Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Gas Bass Back Bass (Full Episode 181)
Uploaded: 2022-11-09T18:58:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Gas Bass Back Bass (Full Episode 181)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Gas Bass Back Bass (Full Episode 181)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-09. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Gas Bass Back Bass (Full Episode 181)

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We've got two more.
We're setting records here.
What are you laughing at?
It's just funny to watch you flounder.
I'm not floundering at all.
I'm thriving.
You're drowning.
Imagine you, if you had to do this,
you would be drowning.
I'm nailing this.
I just said you're drowning,
and that's your comeback?
A lot of times-
I'd be drowning?
Well, yeah, you'd be drowning more.
But sometimes I am drowning early.
I think I've been nailing it.
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Thriving.
You're like about to drown.
You're like spinning on top of a barrel,
and I'm like, he's about to fall.
It's too much.
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I like that, you know,
we include some little goodness
in the middle of all the ads,
so people just have to listen
all the way through.
But that was some record-setting stuff
right there.
That was good.
You were like the micromachines guy.
I wish I was.
I am looking forward to talking
about a backpack full of gasoline today.
The dangers of getting a butt lift
and when you're too old
to become a comedian.
That's all coming up
on episode 181
of the Jeselnik and Rosenthal
Vanity Project.
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Junior, vice president.
It's so easy to be great these days
because everyone else is so weak.
Anthony's dancing.
We're feeling it.
We're here on yet another election night.
America Decides 2022
with Anthony and Greg.
We were here last time.
You remember that?
It was the old Biden versus Trump.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, I mean, we're like Wolf Blitzer.
You know, it wouldn't be election night
without us.
I voted today.
I've got my story.
I voted, you know,
like last week,
I did the mail-in ballot.
I have my sticker.
Greg did not wear a sticker.
I mean, that's kind of performative
at this point
if you sent in the mail-in,
you know, thing already.
Plus, by the time this gets out,
you know, polls
will be closed everywhere.
Maybe Hawaii.
Like, there's some people
who love the YouTube feed
in Hawaii could check it out.
I think it's important to vote.
I think, I don't care.
I'm not, I don't care who you vote for.
I have my preferences,
but I don't,
I just think people should go out and vote.
And if I can show that I voted,
then let it be performative.
I'm happy.
I'm happy to get the sticker.
If you go and vote
and you, like,
they give you a sticker
and you don't put it on,
you're a better man than me.
I don't know how you do that.
I don't, I don't wear a lot of stickers,
but the voting sticker,
I'm excited to get it.
I'm proud to have it.
I am too,
but when it's a mail-in ballot,
you're like,
I didn't know what to do with it.
I think I just put it up in the house
and I dropped it off
on a Friday evening,
last Friday.
I left it there.
No one would see me.
If someone sees me on the street
on, like, election day
and I'm wearing the sticker,
like, okay,
Jessalyn voted, you know?
I'm a public figure.
I got to vote.
What I'm sick of,
I don't know,
I don't know if this is,
if it's like this for you.
This is the first election year
where I've gotten texts.
Texts.
Texts.
Texts.
God damn it.
I get so many text messages
every day
and for some reason,
when I bought my cell phone,
I never had a cell phone before
until I got it in Pennsylvania
before I drove out
to Los Angeles with you
and so for some reason,
I'm getting Pennsylvania texts
and California ones.
my phone is like every day
10, 20 texts.
It's driving me nuts
and I don't know how
I got on these things
and I don't know how to stop it
but I honestly might get
a new phone number.
I've had the same phone number
for 20 plus years
but I might change it
just to get away
and never give it out again.
Like, I do not answer
my phone anymore.
I don't think anyone does.
Everything's a spam risk.
I get so few phone calls
and text messages now are terrible.
Greg Rosenthal coming in.
I'm psyched.
I answer it
but you would probably be like,
hey, let's talk.
You would text me that
but taking away my texting
is brutal.
Every text I get,
it's awful.
I hate it.
Stop doing it.
I don't understand
whose mind they're changing.
Like, you're just making people mad.
If I didn't think voting
was so important,
I would not vote
just to protest the text messages.
Yeah, I don't need to hear
from the Firefighters Association
again.
Like, back off,
Firefighters Association.
I don't know why
it's the firefighters
and the police
association,
they're just texting
all the time.
But both of them
get me mad.
I've been getting texts
from Dr. Oz,
texts from Fetterman
and I'm like,
this makes me mad
all around.
Well, that doesn't make
any sense.
I don't get it.
Mine is a New York
cell phone number.
I don't get anything
from New York.
That doesn't make any sense.
You probably never changed
your registration
from your childhood house.
No, I never had it
registered there
because I wasn't living
there at the time.
