Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Big Dog Cardigan Boy (Full Episode 179)
Uploaded: 2022-10-19T18:13:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Big Dog Cardigan Boy (Full Episode 179)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Big Dog Cardigan Boy (Full Episode 179)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-19. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Big Dog Cardigan Boy (Full Episode 179)

Go for it.
Oh yeah, it's four pre-rolls.
Late night edition.
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Like I said, a special late-night edition of JRVP.
We got a drag queen doing Jesselnik jokes.
We got dog poop in some mom's mouth.
We got peeing on your ex-wife's grave.
All coming up on episode 179 of the Jesselnik and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JRVP.
JRVP, vice president.
Never limit yourself.
You can be a mom and pursue your dreams simultaneously.
You know, I figure you pick that quote almost like, of course you can.
Of course you can.
But you don't know what it's like to be a mom.
It's hard.
It's hard.
To pursue your dreams.
So I'm glad someone's supporting them.
Who said that?
Being a mom's not hard at all.
I looked up mom inspirational quotes today to get my quote.
And then I saw, as I typed in, like Googled in mom inspirational quotes,
it auto-corrected to momtrepreneur quotes.
And I was like, what is a momtrepreneur?
But I put it together.
And you can be a mom and pursue your dreams.
Because your dreams cannot be raising a kid.
I mean, that can be part of it.
Nope.
Momtrepreneur is a terrible name.
It's the worst combination of words since the petstoron, which is a business I
pass by on my way home from work quite often.
It's called the petstoron.
That's a bad one.
I was like, it sounds like they're cooking your pets for you.
That's where you go to eat someone's pets.
My laugh every time I pass, it's a chain in LA, I don't know if it's national,
called Sparadise.
But it's just a terrible, Sparadise is just bad.
Speaking of moms, you're wearing this cardigan I could kind of see a mom
wearing.
I'm a cardigan boy now.
I like cardigans.
I'm a cardigan boy.
Yeah.
I'm a cardigan boy.
It's surprising.
But I've always wanted to wear more cardigans in my life.
I haven't really done it yet.
I do have one that I kind of break out around Christmas.
And then at some point, yeah, Emek was like, you only wear that around
Christmas.
And that's the most grandfatherly thing you can do.
Well, I was a big hoodie guy for a long time.
And I was like, I feel too old to be wearing hoodies all the time.
And wearing a cardigan is, it's like a hoodie for an adult.
And I get cool hoodies.
I get cool cardigans.
I don't get like grandpa cardigans.
I get like Rockstar.
A lot of my cardigans have holes in them.
I mean, we'll let the YouTube viewers be the judge of Rockstar cardigans.
Well, now you're making me feel like I have to stop wearing hoodies or
something.
You can wear them like when you work out.
It just can't be your go-to all the time.
Throw in some adult clothes in there.
I do.
I throw some in.
There's a lot of this.
I mean, I have to do a podcast like this on YouTube like three or four times a
week.
So it's a very in-between dress.
You know what I mean?
It's like I don't need to be wearing a button-down shirt and a suit or
something.
So what do you wear on a thing like that?
For the most part, I wear a T-shirt with a jacket over it.
That's cool.
But, you know, I wear hoodies sometimes too.
I don't perform in a cardigan, but when I get home from the show and I'm back
in my
hotel, I change out of my clothes and I put on a cardigan.
That's my Mr. Rogers cardigan.
What about like expensive hoodies?
You know, like cool hoodies.
You're 43 years old.
You're 43 years old.
If I see you wearing a hoodie, you may as well be wearing one of those like
caps with a propeller
on it.
That's what I see.
I had like a badass hoodie last week.
A nice, you know, Naomi or something.
If it's just like, if it's a sweatshirt hoodie, it's little kid shit.
If you get like a, like a, like a knit hoodie, it's actually like a sweater
with like a zipper
on it.
That's okay.
Grow up, bro.
Grow up.
Be a cardigan boy like me.
The way you say cardigan boy just feels wrong.
It's surprising, but in a good way.
That shows your maturity level.
If you were more mature, you wouldn't have to be told to be a cardigan boy.
I do have to admit, like, I think there was a period where, where you were just
wearing
black T-shirts all the time and I was like, oh, that's a good idea.
I still have a lot of black T-shirts.
I mean, that was like 15 years ago and I'm still, you know, still kind of doing
that.
Yeah.
I'm trying to branch out.
So I mentioned earlier the late night pre-rolls.
This is the latest Jesselnik and Rosenthal vanity project.
JRVP.
Junior, vice president.
You know, Aaron, I'm going to put a stop to this right now.
Damn it.
All right.
I don't know why.
I like it.
It's not bad.
We asked for it.
You asked for it.
Yes, but people in general liked the old way.
There was one guy who complained, but people liked Aaron doing it the way he
was doing
it before.
Aaron, I'm going to give you my blessing to go back to the normal way, even
though we all
like this.
Okay.
Aaron, we showed up tonight for the late night.
JRVP.
Aaron is not happy about it, but he's like, I'll do it once.
And he's wearing a mask.
He's, he tested for COVID.
