Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Death Was There. And He Smelled Good. (Full Episode 205)
Uploaded: 2023-05-24T18:47:57.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Death Was There. And He Smelled Good. (Full Episode 205)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Death Was There. And He Smelled Good. (Full Episode 205)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-24. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Death Was There. And He Smelled Good. (Full Episode 205)

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that's betterhelp.com slash jrvp that's three pre-rolls we got three great
stories four great
stories we got poop falling from the sky we got a dead body in an arby's
freezer and uh hopefully better
decision making by yours truly all coming up in episode 205 of the jessel nick
and rosenthal vanity
project jrvp junior vice president and he was there of course death was there
and he smelled good
and he smelled good all right what what does death smell like that i don't i
don't know he smells good
i assume when someone tells me they smell good i assume they smell like calvin
klein obsession
that's the only that's still a thing probably that's what that's what i wore in
uh high school
i had a girlfriend you seem like uh i was gonna say perfume cologne guy no i'm
not no but back in
the day in high school no i had i had a girlfriend buy me a bottle of calvin
klein obsession she was
like this is my favorite i love this smell and i wore it a couple times and
then the bottle fell off
my dresser and broke on the floor and i never replaced it and that was my only
that's the only clone i've ever had
i've had girls be like i'm gonna get you a clone we're gonna find you one it's
great and i i don't
care i smell like whatever deodorant i wear you smell great which is like a
sensitive skin deodorant
uh awesome hot what uh is that from that quote that is from a book i just
finished this morning
uh one of my favorite authors is a guy named jim thompson uh he wrote the getaway
he wrote the
grifters he was kind of like a noir where it's like it seems kind of like a
boilerplate noir and
then the last chapter is always some insane like almost supernatural shit and
uh when i read uh
and he was there of course death was there and he smelled good i was like i'm
putting this in
that i'm replacing whatever my quote was gonna be with this i love i love jim
thompson he's been
dead for he died before i was born but his books are uh are great and every
once in a while if i read
something heavy i'll just pick up a jim thompson book afterwards and uh and it's
like you know 200
pages you know read it in a day but i like to kind of uh you're a big noir guy
i almost just picked up
a noir i think it's a noir that you recommended the uh you like craner book don't
know tough
yeah you like that i'm gonna i'm gonna read it but i didn't pick it up yet it's
just thanks for
letting me know buddy good to have you back in the studio um it's great to be
back although you
are telling me you're you're more active on the old uh youtube and whatnot that
we're getting a lot
of pop a lot of people loved last week's episode that maybe it's bad luck for
me to be coming and
maybe i should be working from home you should i mean i think greg i think if
people we want to
like make the fans happy we would just keep you at home that way you're closer
to your mom you know
that way you keep that relationship open did you get any was there we'll get we'll
we can talk about
in the notes or we can talk about it now was there any uh blowback from your
mom or your wife uh no
no blow uh back from my mom or or my wife i i assume they haven't listened i emica
seems like
she's checked out of uh jrvp lately has not really been listening as far as i
can tell and i'm really
happy i just keeping this under the radar my mom will listen and maybe she
already has she knows i
was traveling last weekend so she hasn't she hasn't called me i'm looking
forward to it because we i've
pushed the boundaries of um the things we can say and her responding like oh
that was funny which is
almost always the response so we'll see i've told my mom like don't listen we're
not going to change
things for you i'm not making this podcast for you you don't have to listen and
so that just means
that she doesn't tell me that she listens but i think she must i mean i'm less
worried about my mom's
reaction than my dad's um you can see me as a threat uh you know he i know he
listens so he goes on
these long walks uh and you know where they live and and listens to the the
show and so i'm just
wondering how that hit yeah i mean i listen i i enjoyed it i the uh the social
media team made a
clip of last week's episode and sent it to me and i was like hey this is great
i forget what it even
was i was like this is great but you've got to make a clip of greg talking
about his mom and they did
and i was i was sitting in the green room in buffalo uh this weekend and my i'm
talking to my opener but i
just have a open instagram and i'm watching the clip just like without sound
and i'm just laughing and
she's like what are you laughing at i'm like oh it's my own podcast this clip
came up and it makes
me laugh and then like 10 minutes later we stopped talking i'm just zoning out
on my phone and i'm
still laughing she's like what are you laughing at now and i'm like the same
thing i've been just 10
minutes watching it on a loop just cracking up it uh it made me uh it made me
very happy i thought
maybe the the dynamic of me being at home was also like you felt more
comfortable um beating me down
even the normal like you were you were here you're in the studio all by
yourself unless you count aaron
