Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Chomp (Full Episode 187)
Uploaded: 2023-01-09T16:29:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Chomp (Full Episode 187)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Chomp (Full Episode 187)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-09. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Chomp (Full Episode 187)

go for it oh yeah first pre-roll of the year only pre-roll of the year only pre-roll
of this week
that's right thanking athletic greens i take ag1 by athletic greens literally
every day i gave ag1
a try because i wanted better gut health if you're looking for an easier way to
take supplements
athletic greens is giving you a free one-year supply of vitamin d and five free
travel packs
with your first purchase go to athleticgreens.com slash jrvp that's athleticgreens.com
slash jrvp check it out athletic greens hitting us with the new copy for the
new year it's gonna be
tough to top that but we've got anthony's perfect john wickroll uh andrew tate
and our recap of a
very jrvp christmas all coming up in the first episode of 2023 for the jessel
nick and rosenthal
vanity project jrvp junior vice president i'm chief and heavy understand me
baby this gangsta boo
do you know do you know my quotes from it's from gangsta boo it's from gangsta
boo yeah do you know
why i'm i'm talking about gangsta boo yeah i do know that we uh we lost her
that's sad we lost
gangsta but i saw gangsta boo live i remember it very well because i went to go
see run the jewels
gangsta boo i was introduced to gangsta boo i know she was in three six mafia i
was not a part of that
uh memphis hip-hop scene but you weren't part of it yeah i wasn't you weren't a
fan i wasn't i wasn't
into it i was like you guys do your thing enjoy it memphis i'm gonna sit over
they didn't allow any
cardigan boys into the that crew maybe that's why i wasn't a fan if they'd all
been cardigan boys i
would have been happy but uh but i went to see run the jewels and i brought
some friends and this
girl like a friend of a friend came and she was like oh gangsta boo i love gangsta
boo she's opening i
was like yeah she's in one of the songs she's like yeah i love this one song of
hers and then we get to
the show and the friend walks up to me and goes i'm like getting drinks and she
goes anthony and i'm
like yeah and she's where them dollars at i'm like what she's like where them
dollars at and i was
like all right fuck you like i'm not paying for your like drinks i just met you
tonight and i walk
away and she's like no that's the name of gangsta boo song and that's the quote
from gangsta boo's
where them dollars at that i will never forget gangsta boo just for that but i
was i was sad to hear
of gangsta boo's passing i mean a day uh a crazy week yeah i didn't think we
were starting there
although that is uh i wrote the quote before all these other things happened i
thought your story
was going to end that that was gangsta boo in line with you that would have
been cool that would have
been cool that would have been cool if gangsta just turned to me and said where
them dollars at
and i i yelled at her um didn't happen but i mean where do we start where do we
start with this
podcast i feel like the world's eyes are upon us this week because of uh renner
because of tulane
tulane because of uh demar hamlin harry hamlin's son very sad we'll talk about
that that was a
surreal thing last night if anybody watched that um and then my assistant
started i've got an assistant
now and so i want to talk about that we also spend christmas together we did
yes we want to talk about
the holidays talk about new year but first our boy i know everyone's wants
updates from us
greg right before uh we started the podcast got a uh picture uh jeremy renner
uh our boy jer texted
greg a picture and uh and said he's doing all right you know greg and i went to
uh to reno to uh say
say what's up to jeremy uh over the weekend after he uh he was hurt i don't
know if you guys knew this
he was hurt uh jeremy renner uh was run over by his own snowplow he pulled a
tamposi and was run over
by his own snowplow uh on new year's day trying to clear snow he apparently
someone was uh stuck in
the snow and he went to try to help them and something happened where he doesn't
even remember
you know he's just like if you would ask him a question like jeremy what
happened he would have
to kind of sing it to you like he wasn't able to tell the story but if he just
kind of turned off
that part of his brain and started strumming you know and i know people know we're
not breaking news
here jeremy renner lost a leg in the accident but how many legs aaron how many
legs do you need to play
guitar oh that'd be zero legs yeah how many legs do you need aaron to uh put a
guitar on your back
that'd be zero legs how many legs do you need to decide whether or not heaven
does in fact have a name
still no legs exactly he may as well have gotten a haircut for all that's going
to affect him jeremy
renner he's in great spirits he lost he did lose about a dozen dozen and a half
guitars in the
accident but otherwise he's good jimmarin is good he's going to be good going
forward the picture was
great he looked in great spirits the the guitars were with him in the snowplow
yeah was there's been
rumors when when someone as influential musically as jeremy renner you know has
something like this
happen just like the internet starts buzzing different like conspiracies like
do you believe
the one that he was singing nomad from uh the arctic dogs soundtrack and just
got like so carried away
uh that that preceded everything and that would explain the guitars here's what
i heard i heard
it slightly differently because the internet twists things is that jeremy renner
made arctic dogs uh
is it arctic arctic dogs what's the name of the movie arctic dogs he made them
famous and they repaid
him by when they saw the accident the arctic dogs came around and uh sang back
up on nomad with him
while they waited for the tourniquet i thought they were gonna save him like
let people know that he's
hurt bring the stuff this is art maybe this is arctic dogs too maybe they were
