Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Blackout Windows (Full Eps. 226)
Uploaded: 2023-12-06T17:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Blackout Windows (Full Eps. 226)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Blackout Windows (Full Eps. 226)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-06. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project/ Blackout Windows (Full Eps. 226)

Roll it.
Oh yeah, five pre-rolls on this special holiday season.
It's starting edition.
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loungewear, and pajamas shop.
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Right now for the holidays, you get 25% off site-wide,
25% off everything for a limited time at TommyJohn.com slash JRVP.
I'm using this promo code, TommyJohn.com slash JRVP.
Need some new ones.
See site for details.
Also, going to use my Helix code.
Get another bed.
You should never have to compromise on comfort.
Helix has mattresses with cooling technology that helps regulate your body
temperature
whatever the season.
Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our
listeners.
Go to HelixSleep.com slash JRVP.
This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long.
With Helix, better sleep starts now.
You want to be bilingual?
Fuck yeah.
Start learning a new language this year.
Be the exception, not the rule.
Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners to get you started right
now.
Get 55% off your Babbel subscription at Babbel.com slash JRVP.
You get 55% off at Babbel.com slash JRVP.
That is spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash JRVP.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
You know they do.
And finally, we're always thanking AG1 every week because we drink AG1 every
day.
Helps my energy.
If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1.
Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of AG1 and a vitamin—you get a free
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That's DrinkAG1.com slash JRVP.
You got to check it out.
But you don't start checking out the next read until you're done, or you might
step on your
dick like I did.
Five pre-rolls, Anthony.
He lets you know it's holiday season.
We're celebrating with Tosh Talk, Pooping on a Possum, and the worst thing you
can give
to a thrift store, all coming up in episode 226 of the Jesselnick and Rosenthal
Vanity
Project.
Damn.
Junior Vice President.
Oh, wow.
Sorry, guys.
It is really—do we have to redo the whole thing?
Starting from the first pre-roll.
I actually think we have to cancel Christmas.
This is the longest buildup to the song we've ever had.
Let's say it again.
The Jesselnick and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
Hey, Santa Claus.
Suck on this.
But you told the listeners on episode 225 that we were going to tape two in one
day.
Yep.
This is number two.
And so you ruined the mystique I was going to create by changing my outfit and
just wearing
a t-shirt for this one.
You also said before we started, this could be 20 minutes and you'd be fine.
Well, we've already done five with all those pre-rolls.
15 to go.
That's great.
Yeah, two back-to-back again.
A lot of travel.
Leaving tomorrow.
Doing two—I'm not going to be here next Tuesday.
I'll be going to Boston.
And then things clear up.
So, yeah, I know the—thank you, loyal listeners, for listening while I've
been touring.
Greg's been doing football stuff.
And Aaron has just been shitting the bed all over the place for no discernible
reason.
But I promise you things will clear up in the podcast, loyal listeners.
We're going to have the special things for you.
We do have your special content.
I mean, what's the special things?
The fact that we're still doing this.
I mean, we have been doing it now for, what, four years?
Five years?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I'll be happier in a couple weeks.
Just know that.
I'm getting through this.
I'm white-knuckling it through this podcast.
Five pre-rolls?
Aaron, how much money is that for us?
Oh, upwards of $7, $8.
$7 or $8 more than that.
Divided between two people.
And then, of course, we give Aaron his cut.
Aaron, what's your cut?
Half a penny.
Half a penny per dollar.
That's right.
So, you're cleaning up, too.
We're all doing great.
Listen, we don't have things to talk about.
We just taped an episode.
I'm going to go back in time.
We could always just have a conversation.
I went away.
I went away for a couple weeks.
I went and did a bunch of shows where I was gone out of Los Angeles.
The two big ones, last week I talked about Pittsburgh.
That was a great show for me.
Personally, seeing all friends and family there.
It was fun.
The other great show, one of the best shows of my life.
Definitely one of the best of this tour.
I think the best show of the tour, I would say, Chicago.
Chicago Theater.
Those two shows were insane.
I was so happy.
The close second is Carnegie Hall.
And a lot of times when I'm performing, it's almost like you get through it.
You look at the dates.
You're like, all right, let me get through these dates.
And occasionally you're on stage and you're like, well, I'm really enjoying
this.
This is fun.
It's usually the last show of the tour.
Otherwise, you're just all business.
Carnegie Hall.
You mean the last show of the weekend?
No, the last show of the tour.
The weekend and the tour.
But it's like the whole tour, you're like, wow, I'm really, this is so great
that I've gotten to do this.
I felt like that the entire time I was on stage, even for the rehearsal
beforehand, the soundcheck.
Being backstage was great.
Carnegie Hall is one of those theaters.
I don't know if you've been to places like this where everyone's super fucking
strict.
Everyone takes their job real serious.
You can only go in certain places.
Can't go into others.
You got to have your past.
Got to do this.
Everything's got to be exactly the same.
No drinks on stage.
They were the most of that.
But it was charming because it's Carnegie Hall.
And then being on stage, getting to introduce my parents to the crowd, having
them stand up was amazing.
They brought a lot of friends.
We had an after party afterwards where my parents got to meet my business
manager, my agent, my manager.
And everyone had a blast.
