Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cowboy Bootsboy (Full Episode 194)
Uploaded: 2023-03-01T16:53:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cowboy Bootsboy (Full Episode 194)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cowboy Bootsboy (Full Episode 194)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-01. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cowboy Bootsboy (Full Episode 194)

go for it wait wait hold on a second just to start Aaron we're getting notes
about the podcast starting with you saying go for it they don't like it yeah
they're like it just seems sloppy and there's also notes about Greg's oh yeah
getting a little too obnoxious but people are trying to defend them so take
that you know you're you're right I don't like hearing this you could leave
this in if you want we can all we can leave it all in trademark I kind of like
that oh yeah fuel up fast with ready-to-eat nutritious meals delivered
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Tom Brady trying to do stand-up the best wedding surprise ever and rain rain
and more rain coming up
in episode 194 of the Jesselnick and Rosenthal vanity project jrvp junior vice
president we don't
have milk cows people have so many stereotypes of people from where I come from
Oklahoma we don't
ride around in covered wagons either
oh you thought the show uh started sloppy before how about that we're getting
sloppier wow sloppier
ask me where my quotes from where is it from listen I had such a great time in
Oklahoma City this weekend
uh such a great time in Oklahoma City that like Liz got mad at me one point
because she was like
I kept talking about like thinking about moving to Oklahoma City it's great it's
a great it's a
great place I had a great time I only like stayed in certain neighborhoods I
was very cold I walked
around um but I was like I love it here and Liz was like at one point was like
Anthony I like LA I like
where we live in LA and I was like yeah I'm just like talking but I talked a
lot I loved Oklahoma City
so I came back and I was thinking of a quote and I just googled uh best like
quotes about Oklahoma
and this quote from Carrie Underwood came up it just seems like someone's
attacking her that I don't
know when she sounds very defensive that I thought that was very funny well
people come after Oklahoma
they don't you don't know a lot about Oklahoma not a lot of buzz if you went to
Oklahoma City
you'd own that shit yeah I loved it and uh and I would call it like Texas plus
like I just like I
mean not just like the city but it had like cool things to offer and uh cool
things to do and the
people I thought were great um I like when I got off the plane the driver I was
like I kind of bumped
you didn't have an accent you know I want to I was like what kind of what am I
dealing with here but
the more they talked the more everyone talked the more you got a little accent
and I just uh I
enjoyed myself and I have an announcement to make I figured like I should make
it uh on the podcast
guys Aaron Greg oh boy I'm a cowboy boots boy now oh my gosh I'm a cowboy boots
boy I did
notice that yeah I went I went to Oklahoma with a specific purpose of buying
cowboy boots
I brought Liz to Oklahoma City because like we're gonna go and buy cowboy boots
I got a I got a pair
of cowboy boots years ago when I was in Austin I went with my opener Megan Gailey
it's just a cowboy
boot store down the street and got a pair of and I didn't know anything about
cowboy boots at all
but I got a pair of Lucchese's well you gotta learn how to say cowboy boots I
don't know why you just
sort of like run the words together and because it's fun to say I'm a cowboy
boots boy now I'm a cowboy
boots boy now yeah it's fun you gotta get your flow right I'm a cowboy boots
boy
I can't see it it's a tongue twister Aaron give me a cowboy boots boy now I'm a
cowboy boots boy now
yeah you guys aren't as good as me but I talk for a living I'm good at this I
went and I got
these Lucchese's I thought it was Lucchese I found it this weekend I've been
pronouncing it wrong
for years but they're like they're from the 1800s it's like a really old school
they're like nice high
level uh cowboy boots and listen I'm a cowboy boots boy I'm not doing those ropers
I'm not getting
uh western boots I'm getting cowboy boots I'm a cowboy boots boy now and wait
are you still a
cardigan boy mm-hmm I can be multiple things I assumed but you're wearing a
leather jacket right
now so I contain multitudes I'm a leather jacket boy for sure okay leather
jackets cardigans cowboy
boots boy I'm all those things uh but I I went into I I took Liz to the store
we walked in they just
opened this uh Lucchese store in Oklahoma City so we're gonna go there I'm not
gonna buy them online I'm
gonna try them on I found out the the old pair I bought in uh in Austin that I
had to get inserts
for from Lucchese who just sent them to me for free they gave me the half a
half size up so that's why
I had to get inserts I was wearing the wrong size cowboy boots because listen I'm
a 12 you give me
Nikes give me those 12s but in Lucchese's my old ones were 11s these ones are
10 and a half that
I'm wearing right now and they fit perfect so I go into the Lucchese store and
I know the model I
want I know the boots I want I'm top of the line it's an insane insane price to
pay for cowboy boots
but they are they look they're beautiful they're incredible and I walk in and
they're like oh we
don't have those we don't have a lot of things uh you COVID decimated the stock
like they're not
getting the new ones in they just don't have a lot on the shelves uh they have
the stuff on the shelves
but they don't have anything in my size Liz is like I want red ones they're
like here's your red ones
here's your size puts them on right away this kid is he's like a child
