Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Trip Over Your Own (Full Episode 198)
Uploaded: 2023-04-04T16:45:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Trip Over Your Own (Full Episode 198)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Trip Over Your Own (Full Episode 198)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-04. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Trip Over Your Own (Full Episode 198)

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Five pre-rolls.
That was five?
That was five.
I promise to speak more clearly the rest of the show.
You know it's going to be a big one, including a story about breaking into a
daycare to steal diapers, a possible diagnosis for Anthony, and a
recommendation station I'm really excited about.
On episode 198 of the Jesselnick and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
Yeah.
Did you not, does the thing go up during the beginning, Aaron?
It goes up.
Did it go up?
Where you see our images on the YouTube show is what you're talking about.
Well, I was dealing with the fact that the sound wasn't loud enough, so.
It was not loud enough.
It was way off.
So, because the sound was off, you thought, fuck the visuals.
I mean, we could just start the whole thing over.
I tripped on my dick like five times during that ad read.
I'd be happy to start over.
You did trip on your dick quite a few times.
And then that was even before we started the show.
No, we're going to roll with it.
We're going to roll with it.
I already knew that was the answer.
That's how you roll.
Apologies to the YouTube viewers who didn't get to see the cover.
I guarantee it'll come back at the end.
Aaron only has so many hands, and none of them were working.
Well, literally, the video is on my far right, and the sound is on my far left.
If I was cockeyed, I'd be set.
But, I mean, answer this question for me.
Did you correct the sound?
I did, yeah.
At what point did you do that?
Because it still sounded the same volume all the way across.
I didn't want to jam it up while it was playing, so it's fine now.
It's fine now, but when you listen to this, it's bad in the beginning.
No, it'll be compressed, and it'll sound decent.
Great.
You asked me where my quote's from.
Where's your quote from?
John Wick 4.
Listen, we-
Are you in a mood or something tonight?
I mean, you came in seeming like you were in a good mood, but then once we
started, it's-
I am in a good mood.
I'm just, everyone's just tripping on their dicks all around me.
Everyone's, I mean, Aaron's never messed up the one thing before.
He messed up two things at once.
Greg, dick tripping.
I'll go ahead and say it.
So yeah, I'm in a great mood.
I just have to, I've got to deal with all this, all this dick tripping.
Hard apology.
Hard apology.
Thanks.
I mean, listen, I can forgive you if you trip over your dick.
You know?
People tripping over dicks, I'm not going to get mad, but I'm going to call it
out.
You're laughing like you never heard that phrase.
I feel like that's a classic, that's like a broadcasting phrase when you mess
up while
like reading off a teleprompter.
That's a real, it's a real phrase.
I bet if I worked for Roger Goodell, I would say tripping over my dick all the
time too.
It's true.
I guarantee I would say it a lot.
I guess you don't really say it anymore, but I feel like people know.
You knew what I meant.
I knew exactly what you meant, and that's why I like it so much.
It's a phrase I've never heard before, but I get it, and it really applies to
the first
two minutes of this podcast today.
Wait, how is John Wick for?
It's great.
It's great.
John Wick has, Ken and Reese has very few lines in this one, the fewest lines
he's had in any
of them, and most of them are, yeah.
It's so funny to me.
I laughed like the fourth time he does it.
He does it a lot in that movie, and I think that's my quote this week.
I saw John Wick 4 Thursday at 3 o'clock, like first chance I could get to see
it.
I was very excited, and I can't talk about it too much because I'll give
something away,
but it's great.
They're all great.
Have you seen any of them?
I haven't yet.
They're all amazing.
There's like almost too many now, but the first one's one of the greatest
movies I've
ever seen.
A great movie-going experience.
You think you're just there for an action movie.
And about 15 minutes in, something happens.
It's a line of dialogue where I was like, oh, this is different from anything I've
seen
before, and I was so, so on board.
I remember seeing the first one, dragging Megan Gailey to go see it in Tampa.
I was like, listen, it's Friday.
This movie's coming out.
We're going to see it.
I was so obsessed with it.
I think it was one.
It may have been two I took her to see, but I was like, I hope they make a
million of
these, and they made four, and I'm very excited for that.
So yeah, I loved John Wick 4.
And then I hung out this weekend, my last weekend off before I go back on the
road.
We took a week off last week, but we're recording as if everything is normal.
We record it.
We're holding it for like a week.
So Greg can take a week off like weeks from now, but we had to hold it for some
reason.
It's a web of mystery here at the JRVP Podcast.
And so I'm going to talk about things as if we didn't take a week off, but this
is being
held.
I don't think that's bad to say.
It just, for reference, you know, people are like, wait, John Wick came out two
weeks
ago.
No, we just held this episode for a week, and we'll do the same thing next week.
And then a week after that, we get to finally take off.
