Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Uh... Baby With A Gun (Full Episode 189)
Uploaded: 2023-01-18T18:23:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Uh... Baby With A Gun (Full Episode 189)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Uh... Baby With A Gun (Full Episode 189)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-18. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Uh... Baby With A Gun (Full Episode 189)

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season it's gonna be a good
one uh we've got a toddler with a gun uh we've got who anthony would want on
his roast team and nude
pickleball all coming up on episode 189 of the jeselnik and rosenthal vanity
project jrvp junior vice president
put the knife in your eye
why you gotta put that knife in your eye
put the knife in your eye
um i'm standing up this week
i uh i confused everyone i came in i was like i'm gonna i'm gonna stand up uh
for this episode of the podcast
i'm i'm doing doing doing some back stuff i've got a chiropractor i've got an
acupuncture person we are getting to the root of things
i'm in like these technical technical technologically advanced uh machines
that make me feel much much better but afterwards i uh it's it's it's not fun
to sit down so
i am standing uh you're gonna notice if you watch the youtube video and you
should be watching the youtube video
you should be subscribing to the youtube channel just just for me it's a vanity
thing when it comes
to subscriptions i like i like where our uh our numbers are when it comes to
like people watching
the videos i know we're just starting out with that stuff it's going to keep
growing i think people who
watch it enjoy it you get to see our facial expressions you get to see
reactions silent reactions to things
i say that threaten greg's livelihood uh i think that's fun but uh but when i
look at the subscriptions
i'm like we're at like 11 like 12 000 or something and they're podcasts that i
hate people that i hate
who make a lot of money doing podcasts and they have millions of subscribers
and i just want to get
like a little closer so you don't have to watch it you don't have to watch the
youtube video i recommend
it uh but if you're a listener just go subscribe and then put it out of your
mind never go to youtube
again i don't care i want my ego fluffed um isn't it isn't it fluffed enough
you know you're out on the
road you're uh you're standing up that's kind of a power move now the dynamics
of you being you know
considerably taller than me are really playing out because i'm sitting down i
don't know if i like
this yeah i think you got to watch it you got to watch the youtube video just
to see this dynamic
play out me being taller than greg it's never happened before um no my ego
never is fluffed enough
it's like having your ego fluffed is like heroin yeah it feels good but then
when you don't get
fluffed for a little bit you're like i need that fluff give me that fluff i
want the fluff that's
why i show up um with makeup on every tuesday come from the nfl i could wipe it
off uh on my way out
of the nfl because they do some makeup there but i'm thinking that jeselnik's
uh a pretty man and uh
i'm gonna need this makeup makeup this is my advantage he might be tall but i
got my makeup does your
does your wife believe you when you get home and you're like oh this is from
this is from work
that lipstick on my collar that's that's not you know sometimes i do get it
around the collar you
don't like that but i i always remember uh dave damashek our friend uh used to
work at the nfl
network and he would just say like hey you ever just you know leave here with
you with your makeup on
i guess that's that's my damashek he's like he's like hey try it you feel like
a million bucks fella
and say you know just going around the rest of your day with your makeup on
does feel good anyone who works in tv that i know and i don't know if you're
like this i mean
the best part of being in tv is taking off the makeup like i'm i always say
like listen i don't
know if you're gonna leave the makeup person like if you're gonna leave here
after you do this to me
that's fine leave me with those wipes i'm all about the wipes i can't stand
having that stuff yes in
general i always do take it off but who knows if i'm if i'm gonna go to like uh
some dinner or
something afterwards maybe maybe i'll leave it on just look a little extra
pretty because i'm
starting to look my age i got those got those bags under my eyes you know tom
rosenthal good-looking
guy but when i look in the mirror and i just see my dad now it's it's a lot for
me tom rosenthal is
one of the best-looking motherfuckers of all time tom rosenthal got it done uh
he didn't pull debbie
with a personality i'll tell you that um i remember one the only time i ever
wanted to wear makeup after the
gig was over i was doing a day of shooting on the movie miss march uh with uh
with a couple of the
guys from uh um oh what the fuck was the name of that group um trevor moore and
zach crager were in
the movie with stars of the movie they were directing it and i think they had
co-written the script and
they wanted me they asked me that like you kind of look like zach a little bit
later on in the movie
zach gets beaten up he gets his ass kicked and for like a little bit he's got
like a big black eye
his face is all bruised up would you mind if we test the makeup on you we'll
give you a couple
hundred bucks just to let us like do it on you to make sure it looks good and i
was like can i wear
it out of here and they're like you want to what i'm like can i wear it home
because that would be so