He's negative, but he still has a little bit of a cold.
So he did it for us.
Oh.
Which is very nice.
It makes me feel even worse.
So yeah, we're getting in here.
It's about 9 p.m. right now because I was at a, a kid's event on the Santa
Monica Pier.
They rent out the pier for the whole school.
It's like my kid's favorite night of the year.
Happened to be on Tuesday night.
And because of scheduling issues with all of us, we couldn't move it to Monday
or earlier
Tuesday or Wednesday.
And so this, this was what we came up with.
And I appreciate it because you guys are helping me feel like not such a bad
father.
I was just glad I got here early enough that Aaron, I could just talk wild shit
on you before
you showed up.
I mean, this is the problem though, because I'm at this event and ultimately my
kids are
kind of unhappy with me because we still, we left a little early and they knew
that Ellis,
who, who's done a bunch of these now, it's once a year and she's in fifth grade.
It's her fifth one is like checking her clock, like we got to go in half an
hour.
And she's like, so she's sad.
And I'm like trying to make up for it by like winning them more gifts and, you
know, winning
more prizes.
But ultimately like they're a little disappointed in me.
You guys are a little disappointed in me.
Like I'm trying to serve everyone here and no one's happy with me.
It's also, it's a little bit of a story window into my life.
It's just crazy.
Everyone should be working on my schedule.
Yeah.
And we're not, we're working on yours.
In this case, I mean, I'm the one with children.
That's true.
We've had some bad luck lately with the things just popping up on Tuesdays.
But like, if I couldn't go to this and we couldn't be flexible, like, you know,
it would be hard.
I don't know if I could do the podcast if it was like inflexible.
You know what I mean?
Don't threaten me.
I just like that you could go to this event.
I feel bad you had to leave this kids event early because that's like the only
place that
you can look cool in your hoodie.
I actually was wearing just a t-shirt there.
I was wearing my all things comedy t-shirt.
That's all I was wearing there.
Because it's quite warm out.
It's, you know, it's mid-October and it was mid-70s out at the beach.
I got to say, I feel weird, like knocking the hoodie as like, as not being a
grown up thing.
When I wore nothing but hoodies, that was like the nicest thing I had for quite
some time.
But now I just, I feel weird wearing a hoodie.
I feel, I feel like, and trust me, I have hoodies that I work out in.
But to wear, to an event.
Wait, who works out in a hoodie?
Like, you're not working out hard enough.
What?
I'm just saying.
Do you think the hoodie helps you?
I'm saying.
The hoodie makes these weights lighter?
There's no working out that I do that you wouldn't be hot if you're wearing a
hoodie.
Why not just wear a shirt, a t-shirt, an athletic shirt?
Because you want to sweat and it's a pump cover.
I would sweat because I actually actively work.
I don't need to put on hoodies.
I'm not like a football team that's like, oh, we're going to train working in
the heat.
Let's wear a bunch of hoodies in 90 degree weather.
I mean, is that the idea?
You think Rocky Bob Bo didn't know how to work out?
That's why I wore sweatsuits?
I mean, they've updated how you work out now.
Yeah, he's a little.
They updated it when?
It's outdated.
Oh, wow.
Back, you know, running up the hill.
You don't need to do that.
Running up that hill.
All right.
Enough of this nonsense.
Why?
Because we've been talking about hoodies and cardigans for quite some time.
We could talk about, you know, the event at the pier.
No, let's hear.
What do you want to talk about?
I mean, I'm just going to get through my week and get the...
This is going to be a shorter podcast, everyone.
Listen to me.
It's going to be short.
Enjoy it.
We're not long for this world tonight.
I'm sick of it.
I've had a great week.
I was in Irvine last weekend for another six sold-out shows.
And when I booked this tour, I was like, let me do the clubs that are near me.
And I picked the four clubs that are closest to me I can headline.
Irvine, Brea, Oxnard, and Ontario.
And I was like, oh, but having them all together like this in the seven-week
period is driving me crazy.
It used to be a nice break.
You're only two weeks in, and this is the first of the ones near you.
The other one was San Jose, right?
Yeah.
But if I go to the city, it's like a pain in the ass to fly there.
Like, you got to leave a day early, come back a day later than if you're
driving.
But it's so much easier once you get there, you're just in the city existing
just to do the shows.
So there's no stress until like an hour before the show.
But going to Irvine, I've got to leave like three or four hours before the
shows.
And I hated that.
And I drove myself.
In the past, I would get a car service to take me to and from the club.
But this time, I was like, you know what?
Fuck it.
I'll just go myself.
I'm not drinking.
It'll be easy.
And I hated it.
Not the drive back, but the drive there.
Get a car service.
That's what I'm doing.
This weekend, I'm in Oxnard.
In Irvine, I got a hotel the last night and then just like hung out and did the
Sunday show and drove back.
But in Oxnard, I'm just going back and forth just for the car service.
It'll be much easier.
But the shows have been great.
I'm enjoying myself.
And it seems like it's flying by.
It's only two weeks in, but it's been very easy.
And I wonder how much of that is just not dri