Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Jump Rope Feels Good (Full Episode 182)
Uploaded: 2022-11-16T20:47:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Jump Rope Feels Good (Full Episode 182)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Jump Rope Feels Good (Full Episode 182)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-16. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Jump Rope Feels Good (Full Episode 182)

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first purchase that's athletic greens.com slash jrvp don't look so tired while
i'm doing it rubbing
your eyes as if you couldn't be bothered to listen to that beautiful reading
anthony i listened to it
it was good it was great uh you know what else is great a jump rope stuck in a
bladder uh comedians
that would do well in the challenge and frogs where they shouldn't be those are
all coming up on episode
182 of the jeselnik and rosenthal vanity project jrvp junior vice president do
not whine do not complain
work harder spend more time alone
i like it when anthony cardigan boy uh gives us a little wisdom to start the
show like that
that's a joan didion quote okay uh joan didion is having an estate sale it's
actually the auction is
tomorrow and as soon as i heard about it i was like oh i've got to get
something and i looked and it
was like i was like okay here's i could get some of these things uh and now it's
been weeks and it's
it's tomorrow and i'm like there's no way i'm not gonna bid on anything there
was some kind of cool
stuff because they're too expensive now it's online it's too yeah it's online
right now send me a link
it's too expensive for like what it is where uh there were a couple pictures
that i like like one is
like patty smith took a picture took a photograph of uh of herman hess's typewriter
and had given that
to joan didion um with like an inscription and i was like oh that's kind of
cool like put your desk
and now it's like five grand it's like the things that are it's not it's not
the money is the reason
i don't want it it's that this stuff feels like it's all the stuff that her
like actual family and
friends didn't want of course that they're like okay we'll give this away that
i'm just it feels
and it's all going to charity but there was a desk a desk of theirs that she
and her husband had
brought from california it was like a wedding present they brought it to new york
it's like
beautiful desk really old but uh to ship it from new york would be such a pain
in the ass that i i
decided i'm not going to get anything a desk would be cooler or something like
that that would have
some use and you're like oh yeah this is joan didion's desk then some personal
handwritten note of like oh yeah this was uh old herman's photograph like i
love you and you feel
like you're trespassing to own that doesn't feel i don't think it would feel
yeah it didn't feel it
didn't feel like something that i actually wanted there's a couple like
photographs of joan that she
had in her house i call her joan um that that were like okay but still i just
didn't i didn't want
to get it on the estate so i decided not to when you have a tattoo of someone
you can just call her
by their first name are you okay with that being you know public information
what kind of tattoos you
have no we've talked about this before i don't know why you're bringing it up
now i don't remember
you don't remember me saying don't introduce information if i bring something
up you can talk
about it so many rules to be just the one really just that and then don't
interrupt me uh if i sound
like i'm in a bad mood um i'm not i was in a bad mood i got here early to all
things comedy and i was
locked out i guess everyone was in a meeting aaron is doing a podcast in here
which i understand but
i'm just like i came in hot i had to go to the bathroom so bad and i had like
maybe half an hour
before we did the show and then i was just locked out and i just sat there
having to pee more and more
and then greg came in also having to pee and just a couple of guys in their 40s
to have it just having
to pee in the lobby and i yelled at greg for sure i mean that was ridiculous i
came in and i was like
your knight in shining armor and you treated me like i was nothing because i
remembered a couple weeks
ago that i actually got the code to get in and i i thought okay i'm gonna save
the day here but it
was very tricky to get the week i couldn't figure out how to get the code thing
to work meanwhile you're
like yelling at me like i'm your little bitch yeah like i'm your assistant and
i'm the one holding
the key to your bladder and when i did open the door finally like did i get a
thanks no like you just
you fucking yelled more i didn't yell so i slammed the door in your face which
was a good bit i did use
the bathroom first uh but you were like i got the code and then you're like you're
like oh it's not
work i don't know should i text aaron like yeah text aaron yeah and i did and
he was doing doing a
show and i'm trying to press it you weren't doing anything to help it was it
was very very just like
it's like if i don't hit the right music cue you're yelling but you you're not
doing it you're not doing
anything to help and i saved the day otherwise you'd have pee in your pants you're
