Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Dorkies (Full Episode 211)
Uploaded: 2023-07-12T20:05:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Dorkies (Full Episode 211)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Dorkies (Full Episode 211)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-12. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Dorkies (Full Episode 211)

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Nothing compared to the forklift stealing
Bill Burr seeing pig semen creating beauty
Of episode 211
Of the Jesselnick and Rosenthal vanity project
J-R-V-P
Junior vice president
I'd be Malcolm
Shit
I'd be Michael Phelps
All the brand deals that I'm swimming in
Some hiccups, you know, starting out our last road show there
But you brought the feeling with that read, Anthony
I messed up big time
I was excited
You wanna do it again?
I'd be Michael Phelps
All the brand deals that I'm swimming in
I'm bad
I don't have good flow
I'm gonna admit this now
I'm 44
I can admit it
My flow is not great
Someone had written in to the podcast
To J-R-V-P
Junior vice president at gmail.com
And said, hey, I loved when you were talking about
Was it Flo Millie?
Yeah
Feeling myself I'm conceited
She's like, I love that
You should check out Flyanna Boss
Flyanna Boss
F-L-Y-A-N-A
Boss
The song You Wish
And I did check it out
And I've been listening to it on repeat for 24 hours
And I'd be Michael Phelps
All the brand deals that I'm swimming in
Made me laugh
Also, got your windows fogged up
Cause I'm hot like Nelly
I know what you want
So get in my
Aaron
Belly
That's right
Thank you, DJ Aaron
So yeah, thank you
And I'm down for people sending in songs
I think will like
Do that
Send me recommendations
You really learned Flo Millie from me
I don't know if you remember that
You know
I'm the true Flo Millie fan here
I thought it just came up on a playlist or something
But if you want to take credit for
For Flo Millie
That's fine
But
Flyin' a boss
I'm giving credit to whoever
Sent that in
Thank you
How was
We took it last week off
I mean, we had a podcast
But we didn't
We didn't record anything
We did too
The week before
How was your
Fourth of July in Japan?
I'm still here
I feel like I've been here a long time
It's been three weeks now
I'll be coming back home this weekend
But it was great
It's the Fourth of July
I mean, we're like the loud Americans here
I definitely noticed that here and there
You told me
You texted me
That you saw
You saw Kanye and his wife
Walking around
Like
I did
Right near Emika's
Just walking on the street
We were walking to the subway
From Emika's parents' house
And yeah
Him and
And his fetching girlfriend
Just walked by
No one bothering them at all
Looked very happy
He was wearing his shoulder pads
I didn't bother him
Like what would have been
What would have been a funny
Thing for me
To say
To him
Be like
Hey yay
I'm also on Team Jesselink
You know what I mean
I'm ground floor
On Jesselco
You know
And then you guys would have
He would have taken you out to dinner
I think that's how
He would have given you clothes
You'd be dressed like Kanye right now
And
And you'd be happier
Or just like
Or like
You know
I think he would think was cool
Is if you just like
Pointed at him and went
Jesus
Walks
And then just like
Followed him around
Doing that over and over again
That would be
That would be funny
Or just like
Flashing
Lights
Lights
Lights
Like
I think he would like
I think he would
He seems like he'd be cool
With that sort of thing
He actually
Yeah
He did seem
He seemed
You know
Very happy
It's amazing how quickly
You would just throw out
All the
At least me personally
Would throw out all the
Anti-Semitic stuff
And the Trump stuff
Just like
I was just happy to see him
I would have just melted
Right in front of him
But it all
It all happened fast
I was happy
Emika
Noticed him
Too
Because she always misses it
When celebrities walk by
But as she pointed out
It's kind of hard to miss Kanye
In Japan
Yeah
Not a lot of
Non-Japanese
So she says
You know
When it's a Westerner
She kind of
She kind of
Notices
And he was very Kanye
And with people
Leaving him alone
Because I know
Like the area
What I'm assuming
That you saw him in
Which is near your
Your in-laws place
It's fucking really nice
It seems like a normal street
But then it's like
There is
Is it Chanel
Or it's like one of those
Like Gucci
Or one of those crazy
High-end stores
There's some high-end designer shopping
Which is probably why
He was on the street
Right nearby
On the way to the subway
And yes
So he was probably stopping
At the Prada building
And you think that
You think Kanye was taking the subway?
