Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Temptation Staircase (Full Episode 197)
Uploaded: 2023-03-22T15:39:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Temptation Staircase (Full Episode 197)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Temptation Staircase (Full Episode 197)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-22. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Temptation Staircase (Full Episode 197)

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that's better help h-e-l-p dot com slash jrvp why are you laughing bro there's
just so many there's a lot
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all right that's it a lot of
show though big show including anthony's uh advice for a zombie apocalypse a
rough night at the worst bed
breakfast ever and uh the best ball squeezer coming up on episode 197 of the jeselnick
and rosenthal
vanity project jrvp junior vice president he's a friend of mine and i'd be
proud and happy if he
was to lower himself to fuck my sister and my mother
i just talked so much uh yeah not a great start for you i had to take a take a
little break
let you do the whisper what is that quote from that is from uh the book i'm
going to recommend at the end
of the uh the show i just read this uh great book it's a classic uh noir book
called uh the devil in a
blue dress and uh by walter mosley and i was reading it it's like it's great i
understand why it's a
classic um and at one point there's like the the main character is a black man
and it's like in like
the 40s or the 50s and he's like by the boardwalk in santa monica and these
white kids start like
they're about to like beat him up and he's like fuck i can't fight you know
whitey they're gonna these
kids are gonna kill me and then his like partner shows up this white guy and
pulls a gun on all the
kids and he's like this is my friend and i just when i read the and i'd be
proud and happy if he
was to lower himself to fuck my sister and my mother made me laugh so so hard
that i had to write it
down immediately and uh and use it um that's it did that make the movie i had
never seen the movie
me neither i'd never seen it but i would watch it after reading the book the
book is so good
uh that i would i would check out the denzel washington film of the same name
that's that's true
friendship how has uh your couple weeks off been here from the road it's been
great it's been great
i've been able to go to the gym uh every day i've been able to uh to just relax
i've been doing a
bunch of shows uh the past week or so i'm getting up at the comedy store new
material i've got a couple
i've got like i had four new jokes that i was i was trying out and some of them
work really well
some of them one is like a oh fuck which i always like having a couple of those
in there and the joke
that i thought was going to be the best of all of them no one likes so i think
i've got three out of
the four but it's always uh always a surprise you don't want to give the
listeners to uh why would
i do that jessel nick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp junior vice president
now you don't get a taste
you don't get a taste but i would have decided i will do is when i announce new
tour dates
uh the fall tour dates it's they're getting announced april 3rd but i'm going
to announce
it early um for the for the listener which i actually you know what i don't
know if i can do
that now because next week we are taking off we are off next week so yeah we're
taping this on uh
march 21st and uh goes up later tonight on the west coast and yeah we are
taking uh one week off
then we're back coming strong i think you could do it a little early but you
know if i if i do it
doing it early is doing it right now and just announcing what they are let me
you know what
let me just run through them real quick wow uh so i think i got a couple dates
in mississippi
that have already been announced borgata charleston i got vegas in july cabazon
california
wherever the fuck that is in july um northampton massachusetts burlington vermont
montreal where you
at northampton where i don't know the name of the theater i don't have it here
okay but i'm doing
at the end of july i'm going to do montreal comedy festival and so i'm doing a
couple theater gigs
in the area to get ready for that it's my old neck of the woods western mass
and then i'm not going
to say when the dates are starting in uh this is starting in september and
going through december
i'm just going to name the cities in order new orleans dallas austin nashville
atlanta charleston
chicago detroit kansas city omaha des moines baltimore cleveland huntington new
york montclair
new jersey washington dc denver san francisco new haven bethlehem new york orlando
jacksonville
hollywood hollywood hollywood florida uh i forget what the hollywood florida
tampa portland seattle
vancouver mashintucket boston san diego those are all my dates uh in order if
you hear those cities
and you're like oh i want to go to their april uh april 3rd check out the
website check out twitter
there'll be a link there'll be a pre-sale code uh i'll i'll spoil the pre-sale
code it's jrvp
i thought it was yeah you know what the name of the tour is jrvp no that would
be amazing uh what
is it aaron guess the name of the tour bones and all bones and all i'm shocked