which we don't um and and you just were we're hitting me hard i mean listen you
were owning the
studio yeah i was owning the studio i like i i'm in charge which is what i
think changes the dynamic a
little bit instead of like us kind of talking it's me talking and bringing you
in but if you had been
in the studio and with that same answer then i would have talked the exact same
it wasn't like i was
able to knock you down a little more you knocked yourself out and then i was
like holding you up
on your feet i wrote i wrote that answer out like uh i mean not like word for
word but i you know i i
read the the emails ahead of time sometimes i i know i'll just answer off the
top of my head but i was
like oh this is i'm gonna write this down because it's the right answer yeah i
mean it was it was
amazing it was a perfect storm of beauty i'm just like it made me think of this
what if greg
what if your dad and your brother switched bodies and the only way you could
get them back into their
original bodies was to make love to one of them which one well i mean my
brother is healthier he's
younger i feel like his body's you know more uh pliable so just sleep with your
brother yeah great
that's it for this week guys uh by the way i explained that scenario to my wife
while at the
while waiting for the band to come on at the concert that night so i can only
imagine what people uh
surrounding us were thinking and what did she think oh she think i went the
right way yeah okay you
yeah i don't remember what you said i don't remember anybody said i just
remember greg's horrifying
horrifying response um had a good week uh was in buffalo last week the uh the
second to last weekend
of the club tour this weekend indianapolis i'm so excited it can't even bring
me down that it's the
same weekend as the indy 500 there's just a lot going on in town like even
trying to get a car from
the hotel to the airport to fly home sunday morning it was impossible the car
service i use where they
were like we don't have any cars there's no cars luckily the comedy club works
something out where
someone's driving me to the airport but uh it's gonna be a crazy weekend i don't
even know what
i'm in for and i i think i told you i don't know if i said on the podcast i got
invited to the indy 500
by one of the drivers he's from pittsburgh and i was like yeah i got i got an
email through my agent
and they were like he would love to invite anthony to come to the race and i
thought about it but it's
my last weekend i'm so excited to get back and just be home and it was almost
impossible to change
flights and uh move my hotel an extra day so i'm just i just said no thank you
and i'm going home
but it would have been fun if i had more going on and maybe i had some people
with me but my opener
this weekend is megan gailey who's from indianapolis and it's bringing her
husband and kid and staying
with her family and they're just gonna have it out so i don't have i don't even
have an opener with
me so i'm endless isn't coming with me so i'm just gonna get home and be done
with these comedy
clubs but i'm very excited buffalo was great always love buffalo always have a
great time there
everyone in buffalo kind of looks the same you know they just look it looks
like
like a white guy a white guy who's losing their hair and really loved high
school that's what
everyone looks like and they're all wearing buffalo which is a thing that i
love they're all wearing
buffalo bills merch yeah 24 7 yeah like everyone was wearing bills gear and
like new bills gear it
wasn't like old shit everyone in pittsburgh has to steal his jersey but people
like people in
and buffalo get like new bills gear sent to them like every week by new era and
it's uh it was
fun i had a great time but i am uh i'm very excited to finish out these clubs
and then get ready
for uh for the theater tour got hired a tour manager which i've never used
before but i'm very excited
about having a tour manager do what isn't that what uh our friend burke is or
no burke is like the
booker burke like gets you the jobs but the tour manager like gets you into the
hotel you know like
shows up for sound check like just makes everything easier so i'm not the one
looking for the car you
know i'm not the one doing all this stuff it's just i look to them and they
tell me what's going on but
i've never had one before john mulaney talked me into it he was like you got to
do it and they're
coming so much easier he or she is coming the whole trip she is coming either
she or and they have
different clients so it's like either she or someone who works for her will be
there with me
on uh so i think starting in september and then every uh every weekend but
whatever can make my life a little
easier i'm going to do and um i'm excited it'll be worth it that's what i view
my role as uh you know as
the host of uh co-host as the jeff jesselnick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp
junior vice president
um again go check out uh check out tour dates anthony jesselnick.com uh things
are selling fast
we're adding shows third shows in some cities which is unprecedented for me but
i i could not
be more excited for it and i'm excited just to like heal up after the this this
club run i went to the
chiropractor today had to go in early and get like a massage from a woman who's
about to go on tour
with guns and roses she's gonna be like they're like back person on the road
they're so fucking old
and uh get a massage my back's falling apart they're figuring that out and uh
is all the traveling
like traveling exacerbating it yeah traveling and just being in these hotels
and it's it'll be it'll
fix itself it'll get there they had to you know relax some muscles but uh i'm
looking for i'm really
looking f