funny to be like driving in my car with like my half my face swollen shut but
just the makeup and they
were like yeah okay like we'll come back to you in like an hour to do the
makeup test and i go to
zach and trevor and i'm like guys this is awesome they're gonna let me uh and i
thought they knew
they were gonna test it on me so they're gonna let me wear the makeup out of
here and they're like
that's cool man you're really into looking your best and like the next day they're
like oh i
thought you spent the powder i thought you were just looking for like lip gloss
and powder and uh
and we're gonna go uh take the world by storm but no i'm not a makeup guy i don't
like it if i could
not wear makeup i would not i used to say just no and they're like why is your
face so shiny take
that take that shine off my forehead i used to avoid it but you know now this
thing's on youtube
subscribe uh you know i gotta look my best subscribe right now uh the my quote
this week is from
a movie called skinnamarink have you heard of this yeah you have okay if you if
you wait you don't
have aaron doesn't have a microphone i do i do it yeah okay yeah you got to see
skinnamarink and
i had heard of it like two days ago yeah i just i it came out last weekend and
i was like what is
this sounds like a horror movie i looked it up it is in fact a horror movie and
all i knew was it's
about like two kids at home and like they're trying to they're like something's
going on in the house
and it's these two kids and it's been this very experimental horror film and it's
playing down
the street from me it's playing at the sunset five and i'm like oh i gotta go i
gotta go see this
liz and i went last night theater's packed it's a small theater but it's packed
and the like where
i'm in the second row from the back and there's one guy sitting behind me which
i don't love but i'm
like whatever all of a sudden right before the movie starts 10 dudes come in
the theater this guy
had invited all of his friends who hadn't seen in a long time he hadn't seen a
long time to go see
skinnamarink none of them know what they're like what is this movie again they're
like talking they're
laughing like oh yeah making the dumbest jokes i'm about to get mad but it's
still like the trailers
are playing so i'm like i'm not gonna say anything until the movie starts as
soon as the movie starts
there's like there's maybe 10 lines of dialogue in the whole film it is shot
like from a little kid's
point of view you never see anyone's face like a full full on it's like it's it's
like almost like a
student film it's like really well done i spent half the time being like i can't
believe this movie
got into theaters like i just i was fascinated by it and the people behind me
were in pure hell
the guy who invited his friends was miserable his friends were like this is
awful one dude fell asleep
that it really is like a test of are you cool or not because if you sit and you
watch this movie like
when the lights came up at the end everyone kind of looked around like holy
shit but these people were
miserable i was like i'm gonna be cool i'm gonna focus up on this movie and
enjoy it and try to figure out
what's going on and these guys behind me were losers it reminded me of when you
and me went to
go see crouching tiger no we went to go see um magnolia with jp uh with jp bozeman
where he was
definitely would not pass the cool test we were about to go see in any way and
he was like i'll go
see a movie with you guys and then was like we were uh loved the movie and he
was miserable and
afterwards he was talking that it was like that but it is aaron if you can see
it in theaters because
i can't it's gonna be on shutter later on this year i can't imagine watching it
at home
i can't i don't think i can watch it it's not the trailer was terrifying and i
have a small child
there's no gore it like it really is it's psychological it's totally messed up
but if you
don't see it in the theater you're not going to be able to pay attention to it
at all
uh but i i loved it i love skinnering they're still testing you the for being
cool though i am
like you gotta have to keep passing it if you're watching the youtube video you
can see my jacket you
know i'm cool you look at my headphones you know what i'm all about i'm the
fonds
yeah you got a nice leather jacket on is that a new one no i think i've seen
that this one's super
old this one's probably my oldest leather jacket but i have more that's not as
cool i guess it is
cool to have old no this is this jacket i actually went to a different store
today and they were like
oh my god that jacket looks so good so good but it's beat up like that how long
have you had it i
was like years and they're like cool cool i am cool uh got back from west palm
beach uh this this uh this
sunday exhausted had to i did my last show west palm beach saturday night got
home at midnight to
the hotel had to leave four hours later to drive back to miami to fly out did
not sleep at all
which is a mistake and then spent all sunday recovering it's nice to get back
early sunday
it's like you have the whole day but i'm i've been exhausted the last couple
days leaving tomorrow
morning early for rally north carolina let's see i think i think rally's
already sold out so this would be
uh you know um 12 13 through 18 shows sold out on this tour i've been so i've
sold out all three
weekends so far uh and i'm i'm very excited i've never been to charlie goodnights
in rally north
carolina one of those clubs that all my friends would play would always be
there but i never went i
assume they wouldn't pay me enough now they are so i'm excited i'm excited for
rally b