You never voted there?
I had a California phone number.
I got it in Pittsburgh
before I left.
I've never gotten
to Pennsylvania anything
until this.
And I've switched
carriers since then.
I went from Sprint
to AT&T,
so I don't know
how this is following me,
but it's in there
and it sucks.
You can also get rid
of some of the people
in your phone
that know your number
if you change your number.
Maybe you're not
that disappointed
they don't have
your new number.
Yeah.
I just like my number.
I like saying my number.
It's easy to remember
that I just enjoy it.
Is it again?
If your phone number
was 8-6-7-5-3-0-9,
you would never change it.
Right?
That's not my phone number.
That's the phone number
from the song.
Jenny.
Tommy Two-Tone.
Is that who sang that song?
I don't know.
I think so.
Yes.
Yes.
It was a strong guess.
It's good to see you.
Hold on.
Before you start
slobbering my knob,
I want to keep talking
about the election.
I think it's weird now.
I don't know if it's
always been like this,
but you used to find out
on election night
what was going to happen.
Now I feel like it's weeks
because everyone's voting
by mail or absentee ballot.
Right?
It's just not the same.
You don't get the same kick.
We go to dinner after this
with our boy Lloyd
and maybe we'll find out something,
but I don't even know
what's up with this election.
I don't know what's going on.
The L.A. mayor race
is the one I'm most interested in here,
but I don't think people
probably listening to this podcast
are that interested.
The sports gambling one,
that one's interesting to me.
Their ads were so bad
that I think people
are voting against it
just because the ads were so bad,
which makes sense to me.
I don't care either way
on that one.
In the mayor's race,
I'm like I'm voting my way,
but if the other way happens,
I'm not furious.
I get anxious.
I would be furious,
but I get anxious
on these election days,
but then it's ultimately underwhelming.
I think I'm just traumatized
from the Trump election.
That was the last time
I voted in person.
I realized like
that is such a bad memory
of waiting in line
for like an hour
for an election
that ended with Donald Trump
being the president
that I don't want
to do that ever again.
I do my part
on election day.
I do my part.
I vote.
No matter what,
I voted in like
the minor elections,
major ones.
I just don't want
to have that feeling
of I didn't do
like the bare minimum,
which is voting.
And once I do that,
I can let it go.
When Trump won,
I was like,
you know what?
I voted.
I did my part.
Let's see what happens now.
But if I hadn't voted,
I would have been upset.
So vote so that you can,
so you have a clear conscious,
conscience,
no matter what happens.
I agree.
We were together
when Joe Biden
was finally ruled
as the victor
in the 2020 election.
We were in San Diego
and that's when we found out.
We were staying together
at the house,
the huge house
that you rented
with Rummy.
And we were,
Emeka and I,
and we were just about to leave.
And that's when we found out
and there were people
like honking horns
in the middle of San Diego.
We weren't together
by that point,
but I always remember that.
Yeah, you were the one
who told me.
You were the one
who told me that Joe Biden won
and that's why America's
gone downhill ever since.
We were going to make it
great again, Greg.
We were going to do it.
But I'm glad,
I'm glad we can maybe
not talk politics
for a little while,
but that's not going to happen.
Am I doing a good job
not interrupting you so far?
So far.
It's not,
this is what,
if you always interrupted me,
then maybe I would get used to it.
It's the fact that you lulled me
into a sense of security.
And then as I'm talking,
you will fire out
with the howitzer interruption.
It's how you,
it's not just the interruption,
it's how you interrupt.
You can jump in sometimes,
certainly.
The last episode,
it seemed to take
you to another place.
I was not in a great mood
last episode,
which contributed.
But when you're not
in a good mood
and someone,
because you interrupt loudly,
you know what I mean?
I do everything loudly.
You come in hard
and then your voice
kind of tapers off,
but your interruption
is so successful
because you come in loud
and fast.
It's a terrible habit
that I have in general.
And I do it
on the Around the NFL podcast
way too much too.
And I try to remind myself
not to do that.
And yeah,
like I said
on the last podcast,
whenever I'm sitting
at the kitchen table,
when I'm back
for like the holidays
or one of my family's birthdays,
and we're all like
competitively trying
to interrupt each other,
I realize like,
oh, this is just,
this is where I came from.
And me and my kids do it too.
Like everyone's just
dying to talk.
We have so many
great things to say.
It's good to get checked
on your interruptions,
I feel like.
I agree.
Because I interrupt people
sometimes too
and someone's like,
hey, you're interrupting me.
I'm like, oh, thank you.
Like I'll try to dial it
back a little bit.
But you get excited.
You're talking to me.
You're talking to the jazz.
You want to get something
in there.
I've got some businesses
to take care of real fast.
New tou