it.
Take in all the humor.
Take in all the jokes.
Take in all the information about my hair and lack of curls.
And then watch it on video to double-check.
Make sure we're not getting away with anything.
Right.
And if you're super into the videos, just wait till Wednesday nights.
That'll be the schedule.
Check out Anthony's page again on YouTube.
I don't know how to subscribe to things.
Like, I'm not—
Just press subscribe.
There'll be an option.
I don't know if I've even signed into YouTube.
Like, I just look at what my page is doing, but I don't look forward to it.
Well, then you can't give a thumbs up.
I've been known to occasionally go into the comments and just see one comment.
I find the light.
I'll give it a little thumbs up from Greg Rosenthal.
I never give thumbs up or thumbs down.
So they know.
I've enjoyed all the feedback.
This is a lot, though, like, sitting across from each other.
This is more than I look into someone else's eyes all week, is this podcast.
Sounds like your marriage is going great.
How was your week, other than avoiding your wife's eye contact?
Well, I mean, we wouldn't say we avoid it, but then again, if we were, like,
eating lunch
at home, and the kids are back in school as of Thursday, so we'll be sometimes
having
lunch at home.
So why are we doing this early today?
Why am I here three hours early?
So they have an open house Tuesday night, and I'm going to it.
So that's why we're here early.
What's up with next week?
One, they separate the grades by night.
So it's like the younger kids.
It's like K through 2 is Tuesday night, and then next week is 3 through 5.
My kids are named Ellis and Walker.
They're your God's kids.
Why?
Because you just said Emika.
Ellis is the kid.
But so her night is next week, yeah.
In my defense, Greg's wife looks like a child.
Looks like a young child.
Looks younger than your daughter.
I mean, I was just thinking today, as we, like, each had our laptops up as we
ate lunch
together, which is not a great sign.
You're probably right.
That, yes, she looks incredibly young, but we should stop talking about her.
She doesn't like that.
My week, I got to say, I'm getting into my process of getting ready for this
NFL season.
Maybe this is an exciting topic, but I think you'd be interested.
Just like, I counted them up.
This is my 20th season covering the NFL in some capacity.
And I feel like you have to, like, come up ways, and I think you go through
this, too.
Kind of, like, keep your job fresh, change it up.
So I've been, like, really diving into this Sunday column that I'm spending a
lot of my weekend
actually writing, which is, like, a change.
As Ellis said, I'm, like, I'm trying again.
She was like, what, you just weren't trying for a while?
And I was like, well, yeah, there's some columns, like, you feel stronger about
than others.
So I'm, like, pouring myself into getting ready for this, doing something, like,
differently
enough that, like, I'm excited about it.
You always have to, like, change things up.
Oh, yeah, I mean, you know what I do when I'm feeling stale?
What?
I fire Erica.
Do you think, do you think that, do you, like, now, do you even know it's 20
years?
I was wondering why you had this smile on your face as I'm just saying this
totally normal
story.
Yeah, I thought of it for minutes.
I was waiting on that one.
So now, like, you've known it in 20 years.
Are you now excited when there's a horrible story that's almost non-football
related to
give you something to write about?
Like, when the Deshaun Watson thing hits, are you like, oh, now I can talk
about this
instead of just X's and O's?
You're not happy that those women were.
No, I feel way more comfortable, just sort of, and probably just have a better
vantage
point on issues like that than I did when I was younger.
And I feel freer to speak my mind on it, which is awesome.
And I like it when the NFL or NFL Network lets me on to talk about it.
And I, yeah, like, our podcast, like, I think we're providing a valuable
service.
Like, we're speaking truth about, like, the hypocrisy of how that decision came
down, for
instance, and just, like, what a creep, two-faced guy Deshaun Watson is.
So I'm happy to do that.
But no, I love football.
Like, I mean, we've talked about this in terms of you keeping the fire stoked
with comedy.
Like, I love the sport itself, and it's, like, impossible to follow it enough
to know everything.
It's just