basically who's helping us he's
very nice but anything I want he's like we don't have that we don't have that
in your size he's like
what about this check this out I'm like that's great he's like we don't have it
in your size
so I'm like okay I'm not getting cowboy boots and Liz is like are you bummed
and I'm like no I'm fine
oh you know but I'm bummed I'm just trying to put on a game face well Liz pays
for hers and then the
guy who like runs the store I guess he was the guy in charge is watching this
is watching my
interaction with this dude and he's like this motherfucker just wants to buy
cowboy he'll buy
whatever and he goes in the back and like finds a pair of ten and a halves and
shows them to me I'm
like yeah and they were like a fraction of like a small fraction of what I was
willing to pay for the
boots I wanted but I love these I love these even more they're so comfortable I've
been wearing them
like crazy warm on stage every night warm home really you wear them on stage
right right off the
in Oklahoma City yeah oh yeah and I listen I loved I told people I was like on
stage I'm like I love
this place I bought I bought cowboy boots the first day I got here and I'm
loving did you tell them
you're a cowboy boots boy no cowboy boots boys is a podcast thing only I don't
think I could say it
on stage they might be like what's going on I feel like why is the prince of
darkness talking about
how is the cowboy boots boy but I feel like the words cowboy boots boy makes
people laugh no matter
how many times you say it yeah but it's silly laugh it's a it's a jrvp thing
was if I was on stage I
can get silly but cowboy boots with you but why does he keep saying that you
think we ran bones and
all into the ground and we're not done with it yet uh cowboy boots boy cowboy
boots boys bones and all
you know I'll put that out there wait don't you remember we bought or you
bought cowboy boots
when we went to Texas during the hurricane in Louisiana I didn't go we went we
went shopping and
we didn't go I went you went I didn't buy it I'm I didn't go with you because
remember I when we went
there I lost my wallet immediately and so I couldn't do anything so people went
to go do things and I
remember I just stayed back at Kevin Shorpe's house with his family while
everybody went and did stuff
and then people showed up like head to toe like wrangler jeans like the shirt
and like cowboy hat
and boots and I was so jealous I was so bummed and then it took me years to
have the money to
be able to go and buy cowboy boots when I was in Austin and I remember when I
went to when I went
to Austin on uh on Oddball Fest in like 2015-16 I remember I was going to go
with one of the other
comics on Oddball rest in peace Jack Knight and we were going to go and I was
like let's go tomorrow
we're out drinking I was like let's get up tomorrow and we'll go get head to
toe we'll get cowboyed up
and we'll go out on stage and the next morning he called and he was like are we
going and I was
like fuck no I realized that if we both dressed up like cowboys and he went on
he was going on stage
like he was an opener and I was going up late then I'm like the joke's over
when you walk out you can
talk about it and then I walk out like half an hour later 45 minutes later no
one knows what the
fuck's going on so I didn't cowboy up I don't know if I could do the cowboy hat
I'd have to really
be on a ranch and like need it to keep the sun out to do cowboy hat I'm not a
Wrangler jeans boy
I'm not doing I'm not if Brett Favre promotes it I'm not doing it you're you're
not going to uh
get those weird things that like well what is it what is he what's the
sponsorship like it helps
your arm like harness yeah the harness no I'm not doing that blowing it the
only thing I do that
Brett Favre does is send dick pics to people who do that's it otherwise and I I
stole millions of
dollars from University of Mississippi the welfare mm-hmm but uh it'll surprise
you I didn't get
anything when when I went on the bootstrip I just sort of stood around and made
made jokes do you
remember remember other people I lost the entire time we were in Houston uh
fleeing the hurricane
sophomore year I did not have my wallet I couldn't do anything and people would
like people would you
know would buy me meals and kind of take care of me but it really sucked I just
really couldn't do
anything and then we went back to uh to New Orleans we drove back this is where
our friendship solidified
we talked about this in the podcast before we that like eight hour drive both
ways with no air
conditioning just me and you um following our friends in a fully air
conditioned uh really nice car
and uh we get back to New Orleans I have to get a new driver's license a new
credit card a new
everything and then found my wallet uh under the uh front seat of your car I
don't know how it fell out
it was there the entire time I was really I was really mad um but yeah now I'm
I got these cowboy
boots and I went home like I love these boots now I love them and I went back
and I was like online
like looking at what other ten and a halves do they have now that I know my
size I can just go online
to Lucchese I'm not getting other boots I'm a Lucchese boy I'm a Lucchese
cowboy boots boy
no other cowboy boots boy no no other cowboy boots maybe you're saying like you
wanted the hat for
function but it's not like the boot the boot isn't for function but it feels
good I feel good standing
up there I don't get happy feet if I'm wearing sneakers okay you know on stage
I move my feet a
little more that when I go on when I I try to wear heavier shoes you're not
really you you've been
experimenting with the sneakers in there and they're nice but I don't think it's
in you like
I'm experimenting I like if I go to the gym I'm wearing sneakers I just mean on
stage an