Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Cleveland Rocks (Full Eps. 221)
Uploaded: 2023-10-11T16:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Cleveland Rocks (Full Eps. 221)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Cleveland Rocks (Full Eps. 221)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-11. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Cleveland Rocks (Full Eps. 221)

rolling oh yeah three pre-rolls today starting with jamesallen.com the online
destination
for designing a customized engagement ring that she'll love easier than you
ever thought possible
get 25 off your order when you go to jamesallen.com and use the code jrvp that's
code jrvp
at jamesallen.com for 25 off jamesallen.com we also have a special limited time
deal for our
listeners to get you started right now at babble.com 55 off your babble
subscription at babble.com
slash jrvp if you want to speak another language learn it this fall be the
exception not the rule
get 55 off at babble.com slash jrvp spelled b-a-b-b-e-l.com slash jrvp rules
and restrictions
you know they apply finally we got our friends at helix back they're offering
20 off all mattress
orders and two free pillows for our list there you should never have to
compromise on comfort
helix has mattresses with cooling technology that helps regulate your body
temperature whatever the
season go to helix sleep.com slash jrvp this is their best offer yet it will
not last long with helix
better sleep starts now three pre-rolls from the house anthony up in uh burbank
with aaron
and we got a lot of good stories like the worst loss in sports history a 13
foot long cat eating python
and uh our retirement plans coming up in episode 221 of the jeselnick and rosenthal
vanity project
jrvp junior vice president i got some records from world war ii
i play him just like my granddad do he was a rocker and i am too oh cleveland
rocks yeah cleveland rocks
anthony antony in that clean new looking dodgers hat that's right i got it uh i
got it this week to go to the dodgers game last night which i will i will talk
about uh i'm not i'm not a good luck charm for the dodgers
in the come playoff time historically if you go back to last year and then this
year but hopefully i get to see another game
um
i got it uh i got it uh i got it this week to go to the dodgers game last night
which i will i will talk about uh i'm not i'm not
a good luck charm for the dodgers in the come playoff time historically if you
go back to last year and then this year
but hopefully i get to see another game um i got we got a bunch we want to talk
about uh you know we we did a podcast last week but i
still feel like a lot happened this week we want to get into i definitely want
to talk in depth about cleveland get on the record about
some things but first greg and i talked uh before the episode and even though greg's
not in the studio if you can tell the sounds a little different
uh it's because greg is at home right now he's got to take a flight a little
bit later so i am ruling the kingdom
i when it's a different kind of episode when it's me in the studio and greg's
at home i have more of the power position
you know not that i don't have the power position when we are both in the
studio but i rule with an iron fist when greg is gone
he wants to talk so bad right now and he cannot but greg and i did discuss what
we would do this episode and we thought we'd do something different
normally we talk about our week we go into some emails and then we get into
headlines but this week
greg and aaron and myself all decided that we would talk about the middle east
and what's been going on
in the middle east and more importantly solve some things as greg likes to say
we're gonna solve some things
this episode don't turn it off don't fast forward rewind and listen to the
beginning of this again now we
want to start it off aaron would you just take as much time as you need okay
five ten minutes if you
need to we want to get this right but just describe for the viewer at home the
listener what's going on
over there who's the good guy who's the bad guy who you backing in this one
uh there's no there's no winners here man it's all bad okay okay greg what do
you think uh good guy bad guy
black and white who is it who you got who you supporting on this one well i
think aaron's right
you know militarization from any country is you know going to lead to uh the
loss of lives but i think
ultimately the good guys here are us because we're addressing the issue we're
talking about it
uh i i saw that the second avenue uh delhi in new york which i used to go to
you know sent out an
instagram message noting all the people in the world with the most followers
who have not commented
on this at all we're not on that list we have that amount of followers but they
knew we would comment
on it on the next uh jeselnik and rosenthal vanity project jrvp jrvp junior
vice president that's right
you know social media doesn't have the bandwidth to do what we're doing right
now which is discussing
the issue and letting you know once again who's the good guy and who's the bad
guy aaron what did you have
again there's no winners here man there's no but who's the good guy who's the
darth vader and who's
the luke skywalker there i don't know that there is one it's all wrong who's
the mark hamill and who's
the james earl jones you know what i mean like greg coin flip just pick one who's
the good guy who's
the bad guy just throw it out let's do a debate aaron you pick one side and say
they're the good guys
and the other side's bad and then greg you do the other one and i'll decide
which one of you
is going to get canceled i'll say this i'll say this i don't understand
anything
um i don't know all i know all i know and i can say this with confidence
is you got to knock it off with the missiles yeah you got to knock it off with
the missiles
you don't need them it's too much yeah you got guns you got knives you got sand
you could throw at
each other there you got other options than the missiles i'm sick of it yeah i'd
say the bad guys
are the missiles yeah yeah yeah yeah any other i mean i would say you don't
need the guns either