filming arctic dogs tried to
help just made it worse just made things way way worse they cannot put on the
tourniquet licking the wound
only it led to an infection but a prayers up for jeremy renner uh rendog aaron
you a big jeremy renner
fan oh i mean only second to you guys that's a bold statement aaron it was it
was i'm not gonna
say there's never a good time for rendog to have an accident like this but it
didn't hurt that my family
you know was in tokyo so i had i like had all my time and energy to give to renner
you know your
family says they were in tokyo i don't know it's it's a little it's a little
fishy with what happened
with renner uh i just i listen here's how good a person jeremy renner is and we're
not making fun
of jeremy renner we feel terrible we are we are in the renner-verse we love jeremy
renner if i'm driving
a snow plow and i see you broken down the side of the road that's where you die
you're going to freeze
to death jeremy renner stopped got out cut his own leg off for the people for
the ticket buyers it was
kind of like a um uh what was it wind river is a wind river situation if you've
ever seen that movie
aaron you ever seen wind river yeah good movie yep great movie i love that
movie it's a wind river
situation it's bones and all i i picked up my family from the airport today
though so they seem to
if they were here they really played it out well um in fact i kind of just
dropped them off back at
home um everyone's you know very jet lagged we got we got some burgers and then
immediately said bye
to my family that i haven't seen in in three weeks to come to the uh the jessel
nick and rosenthal vanity
project jrvp junior vice president i would have not stopped the car i would
have just rolled up and
been like get your asses out leave your suitcases i'll bring them back when i
come back i'm going to
jrvp it up do you think that's what happened no but they you know it worked out
well because a nice
little uh gift gift for you why do i'm gonna open presents in a second i'm
gonna open presents in a
second why didn't you do what i told you to do and get a car service to pick
them up do you think that
they wanted to see daddy at the airport or do you think they just like didn't
want you to take the
easy way out neither you didn't even bring it up i i did bring it up but i
think they just preferred
getting getting a ride home from someone they know you know picking them up at
the airport it's just
it's what you don't find a guy on craigslist to do it like someone's holding
the sign i get it i get
it but but some people um prefer the no i mean personal touch and i gotta admit
now that i've
done it you know it was it was beautiful seeing seeing walker so excited to see
me i'm not sure
ellis and emica were that excited but walker was excited to see me they'll be
excited to see me let's
open some presents from from the kids the kids got me and i believe emica was
involved in this unless the
kids stole it from the store they got me candy japanese candy i've got uh rummy
there it's a candy
called rummy hitokuchi rummy uh aaron what does that mean hitokuchi rummy hitokuchi
yeah h-i-t-o-k-u-c-h-i
i'm gonna need a second okay take a second and the uh i also got uh kitkat um
some kind of vanilla
kitkat i think this looks looks delicious and then cards aaron are you carrying
the one over there you
told me you were fluent in japanese and that's why we got you the job uh i
might have fudged that on
my resume okay you can tell aaron um really missed anthony but anthony even
more missed aaron like these
two weeks were tough on you guys this little budding bromance here i've been
texting aaron
on stop from a renner's hospital bed hitokuchi means bite by the way hmm what
does rummy mean
because there's grapes there's grapes on the cover take a bite like i'm not
gonna open it maybe it's
maybe it's like a little rum little rum maybe it's made out of pieces of your
dog it's possible that
that would be fucked up but uh the kids made me cards walker's card is hand
drawn which is very
cute uh merry christmas anthony to anthony from walker and then a picture of me
within uh it says
anthony and an arrow pointing to me and a picture of walker with an arrow
pointing to him it says me
and then your fortune is you will burn your pasta that's my fortune there's a
picture you can like
hold it up to the camera there's a picture of me burning my pasta you if you're
on youtube you can
pause this and zoom in and see the artwork it's incredible it's it's i mean if
i had a son i would
help you withdraw this well and then your daughter made me a card with a little
3d action she cut out
a pink heart and pasted it to the uh the red card merry christmas from ellis
this is merry christmas
anthony there's a picture of me looking kind of sesame street but in a good way
i like it and then your
fortune is if rummy sneezes three times in a row you will eat something yummy
and then it's a drawing of
rummy where rummy looks fucking adorable let's see he's saying let's see rummy
and there's a picture
of ellis just from the eyeballs up saying merry christmas it's very cute in
their defense also
uh they had these cards ready before they left the country on december 14th so
that is my fault for
getting to bring it to you uh when we did jrvp a week before and when you came
over for christmas and
i had it just sitting right out and never handed it to you but it was nice we
had a nice christmas we had a
great christmas we had a fun time we had a nice romantic dinner and oh you know
what before i get
into that i want to open my other gifts uh this year when i got to the podcast
studio today there
were two packages waiting for me uh there and pulled out and the first one i
opened up and it's from uh tc
libby our friend tc libby says happy hanukkah merry christmas and happy festivus
and the card says
donation has been made in your name to the human fund money for people and i
was like what is the human
fund is that pro-abortion or anti-abortion i couldn't tell and aaron what did
you say i think
it's a george costanza bullshit thing from seinfeld yeah that's what you said
and i was like there's no