You talked about losing your voice from doing too many podcasts.
Everyone walked out of that after party with no voice.
It's loud.
It's a New York bar.
Everyone's partying.
It was awesome.
Shout out to Isaac Fitzgerald, my new friend who came, the author of Dirtbag
Massachusetts, who came.
We talked books for a few minutes.
We had to catch up with some random people.
But it was an amazing time.
People have responded to my social media post about the night.
Where I posted some great pictures Liz took, some awesome photos from Carnegie
Hall.
And I had said that everyone was great at the New York Comedy Festival except
for one person who I want to strangle with my bare hands.
And people have said, I saw the comments being like, I can't wait to hear the
podcast to hear what he's talking about.
When I agreed to do the New York Comedy Festival, when I liked the New York
Comedy Festival a lot.
I taped my last special at the New York Comedy Festival.
I've done many shows with them.
I like them as people.
They made a big mistake.
They made it a long time ago.
And they fucked up.
And I was extremely gracious about that mistake.
I was like, it's fine.
I'm going to put my big boy shoes on.
I'm going to go do my show.
I got family coming.
I'm going to enjoy the show.
I was told there would be certain things that would happen because I was so
gracious.
One of those things did not happen.
When you are talking to someone who works for me, you're talking to one of my
employees.
If you're a sponsor and you call Aaron on the phone and you talk to him in a
less than respectful way, I treat it as if you're talking to me that way.
If you talk to my tour manager in a disrespectful way, it's like you're talking
to me that way.
If you talk to my tour manager in a disrespectful way in front of my agent,
Mike Berkowitz, you're going to lose your job.
Mike Berkowitz just takes out his phone and starts sending an email as you are
dressing down my tour manager.
There was no reason for it.
And listen, there was reason for it.
The person who was losing their job, I wish you nothing but the best.
You were put in a bad situation.
I hope you work somewhere else at a different festival and have a great time.
You were put in a bad situation by the festival who did the thing they did to
me in the first place.
Again, I'm not going to get into it.
But the guy should not have talked to my tour manager like that.
He shouldn't have said what he said.
And I did not complain.
When I did my show, my tour manager didn't complain.
An email was sent by Big Dog Berk and I made my comment on social media.
That guy is no longer there.
Dang.
Things were solved.
Again, New York Company Festival, you're cool, but you know what you did.
You fucked up.
And I'm okay.
I'm happy.
Tour manager's happy.
Everyone's good.
But be careful how you talk to people.
The Berk died, biked.
Our mutual friend.
To talk to someone in front of my agent is a death sentence.
So I'm sorry you lost your job.
I want more specifics.
What did they say to your tour manager?
How would you describe the tone at least?
Impatient.
You've got to hurry it up.
Why are we holding?
We need to go.
We need to go.
And that should not have been my Carnegie Hall experience.
And again, it wasn't people protecting me from these things.
I don't hear about this until afterwards.
It was not in my head during the show.
But this guy had to go.
And thank you, New York Company Festival, for listening to me and my agent.
Otherwise, again, it was a magical experience being on that stage.
It was fantastic.
I had some streaming services vying for my services for the next special.
And a lot of them came to Carnegie Hall.
And one of them, who before we had this meeting, I have a meeting with a
streaming service.
And they're like, we want to get into this.
We really want to launch our thing.
We think you might be the guy.
And I'm like, oh, I'm totally the guy.
And here's why.
Here's what this new hour has that you should totally want to do this.
And they're like, they were so excited.
They're like, you're so smart.
This is so great.
And they see the show on Friday.
Like, that was amazing.
And then on Monday, they're like, we can't.
We just can't.
We're not even going to put in an offer.
We can't work with this.
And I was like, great.
I've never had a bigger compliment given to me by a network.
So no surprise, but you will be able to see my next special, which I will film.
I can say this now.
I will film it in May.
I will film it in Milwaukee.
Wow.
I was thinking about Philadelphia.
It was a theater, a beautiful theater.
And again, I love Philadelphia.
I love Minneapolis.
I was thinking about Minneapolis.
It ended up being Milwaukee for several reasons.
Nothing to do with the people.
But I will film a special for Milwaukee.
And I hope that late next year, probably in the fall, you will be able to see
it on Netflix.
Oh, wow.
Yep.
Congrats.
So Netflix wins.
There was some other competition this year.
People were getting into it.
One couldn't hang.
And the other one could not afford to take me from Netflix.
So it's going to be Netflix next year.
I believe it's going to be called Bones and All.
That is my news.
It's pretty exciting.
It was fun.
Pretty exciting news.
It was great that my parents could come and then hang out for a couple of days
afterwards.
And my parents were so happy to be in New York.
They'd be walking around.
We'd get them a bagel.
And they'd be like, we're eating a bagel in New York City.
I'm like, oh, we're eating a bagel in Washington Square Park.
They were just so happy.
Everything was great.
The dinners were fun.
Any other friends around?
I'm trying to think.
Because we lived in New York together at the same time.
Although, I don't really think of you as...
I don't think of you first when I think of New York.
Because you were kind of in and out.
And you were touring.
And it was a brief time.
But did you see any friends?
What was the rest of the time in New York like?
I saw, I mean, a couple...
I had some old