i think just knives will take i guess lesser of three evils you see here's the
thing the difference
between guns and missiles you can't put a flower in the stem of a missile it's
useless yep it's true
greg what can you do with the gun you can put a flower you can put a flower
right in the barrel of
the gun yeah have it sticking out you could also put like a flag if you want
and when you press the
trigger it comes out and then the flag says like pow i always like that oh i
mean it's always a crowd
pleaser people love it i got to start working that into the live show that and
the the knife the
the switchblade that was actually comb those two are classics that every kid
should have in the streets
um i think i think we solved it i think if it's not solved this comes out right
after this comes
the video comes out wednesday afternoon if it's not solved by friday they're
not listening they're
not subscribed so anyway um dodgers game last night i went aaron did you go no
no did you go saturday
sunday what was it no i haven't i haven't gone you haven't gone would you go i
would yeah oh yeah i i
wanted to go i wanted to see let me see if i can see a playoff game i'm excited
dodgers got blown out
saturday and i'm like that's maybe this is a good thing for me maybe it's good
maybe that means the
dodgers are going to rally and put a put a hurtin on the diamondbacks that is
not what happened uh three
run first inning buried us never recovered exciting game a lot of chances yeah
a lot of fun i enjoyed
myself i got good tickets i i deserve good tickets i appreciated it but uh i
feel bad for our boys but i'm
still wearing the hat aaron that's dedication it's more for the fit when when
did it turn into us you
just said us i live in la okay i got dodgers on my forehead it's i it takes me
25 minutes to get from
my place to the stadium i it's us mookie freddie i know them all um other than
that let me get to and
before i get into what greg's week was greg anything happen with you this week
before i get into the big
story no go to the big i want to hear about cleveland let's hear it okay so i i
i had an
interesting weekend this last weekend and i knew going into it it was going to
be a bit different
normally i go out on shows one or two shows thursday one or two friday one or
two saturday this
weekend i'm going to uh huntington new york i think montclair new jersey washington
dc two shows
each night thursday friday saturday it's a busy night in baltimore and cleveland
i had baltimore
thursday night amazing show people of baltimore were incredible uh packed house
loved it just one
show early got to go to dinner afterwards then the next day i have off i get i
have to get up super
early and flying to cleveland and i go do theo von's podcast and actually that
came out today go check it
out if you if you haven't uh haven't uh heard about it already uh but i go and
he we're recording it in
the theater he's he's there uh on saturday night and then i'm he's there friday
night i'm there saturday
and friday during the day i go over there and they have cameras set up and we
do a podcast real quick
i'm sure it's people seem to like it uh from the comments i've seen today i don't
know what we talked
about i was my back hurt so bad and i was exhausted and i had a good time i
like theo but i don't
remember anything people seem to like it check it out theo's telling me hey
this theater is weird
they just sold it like it was just bought by someone to put shows on in for 750
000 it's a
huge there's like multiple theaters in the venue it's this giant place and they
keep bragging about
how it was only 750 000 i'm like that doesn't sound good that doesn't give me
faith in this venue that's
weird and theo's like it's gonna be hot as hell on that stage like there's no
ac in here this place
is kind of fucked it's gonna be really hot so i'm preparing for that i show up
saturday night
it is freezing and the weather seems fine the weather is fine when i get there
i go when i do
sound check it sounds okay it's an old place but i'm like all right whatever we
can deal with this
during my opening act i feel like something's a little off about this place
like it's it's the sound
the sound just seems weird but i'm like whatever i've had weird sounding things
before i walk out there
and it sounds awful to me but i don't know what people can hear people are
still laughing jokes
are working and all of a sudden i started to hear this like rumbling above my
head in the theater
it sounds like a roller coaster is going on above my head like moving things
around above me and it's
like a theater so it's like just giant lights and things right above my head
and i'm like what the
fuck to the point where i get so distracted i walk over to my stage manager and
i'm like what is that noise
and they're like we don't know we think were you on the stage i'm on stage i'm
on i'm like five
minutes into my set in between jokes i walk over and i'm into the mic i'm like
what is that because
i think the audience can hear apparently in between the this guy comes with me
he's like oh they can't
hear that it's just above you it's from the wind it's an old building i'm like
that doesn't make
me feel better so they're like we it's we don't know so i keep doing my set i'm
ignoring the noise
and then i start to hear electrical sounds like sparks behind me i hear like a
banging noise and
i'm like what is happening and 10 minutes into my set almost exactly i'm
telling a joke that i'm
very proud of that i'm excited to hear the response of the crowd and right as i
get to the punch line
i hear like a loud snap and everything goes silent lights go out everything's
done and i'm like what
the i'm standing there waiting for it to come back on i'm like is the backup
mic they're like it's the
power power's out so after like a minute or two audience like keep going keep
going i just walk
off stage like give me five minutes and everyone's like we we don't have
anything we can do the whole
block is out power wise we've got a little bit of light in here i don't know
what we can do we can
wait a little bit and see if the power comes back on after a little bit we're
like it's not coming
