Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Sex with Fish (Full Episode 191)
Uploaded: 2023-02-08T15:53:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Sex with Fish (Full Episode 191)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Sex with Fish (Full Episode 191)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-08. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Sex with Fish (Full Episode 191)

go for it oh yeah three pre-rolls today blowing out anthony's ear with helix
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no match for uh cooking up
some zoo animals having sex with a fish and anthony's biggest fan in asia all
coming up in episode 191
of the jeselnick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp junior vice president they're
the four horsemen
first order business always what's that from that is from a movie i'm going to
talk about that i saw
this weekend uh called uh knock at the cabin okay and knock at the cabin we'll
talk about in a second
first of all let me just say this is gonna be a little different podcast this
week we're taping
a day early uh greg's got to leave tomorrow for the super bowl um we are going
to hold it where
it's going to this is going to come out tuesday afternoon probably a little
earlier than it would
have if we'd done it tuesday but we're holding it for the night just for the
sake of advertisers
we don't want the advertisers from last week feeling that they got cheated by a
day but i will say this
i will pull the curtain back a little bit we almost didn't do a podcast this
week
we talked about aaron greg myself talked about uh not doing it not because i'm
not feeling well
i'm feeling better than i was last week i thought i was over it last week i was
not
uh things got bad again but i it's it's it continually improving i feel good
today
but if they hadn't shot down the chinese balloon we would not be here
it was a tough week for i don't know i can't speak for you guys i'll ask you
guys how your week was
but as soon as i heard about the chinese balloon i got in the fucking basement
i got in the fucking
basement with a pillow and a bottle of water and and a cell phone didn't even
bring the charger didn't
have time for that and tried to hide out and i don't have kids i was like thank
god i don't have
kids thank god liz and i are childless so we could just huddle up inside a
cardboard box in the
basement of the building i live in and wait this out finally they shot it down
they shot down
the balloon over myrtle beach and i can breathe again and i can podcast again
more importantly
but i'll tell you this i don't get into politics a lot in this podcast but the
way this balloon was
handled disgusts me this would have been way different with president lyndon
johnson in the
white house i'll say that greg how did you get through the chinese balloon well
i do have kids
unlike you and so it just hits on a totally different level like like a lot of
parents i kept
my kids home from school um we don't have a basement we we can't afford that
but i'm not letting them go
to school and let who knows the balloons could be targeting the schools um they
could be spying on
the schools it's a chinese balloon you don't know what it's gonna do it doesn't
have to obey the laws
of balloon that you get from other countries outside of china go look at the
balloons you have in your
house right now and see where they were made you you better pray to god it's
not china those chinese
balloons do not fuck around they're they want us all to look up and then what's
gonna happen
right i mean if you look around the country i think of the the party city
location near me shut down
no more balloons why is that they don't have they don't have democracy in party
city you know i mean
it's it's it's a monarchy like what china has you know you know what it reminds
me of a little bit
is like how for years so many articles so much concern when the y2k uh was
gonna happen that
everything was gonna get shut down just concern and then it happens you get to
y2k and actually
no big deal this is like the y2k except it actually happened the chinese
balloon the thing that we've
thought about forever as the worst case scenario and here it is above us all
were you like me where
you didn't have to be told that it was shot down that you just unclenched kind
of when it when you
felt that it was gone and then you checked the news and you were right yeah i
mean it's it's like one
one of those times it's hard because this is uh a comedic podcast the jessel
nick and rosenthal vanity project
and i i do an nfl podcast it's kind of silliness it's sports it's not that
silly but sometimes
things stupid it's stupid what you do right things happen it's it's it's it's
idiotic where that whether
it's an arrest or like social justice uprising or now this chinese balloon is a
whole nother level
where it's like what you do just doesn't feel important it's hard to meld those
two things so i'm glad it's
it's gone now and when you think about the the things that the chinese have at
their disposal
you know between the missiles and the planes and the tanks and the hats people
forget about the
balloon and the balloons what worries me more than anything else i worry about
that balloon and there
might be more balloons you can make unlimited balloons if you have the
resources aaron how did
you do was it a gun in the mouth situation aaron i bought a gun because of the
balloon to fire at the
balloon or to take yourself out before the balloon touches down no i duct taped
it to a drone so i was
ready oh you duct taped the gun to the drone to a drone yeah and was there like
was there an ability