i can get away with
that like why would you be shocked that i can get away with anything well you
can but i'm saying for
copyright despite this cancel culture climate i can do whatever it's a bones
and all title for a tour
move yeah it's not gonna be the name of the special but uh maybe maybe it will
be we'll see
but yeah i had to decide though they're working on the artwork and everything
now and uh announce on
april 3rd but yeah since we're taking off next week i guess i'll just give
people a preview and there it
is that's badass uh i took my parents were excited they're regular jrvp
listeners and uh when they
heard about you playing carnegie hall that was a big deal to them too the
parents are majorly into
carnegie hall they think that's like uh a big moment emico is too but we're
thinking um maybe we'll try
to get out there we're gonna carnegie gallitz during the nfl season which is
always uh tricky i wish you
had thought about that uh but we'll find out we'll find out what day of the
week uh and then maybe it's
possible come if you can my parents are coming i think a lot of people from
from pittsburgh uh local
people are coming my parents were like yeah we're telling people you're coming
to i was gonna go to
pittsburgh over for thanksgiving change that's gonna be next year but uh my
parents have been telling
people you know he's gonna come for thanksgiving and then do carnegie hall and
he said everyone was like
we're gonna go to carnegie hall we're gonna go to new york so it'll be a
hometown crowd i'm looking
forward to it my mom um i know likes to email you here and there she mentioned
something they're in
town right now and she mentioned something that yeah sometimes i i don't know
why but i i send a
couple emails to him i get a little fresh with him and my my dad is like i
think you can take it it's
like it's like a text message because the email address doesn't show up it's
not like little debbie
69 420 at at gmail it is it's just like a phone number but it's to my email and
i'm like is this
spam i don't understand and she sent me two kind of back to back and i i've
deleted them now but the
first one i was like who is this who is this talking to me like this and the
second one i was like i
still don't know who it is i think there was a picture it was like hope to see
you while we're in
town and that was it doesn't say sign her name or anything and then i had to
take the phone number
and i put it into my phone to figure out that it was it was debbie i don't know
why she doesn't sign
her name or just email me or just text me it's got to be this like weird
combination thing that and
i've tried to write her back and say thank you debbie appreciate it but i can't
it's just like
yeah because yeah it's an older person's uh thing of not really understanding
how to use the medium i
like i get a lot of dms on instagram which are just like gifts but there it's
not how you're
supposed to use dms or gifts it's like a it's like a card that i'm opening but
she's sending it you
know it's you know they're old yeah i guess there's a charm to it i just wish i
wasn't like freaked out
for like 20 minutes before i i do the research i'm like who is this right now
what's going on what else
happening what else let me see i mean that's all i've really been doing is like
doing shows and
trying to relax as much as possible going to the chiropractor working on the
jaw i went to a couple
parties uh this weekend it was like i never go to parties i never do i get
invited to parties every
once in a while usually i have something that night it's like oh i'm on the
road or i'm doing this i
usually can't make it and this week i got invited to two on the same night and
i was like oh cool like
two of my two good friends of mine i'm gonna go to their parties and i'm like i'm
gonna go to the
first one like one started earlier one started like five the other one starts
at seven and i'm like i'm an
early guy i show up early i leave early i never want to be the last guy at a
party never i've done
i used to do that a lot i'm just like wasted like hanging out on the couch
watching tv while they
clean up and i'm like that's that's a party foul that's a bad move so i go to
the one party uh early
and i think i'll be there for like an hour or two and then go to my other
friend's party and the first
party was the party it was so much fun that i was like now i've got to go
support my friend at the
other party but i wish i could stay i fucked up i fucked up the order did they
know that they had
a rival party going on i didn't i didn't bring it up i i know i saw a lot of
people at the um at one
of the first party i went to who were going to the second who did not go to the
second you know i went
a couple of us went to the second party and like hung out for an hour but it
was like much louder it
was indoors it was a different it was a different vibe they were both cool but
the first one was much
better that i was like i understand people not going through these parties i
can't i'm not going
to say it did you wear your new rockies hat or is that just for the uh youtube
this is the first
time i've worn this today i was i was not going to wear a hat today but with
the rain getting up
early to go to the chiropractor i was like you know let me throw a hat on i
c