Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Until Your Knife is in the Loaf (Full Episode 216)
Uploaded: 2023-08-23T15:44:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Until Your Knife is in the Loaf (Full Episode 216)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Until Your Knife is in the Loaf (Full Episode 216)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-23. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Until Your Knife is in the Loaf (Full Episode 216)

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the books we have the magical powers of diet mountain dew what to do after your
divorce and kid rock all
coming up in episode 216 of the jessel nick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp
junior vice president
do not yell dinner until your knife is in the loaf
hey aaron when when you fade into the like the the page or whatever like the
home screen
of our show did you still get greg tank like fighting with the cord yeah okay
great i mean that's fine it's a little uh extra for anyone who wants to
subscribe to uh
the anthony justin like a youtube channel check us out there very steady
viewership it's not popping
up but i'm a pro i didn't want this black cord hanging over uh my white shirt
this whole show so
i got it out of the way that's what pros if you don't watch the youtube you got
to see it this week
to watch greg it looks like he looks like ice cube and anaconda fighting with
the cord on his
headphones what's the knife in the loaf i like that uh do not yell dinner until
your knife is in the loaf
that's a i looked up uh canadian sayings and uh canadian proverb apparently is
not to yell dinner
until your knife is in the loaf i believe it's a don't count your chickens till
they're hatched
sort of thing but i just thought it was a very canadian one of the most canadians
of uh canadian
of all the sayings that they had on this list i mean you're mr canada right now
you can fucking run
for uh prime minister i've been all over i've been everyone i got i got one
more uh canadian city left
i got vancouver uh in the fall at some point but i've been to montreal halifax
famously i am the
drake of halifax and then this last weekend i went to calgary i went to enoch
which apparently
is just edmonton but it's a kind of reservation and then uh i went to winnipeg
um had a great time
had great shows a calgary show was really fun uh great big awesome theater
beautiful old theater
it was weird uh calgary's rigs they were like you can't your show has to be 75
minutes long
with you and your open usually it's an hour and a half it's like a 90 minute
show
and they're like no because of our laws if it's if it's 90 minutes if it's over
75 minutes you have
to take a 20 minute intermission i'm like i'm not taking a 20 minute intermission
for whose benefit
i don't know i don't know if it was like for the theater whatever whatever the
rules were
but they said they get fined a thousand dollars for every minute over 75 to go
and i was like okay
so i mean i'm listen if that ever happens i do my time you got less kelly ryan
you got less opener
she did the 15 i did my 55 to 60 great show my my favorite of the weekend enoch
the next weekend
god love the people of enoch i'm not gonna knock any of the people that people
were great
the venue was like a giant like airline airplane tent like it was fucking huge
sound was maybe the worst sound i've ever uh dealt with on the tour how does
that affect a comedian
the bad sound it could if because you can't hear yourself really i'm just like
thank god the way i
prepared for halifax being in a giant outdoor stage really helped me in enoch
that i was like i'm not
gonna miss a beat i'm a pro i got this and the people were like yeah we can
hear everything's
fine but on stage it sounded so bad uh but still a great show uh a ton of
people everyone had fun
and then the last show in winnipeg was uh was one of my favorites i mean i can't
lose i can't miss
in a theater you gotta come and see me the tour hasn't even officially started
yet bones and all
starts in a couple of weeks wait what are you doing then i've been i've been
getting ready
for the tour i did the i did the club run of clubs that you're doing canadian
theaters and that
doesn't count it's it's the same movie it's just not i'm not on the tracks yet
you know i mean you
get you get in the film but uh but i had a great time i do not love uh
traveling in canada i will say
that i'm excited to be back here i'm pumped to go to vancouver next year i'll
be back in canada
for toronto for sure whatever whatever other cities i missed i will be at but
god damn it guys
you got to get tickets for this tour still tickets available i'm in the home
stretch of
2023 you got september through middle december and the show is fucking awesome
i just hope
things don't get spoiled there are things in my act that i'm hoping get spoiled
the day the special
drops you know what i mean that people are talking about it then and not before
but if you got to talk
about you get excited i've seen some things online i'm not gonna police it
i'm not gonna try to delete people's comments but come and see the show but
just cut that shit out
i'm gonna police it anthony might not um but as you know i've been seeing a
personal trainer now
for off and on for three months having an affair and i'm gonna uh no uh steven's
not my type
and um you know i will police it i'm getting bigger my shirts are a little
feeling a little tighter you
know when you when you and emica talk about you getting a trainer is there any
kind of worry that
you might have an affair like you got steven i got to assume that just for emica's
bet like for her
peace of mind that steven is not asian no he's not he's okay so she can rest
easy no one like
there's no chance that's if anything that's not a thing for me i don't like uh
being painted uh
like that you know emica is the only uh asian woman as you know i mean you knew