No
I'm just saying
That's why we were on that street
Like Emika's
A little off that
But pretty much on the way
From her house
To the subways
All those
You know
Fancy
Designer stores
And
And like I said
I do feel
Like we went into this
Nice
Restaurant
But it's like
Run by a Lexus
By Lexus
For some reason
But it's also a museum
This is the type of stuff
They have here
And
And like when I go out
All the food tastes like shit
There's fucking
Tire marks on this
It's amazing
It's just a car in the back
Just doing donuts
It smells like
It smells like burnt rubber
What the fuck
Lexus
This is bad
The thing is
It's amazing
I've always wanted to go there
Because I've walked by there
For years and years
And this year
They had this
Shaved ice
Cotton candy
Dessert thing
That I was like
I've been wanting to go there forever
Let's go
The kids I knew
Wanted to go
And it's Japan
So everything tastes good
Everywhere you go
But when I'm in places
Like this
I have been feeling
More and more
Like we are the loud
We are the loud Americans
Me and my kids
And that's fine
You know
I mean yeah
Wherever you
You and your children go
You're just screaming
Throwing shit around
Getting wasted
I mean we're
We're pretty well behaved
Compared to Americans
But you do
One thing I've gotten used to
After three weeks
Like shit's just quieter here
It's just quieter
I mean it's nice
But it's just quieter
It sounds great
People just
People just
You know
In Japan
Culturally it's different
That people just want to
Just have a little peace
And like
Just like
Just kind of zone in
And take a few minutes
To themselves
Of like personal
Natural silence
Before they jump in front
Of the bullet train
You know
We're in America
Everyone's kind of like
It's like
What are we doing next
Where are we going
In Japan
It's like
Hey
Just appreciate this moment
Before you throw yourself
In front of the bullet train
And I think
Or you walk into
The suicide forest
It's nice
Yeah
Yeah
I mean that's
I think the suicide forest
Is you got to get
You got to go through there
To get to the train
They don't make it easy
They don't make it easy
We were
Taking the Shinkansen
That's the bullet train
Back
Back to Tokyo
Yesterday
And
No matter how many times
You see it
When you're in the station
A lot of times
Just the
The bullet trains
Just go by
But they don't stop
So they're going full
Bullet
And
No matter how many times
You see it
It still sort of
Knocks you out
Because it's going so fast
You think how
Much your body would
Explode if it
If it hit it
And you do notice
There are signs
All over the bullet train
Like
Be prepared
There are sometimes
Sudden stops
And
And you think about
Why that
Why that would be
Yeah
You know
Sign up for throwing yourself
In front of us
Between noon and five
It's
It's fucked up
I'm against it
But I do like
The bullet trains
They're cool
Check out
Bullet train
The movie
On Netflix
I went to
Atlantic City
And
And Charlestown
West Virginia
This past weekend
Atlantic City was great
Always enjoy
The Borgata
They always treat me great
And it was
The Borgata's
20th anniversary
This year too
So we got to do
A double celebration
I enjoy
I enjoy like
Having a career
That's so long
Now that when I go
To places
They're like
Welcome back
Anthony
You know
Good to see you again
How's it going
I enjoy
You know
Working on reputation
A little bit
So Borgata shows were fun
And I had a great
Fan interaction
I want to shout out
The next day
In the Borgata
Like I get to the Borgata
I get late the night before
Do the shows the next day
And then the next morning
I get up
I go to the gym
And then I like shower
And then I get
And then take the car
To West Virginia
And as I'm going
To the gym in the morning
A guy stops me
Like I walk out
Of like the kind of
Secure area
To get to the gym
And as soon as I walk out
A guy stops
I don't know if he's
Waiting for me
But I hear like
Anthony, Anthony
And I turn around
And it's this guy
I'd say he's like
I don't know
Late 40s, early 50s
And he's very excited
To see me
And he's doing this
The right way
He's like
He's giving me
A little space
He's being respectful
He's not trying to hug me
He's not wasting
He's just like
Anthony I just want to tell you
I don't want to bother you
I just want to say
I'm a huge fan
Loved the show last night
I just want to know
Like when are you going to be
On another podcast
Do you know when you're going
Like he wants to ask a question
He's a big fan
He loves me on podcasts
He goes
When are you going to be
On another podcast
And I look at him
And I go
You know I have a podcast
And he did not know
I have a podcast
This guy was the biggest fan
I've ever had
Who just didn't know
And the look on his face
Was like
Oh my god
I'm fucking this up so bad
I can't believe
I didn't know he had a podcast
I can't
This guy's now
Probably at episode 150 now
He probably left that
And just started listening
And I'm sure he's listening to this
Thank you for making me laugh
So hard
He was very nice
Very sweet
Enjoy 211 episodes
Of this bullshit
That you are now
Wrapped up in
I'll see you next time
He must not follow you
On social media
Or maybe you're just not
Promoting the
Justin Nick and Rosenthal
Vanity Project
JRVP
Junior Vice President
Oh I'm promoting it
Way more than I should be
And then I went to Charlestown
And I love
I love West Virginia
When I forgot about
West Virginia
I haven't been in so long
I don't know if I've ever
Done a show in West Virginia
But I forgot that in West Virginia
It's the only place in the world
Where people are impressed
That you're from Pittsburgh
And when I talk to them
Hey Anthony
Welcome to Charlestown
The casino
Are you from Pittsburgh?
Yeah
Yeah
Oh wow
That's great
I'm like
No one says this
No one ever acts like
It's cool
Unless you're from West Virginia
They were all like
Wow alright Pittsburgh
Way to go man
I loved it
More shows announced today
On social media
I've got second shows
Added in a couple cities
Cleveland
We're adding a second show
A bunch of other places
I've forgotten
And then fourth shows
Fourth show in Denver
Fourth show in San Diego
I can't even believe it
And then we announced
Finally
November 10th
I believe
Carnegie Hall
Carnegie Hall
7pm
It's going to be a fun one
It's going to be
A really fun one
I'm going to try
I'm not going to try
I'm going to try
Not to go too long
Because it's Tim Dillon
At 945
So I'm not going to
Bleed into that
But I'm looking forward
To Carnegie Hall
Come for the show
Stay
To meet my parents
Wait what day of the week
Is that
It's a Friday
I want to try to go to that
It's a Friday
Dude that gives me a chance
You should
Not that you're worried
About that but
I would love it
There's going to be