just you're just an
old man you think i would have pissed myself you think you don't think i would
have gone outside
found somewhere to go you said you were threatening though you seemed in a very
uh rough mood i don't
know if it's gotten that much better me my my most angry is is having to pee
really having to pee
really bad i will lose it if i ever had road rage if you ever hear of me
getting arrested for road rage
it will be because i had to pee and i was stuck in traffic and i lost my mind
like i stopped on the
way i think it was to vegas or maybe it was to this tennis tournament we went
to with our family
um you know at the at the side of the road at a rest stop just to pee and i and
that was like a
moment where i was like i'm really aging this is like the sign of a like an
aging man because i don't
think that had ever happened before but i just had i had to do it this is what's
happening to us you
think that's an age thing they're just having like it's not like you it's not
like i never um had to
pee before but uh i think in the past it's just like i'll wait till one kid
needs it it's not necessary
aaron how old are you i just turned 40 do you remember uh happy birthday uh
welcome to the 40
club uh we're all members when do you remember the first time you had to pee it
was it recent no i'm
just saying that i stopped a trip and no one else needed to just for myself you
know usually i'm kind
of like okay let's let's go as far as you can uh let's get there let's get
there as quickly as
possible we drinking coffee just water i guess you know it's diabetic yeah i
drink coffee on my way
over here and so i was like all right i gotta i gotta i thought about eating on
my way here and i was
like you know what i'm just gonna get there early use the bathroom read maybe
they'll have snacks and
i was just in the lobby uh furious we've really made a meal out of this this
piss story here
you know i i don't like i don't like being locked out i don't know why you have
the code i don't have
the you actually yeah you called your you got your manager to like call people
around the office it was
like a five alarm fire i was like i'm sitting here because it says like bring
the doorbell and wait
and i'm like no one's coming that happened that's happened to me multiple times
here i don't always
have to pee but yeah i bring the doorbell and someone comes but i'm like this
isn't i don't the
parking lot's full people are here what's happening and uh and i had to wait
till you save me i just
forwarded you the email now it's on you if you can't find that email in the
future with the code oh
you think that solves everything you think i'm just gonna keep that email i'm
deleting that as
soon as just search atc in your email box this is what i mean you could also
giving up
responsibility you could also text me uh i come running for jeselnik but so if
i had texted you
while you were doing a podcast you would have gotten up and left the room yeah
because when
greg got here we were almost done so i couldn't leave but like a few i got here
i got i got yeah
okay i probably could have run out but you don't know when i ring that doorbell
no it used to ping
all of our phones but that function broke okay okay we should do like a whole
hour just on this
we could now that now should we talk about the contract situation being
resolved wow okay i didn't
know i didn't know we were going there yeah yeah we're we are we have re-upped
with all things
comedy congratulations aaron we are uh we are here for another at least another
year it's a one-year
contract um but uh we like it here we're gonna stick around we'll be in the
studio yeah we got uh
the beautiful picture picture of seaweed behind me if you're watching our show
on youtube i've uh we've
had uh some inquiries about upgrading the studio because of anthony anthony's
pushing for that so
i'm looking forward to that aaron how have you enjoyed having more work to do
um with i without
any extra compensation i assume hasn't hasn't reached my ears yet so that's
good no i just mean
this show is more work to do and ultimately i wouldn't say it's like added
added to your plate
what are the other podcasts i gotta think we're the best podcast that you
produce in terms of like
it's fun to be in the room with two best friends one of them who's mad all the
time
i do a lot of shows oh wait you can't pick favorites at least pick your least
favorite i shouldn't yeah
what's your least favorite can't do it okay most likely to not make it make it
back for 20 my least
favorite just left are we the funniest why are they why are they your least
favorite because you
have the most work to do or because it's not funny the latter okay but it's not
supposed to be funny
right they're not trying to be funny and i mean it's all things comedy yeah it's
it seemed like a
weird fit okay okay okay makes sense they don't but a jrvp fits you like a
glove is what you're saying
oh yeah okay oh yeah um it's really making it my catchphrase here i saw a i saw
a great movie uh
this uh this weekend greg that i was like oh i wish i had seen it with you
actually i want you to
see it and talk to me about it it's called the banshees of an instrument and do
you remember do you
ever see in bruges no we just we talked about yeah the the guy uh the 