some some of my
college um girlfriends not no uh no asians among greg and greg in college was
like was like so anti-asian
woman that said it was it was borderline hateful and it was i mean it was
something we had to get
through and i think eventually did he overcompensate of course we all know that
now but in college
hateful it's like he'd never met one before like it was just i don't know what
happened but uh but
yeah you got over it and now now you're great but what what what kind of person
is steven i mean i
don't want i don't know why we're talking about him i i feel like he said he
had a friend that
listens to the show or something but he wasn't familiar uh what kind of person
is i don't know
he's he's a nice guy he's a guy that would be uh a trainer he's he's from california
what what do
you want to know there's two very smart two kinds of guys chill he's aaron what
how many kinds of
guys are there that are trained there are two what and what kind are they there's
white yeah and other
um which one is he i don't he's someone that you i would i would guess other
but uh we haven't it's
like a little nebulous he's a mystery man yeah i like it i like a mystery man
people get mad people
want to play these games about identity politics give me mystery give me
something i can unwrap
give me something i can think about you know let me hear your last name and try
to guess
right i don't even i don't think i know his last name just know his first name
um we're getting too
deep into it but yeah he could be he could be you know quite tan but i'm
guessing some sort of some
sort of mix that i'm not sure what you got to throw some you got to throw
pepper it in with some
language you got to be like he'll be like all right do 10 reps you go see and
then if he if he's like
what then you know he's not just talk you know talk football mostly um you know
why not it's i just
treat it as like another podcast i don't talk enough i need someone else to
talk now when you when
you're with your personal trainer are you are you like sitting there talking
trying to kind of like
trying to put put off the exercise because there are people with a personal
trainer where they just
start yapping and they like they like i'm doing the hour but they don't work
that hard or are you
like yeah we can talk for a second but let's fucking go somewhere in between
for sure i mean
we're friendly it's somewhere in between and i know like he has a certain
amount of stuff that he
wants to get to in an hour i basically know roughly how fast i need to go so
there's some times
where i need to like slow down the pace or i'm gonna you know i'm gonna die uh
and then when
we chat a little bit a little more and then you know get back into it so how
long have you been
seeing the personal trainer every week twice a week twice a week uh we did it
for like a month and a
half before i went to japan and then it's i guess it's been like a month and a
half since okay a
month since have you ever thrown up at the gym no in your life with the trainer
or like not with the
trainer but ever in your life have you ever thrown up at the gym i never been
to a gym before this
actually except for i like at a hotel i did not expect that answer i did not
expect i mean i played
sports but i never was in a gym i know that's surprising with my uh but i felt
like i was gonna
the first day we got back from japan and i was jet lagged and i hadn't worked
out in a long time
the first day i got back to the house i thought i was gonna throw up and i went
in front of the
toilet and like tried to but i couldn't i threw up my first time working out
after japan and i've
thrown up a couple times with a personal trainer like really pushing you and i
just like didn't
i wasn't healthy making healthy choices the night before it's crazy you feel
like almost like you
accomplished something but it's also bad don't do it if you can help it isn't
that right evan that's
right i've uh i've never thrown up after working out really and i've i've done
some hard during i mean
during working out is usually it's like afterwards no never done no yeah i used
to yeah i did cross
country i feel like we puked sometimes occasionally here and there push on a
crazy run that's about
the last time i would think so but i was in college uh i was a prolific um puker
you probably don't
really remember because it's not like something i advertised but it was just
like part of my
going out experience like at 1 1 30 kind of pull the trigger and pull the
trigger in the bathroom
and then keep going it's amazing that that you people you looked at throwing up
in college as
losing a little bit of money as like oh i spent 10 bucks on these beers now
that's all over my shoes
how am i going to get this 10 bucks back you know maybe i can get it on a
picture with someone that
was like all i ever thought it was never like okay time i didn't think about
that i did i just thought
like oh no i wish i hadn't spent so much money i just knew my body um was
excited it was excited to
have this two week break before i the you know the september kicks off and it's
you know three four
cities a weekend every weekend uh through december and i'm really looking
forward to all this see the
two shows you know tons of tickets being sold uh i'm excited i've got a whole
crew liz is with me
i got photographs guys of every show i got a tour manager coming on i'm so
fucking pumped for that
i got great openers uh but i'm so excited for these two weeks and all i want to
do is get home
after the show in uh in um winnipeg i'm just excited to get home i can sleep in
a little bit
but i know this hurricane's coming everyone's talking about the hurricane
hitting california
and los angeles and i'm like there's no way i'm getting home you just don't get
to fly home
in the middle of a hurricane hurricane it does not happen they cancel ship for
that but i'm flying
from winnipeg into m