Yeah, it's a strange tangled web we sit in.
Before you get too far off of John Wick, do you know Tate Fletcher?
No.
Tate is a guy, he hangs out at the store a lot.
He was Rogan's bodyguard for a while.
He's killed by John Wick in the first one.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Like a big one, a big death, or like just a random dude?
He's in the nightclub at the beginning, and he, like John Wick grabs him by the
head
and shoots him in the face.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah.
I mean, I would love to be in one of those movies.
I begged my manager, like, put me in a John Wick movie, and she's like, she had
to work
so hard to get Jason Sudeikis in, who's not in four.
Not in four.
And they were going to do part four and five back to back.
Shoot them all as one, and the pandemic happened, and everything got fucked up.
I think this might be it for John, but I loved it.
Everyone should go see John Wick 4.
Doing better than any of the other ones over the weekend.
Yeah, it's making too much money to not continue to do it.
See the movie.
And then I watched a bunch of shit this weekend.
I watched Babylon, finally.
Damien Chazelle, is that how you say his name?
The guy who did La La Land.
It was like a huge disaster.
It was this giant Christmas Day movie.
Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, hundreds of millions of dollars to make it, and it
bombed.
Like, no one saw it.
It's interesting.
It's worth seeing on, like, Paramount, whatever the fuck.
However, I had to watch it.
And then I watched Yellow Jackets, a season premiere, and Succession season
premiere.
I gotta say, you told me you were gonna watch Succession, did you?
And then I thought, I did.
And then I thought, well, we were not gonna talk about it, because it's like,
it's gonna
be too weird to be out of date when this airs a week from now.
It doesn't matter.
People listen to this, like, years from now, months from now.
When there's a nuclear war, when North Korea finally gets their shit together,
sacks up,
stops tripping over their own dick, and nukes us into the Stone Age, people
will still be
going back and listening to the Jess Lick and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JR VP.
Junior Vice President.
Love that volume.
Watch Yellow Jackets and Succession.
Didn't really give a shit.
Like, I like Succession, but it's gotta get going.
You know, this is a table-setting episode.
I'm excited to see how it all ends up, but I didn't really care.
I'm gonna watch Yellow Jackets, got nothing else to do, but I didn't give a
shit.
I liked the first season.
It was fun to binge.
I don't know about this week-to-week stuff.
I, um, yeah, I watched the first episode.
It's like, they're so, it's so long between seasons, and I had watched all
three seasons
in a row, like, as the last season was happening, because I hadn't watched it
before.
And, you know, it makes sense then.
You realize, like, how much crazy shit happens in such a short time watching
the three seasons
in a row.
But now it's been so long since the last one.
It's like, that, that little, uh, intro before the, like, I, yeah, that wasn't
enough for
me.
Yeah.
You know?
That wasn't enough for me.
A little intro?
You mean, like, the, the recap?
Yeah, the recap of everything that happened.
Like, I, I, you're not as invested right away.
Um, but I do hope to be, like, as disinterested as Logan Roy, uh, was at his
birthday party
someday.
Just at my birthday party to be that, uh, miserable and disinterested.
That was great.
I loved, I loved Greg getting shit on by everyone from bringing that, bringing
his date.
I thought there was some great stuff in it, but after I watched it, I was like,
okay, like,
let's, let's get this going.
Let's get a few more weeks under our belts and we can enjoy succession again.
A big news is when this airs, uh, tour dates are available.
Um, I think if you follow me on social media, which I would think if you listen
to the podcast,
you follow me on something, Twitter, which is going straight to hell.
Twitter is, they're getting rid of the blue check marks.
Do you have a blue check mark on Twitter?
Yeah.
What are you going to do?
Is the NFL going to buy it for you?
No, I don't think so.
I feel like that's when the website really goes off the rails.
I think, I, I don't believe that it's actually going to happen because a lot of
the things
that, uh, Elon Musk has promised or said that's going to happen on Twitter.
Like they do it for like a day or two or they don't end up ever doing it at all.
And then they go back to what everything was before because people get pissed.
So I, I guess I have my doubts this will really happen.
I don't do anything but promote tour dates, but I'm like, once this, once I do
these tour
dates, I might, uh, I'm, I'm not going to like delete, but I'm not going to be
even remotely
active on Twitter.
I don't, uh, I don't care.
But, uh, but I will be announcing on, uh, on Monday, which last Monday,
yesterday, if you
listen to this right off the bat, as you should, um, uh, tour dates have been
announced, uh, go check it out.
I think the presale might be still going on.
Uh, the code is JRVP for the Bones and All tour.
I'm very excited.
And, you know, since I talked about this last week or two weeks ago, when I
read all the
cities and said Pittsburgh had to be held till next year, I got the theater I
wanted.
I'm at the Benetton.
I'm at the big dog theater in Pi