for the drone to fire the gun or was it just to show them the gun so they knew
that we weren't
gunless mostly to let them know you know mm-hmm yeah show them the gun what
kind of gun
handgun you know pistol name the name the name the type of gun like exactly uh
h and k 750
oh you got the 750 yeah okay okay i would have gone i would have gone the 850
but that's just me
you gotta justify that price though you know did you find yourself
this for either you just like acting differently because the balloon was there
kind of like okay if it's there i'm gonna throw them off the scent
you know i'm gonna have different behaviors than i normally would
confuse the balloon i refuse to say happy birthday to anyone for the whole the
whole week just what if
that's what triggered it the balloon but uh i'm just listen i'm glad it's gone
i'm glad we as a country
survived the balloon the chinese balloon it wasn't ridiculous at all uh it wasn't
silly in any way
and i just hope the chinese people pay for what they've done with that balloon
it's well said yeah okay let's move on let's move on uh let's get serious for a
second rest in peace
annabelle jeselnik uh my parents dog annabelle uh 18 years old finally finally
passed along it was it
was trending that way for a while my parents loved this dog uh i did not like
the dog for the first
10 years of its life it was a little annoying my my uh my parent my sister was
in law school at the time
and tricked my parents into getting this dog my parents came to visit her she
knew she'd seen this
dog in a pet shop and in a pet shop and got fed my mom some cocktails took her
to the pet store they
nuzzled this little puppy my mom's in love with it my dad shows up they feed
him some cocktails
talked to him about the puppy he gives him the credit card my sister buys it
takes the puppy home it's
gonna be her dog which is fine my sister got a dog good for her in the middle
of the night the dog pees
on the floor my sister gives up on the dog immediately takes the dog to my
parents hotel room where
they're about to leave to go back to pittsburgh says you take this dog my
parents then had to deal
with this dog for the next 18 years and my parents loved the dog that's
ridiculous but the dog would
bark that's ridiculous the dog would bark if someone came in the house or
someone left the house if you
put on your jacket to leave the dog started barking it was this loud what kind
of bark it was a
pomeranian um and there are different kinds of pomeranians this one was a
little high strung but in
its later years it really chilled out it was just my parents were always just
like carrying it holding
it slept in bed with them my parents are very upset but now they kind of have
the freedom back so
shout out to annabelle you were a good dog you did your best my parents spoiled
you you had a great
life and now you were resting uh waiting for rummy who's never coming rummy's
gonna live forever
i've decided well maybe annabelle's hanging out with uh seaweed or our
beautiful turtle that's in the
background of uh my shot if you watch uh on anthony's youtube page you should
you should watch on the
youtube page subscribe you know last week i talked about how i don't care about
the podcast i've got
other things to worry about and the podcast is fun but it's a vanity project greg
and i have a good
time doing it but my focus is on stand-up comedy greg's focus is on uh the nfl
and his family
and a lot of people who put too much into the podcast everything else suffers aaron
could have
a great life if he didn't have this job but he chooses to pour everything into
producing this
podcast and then whatever he has left over he produces other podcasts with and
then deals with
his child um but i didn't people thought that took that to mean i don't want
people to subscribe to
the youtube subscribe to the youtube maybe i'll put stand-up on the youtube who
knows what happens
the next special subscribe to that watch the youtube get our numbers up and it's
strictly an ego thing
yes there's bad podcasts who get like 100 000 views in a week we get like 10
and i want it to change
i demand it changes if everyone who listened audibly watched visually i'd be
happy we got to grow this
bitch without putting any effort into growing it back doing shows again last
week i thought i was better
i was not people i saw comments people being like he still seems very sick i'm
surprised he still did
the podcast you got to get going at a certain point you got to say enough's
enough i've been in bed for
a week i canceled what i had to do now let's get going i'm not going to be 100
but i'm going to get the
wheels moving so once i'm healthy i can deal with the chinese balloon um did
some shows last week and
then i really felt it like the adrenaline combined with not feeling well i just
like felt like pure shit
an hour before the stand up got through the set 15 minutes at the store 15
minutes at the improv
and then felt a little bit better but i was like okay let me take a little more
time i might do one
i'm doing a couple shows this week and then i'm back on the road next week in
louisville i think there
are tickets available for the late show thursday otherwise the other five shows
are sold out
they're going to be selling out guys you got to get on there and again if i see
people saying i want
to go to west nyack shows are all sold out there will be tickets released at
the very end i take my comp
tickets i give them away so keep checking show up at the club the night of
there will be a couple seats if you're just
like one or two people go to the club and say i know it's sold out can you get
us in i bet they can get you in
i bet it happens i'll guarantee it other than that i want to talk about a 