Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Kangaroo Jacked (Full Eps. 227)
Uploaded: 2023-12-13T17:13:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Kangaroo Jacked (Full Eps. 227)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Kangaroo Jacked (Full Eps. 227)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-13. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Kangaroo Jacked (Full Eps. 227)

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Uh.
Talk to Anthony a little bit before the show.
He seems rested.
He feels fresh.
Uh, and he's ready to talk about a badass Siberian tiger, uh, an old woman
falling down a well
and how Anthony originally became an asshole.
All in episode 227 of the Jesselnick and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
Park the car in Harvard Yard.
It's not that hard.
Ha, ha, ha.
Starting a little late tonight.
Had to, uh, due to, uh, rehearsal schedule of mine, uh, we had to come in here
at 8 p.m.
Uh, Pacific time.
Make Aaron come in, uh, leave his daughter and wife outside their home shivering
to come
here and help us do this.
Thank you, Aaron.
We're sorry the episode is late tonight.
Uh, but listen, we're back.
It's live.
We're back in.
We're doing it week to week.
My long national nightmare of being on the road a little too much is now over.
I do not have to get another airplane for the rest of 2023.
I'm driving to San Diego on, uh, on Thursday for four sold out shows.
And, uh, right after the late show Friday, I drive back.
I, uh, I go home and get home late, late Friday night.
Saturday, I've been invited to go see Queens of the Stone Age, uh, at the forum.
I'm going to do that.
I'm very excited about that.
And then I am done.
Fucking done.
What am I doing for Liz's birthday?
Not a goddamn thing.
That's not happening.
Christmas?
Yeah.
I might.
The fact that I've got to go with you to the NFL and sit there.
What are you talking about?
What's the game?
What's the game Christmas day?
It's a great game.
Is it?
Ravens 49ers.
It's the nightcap, the one I'm working.
But you're not, you're not really going to go to the NFL studios and, and watch
me.
I would have hung out.
I mean, listen, they'd be, they'd be happy to have me there.
And I would just be like, I'm just, but I, but I might not.
Chances are I'll be spending Christmas with my dog.
Liz is going home to visit family.
Uh, we have, again, our birthdays are December 21st and 22nd.
Uh, and then we'll celebrate those.
And then, uh, she will take off and I have, I would just have dog time.
I have a sporting event you might want to attend.
Whoa.
Whoa, Aaron.
You need to clear your throat there?
Yeah, just a little.
Uh, Connor McDavid will be here, uh, December 30th.
Get the fuck out.
Yeah.
You know, actually, I saw, I saw Connor McDavid play the Kings last time, last
year, when I
went.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He was with the playoffs, yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh.
I did too.
It was great.
I, I would do that.
Uh, yeah, we're around.
We'll talk post-show.
Christmas.
The family is gone.
Uh, I know you didn't want to go see Lakers-Celtics on Christmas
Day, but maybe I'll try to continue.
I went to, I went to a Christmas Day, uh, Lakers-Clippers game with my brother
once and
we left at halftime.
It was just, it was more of a family thing than even normal there and I wasn't
into it,
but I did last year on my birthday go see, uh, Calgary Flames versus the Kings
and that
was fun just to beat a game.
So, we'll see what happens.
We'll do something.
Uh, let me explain what happened to me this weekend.
People, listen, I've been burning the candle at all the ends.
I threw the candle into the fire in September and then just watched that bitch
melt.
And it's been tough, but I've been doing it and I'm seeing the end coming up
and I was
very excited to go to Boston.
Uh, doing six sold-out shows at the Wilbur was a big deal to me.
I was pumped.
I was excited to go to Foxwoods.
Always enjoy Foxwoods.
When it was going to be kind of a easy weekend because I could just stay in the
one hotel in
Boston and just be there for a week.
I was pumped.
At the end of last weekend or the weekend before with, it was, uh, uh, Portland,
Seattle, Vancouver.
Liz gets a little sick.
I feel, I'm feeling a little sick, but I'm like, I'm okay.
I'm better than Liz.
And I'm like, things are coming and going as we go.
I'm testing myself for COVID whenever I feel like I need to, you know, and then
I, I'm
always negative.
I have not had COVID the entire time that COVID has been a thing like emails.
And because I'm, I'm not feeling well before I leave for Boston, we can, Liz
and I COVID
test at home COVID test negative.
And I'm like, okay, but I'd like to see a doctor because I'm doing this TV taping,
which
is tomorrow now, uh, this Wednesday.
And I don't want to be, and I don't want to like get worse by doing all these
shows in
Boston.
So right.
We land Tuesday night in Boston.
We go to sleep Wednesday, uh, 2 PM.
A doctor comes to our hotel room to look at us.
And I'm like, just give me what you need so that in a week I'm good.
You know, I just want to make sure, but I think I'm, I think I'm, I'm not too
bad.
How does that work?
You just call a doctor and they come to our manager, finds a doctor to come to
the, make
a house call.
It's expensive, but it's like, it's, it's what I had to do.
And I don't do this normally.
I'm normally just like, let's, let's get it out.
And within five minutes, she's like, you both have COVID.
You both have COVID.
We talk about when we, when we started to feel symptoms, like now that we've
realized we
have it.
And she's like, I bet you have, you have like two or three days and you should
be
good.
Um, and it was the kind of thing where if I'm lying down, which I did for like
the whole
time, I feel fine.
I'm like, I wouldn't know I was sick.
I stand up and I'm feeling it.
I walk up two stairs and I'm really feeling it that I was like, oh, this is
what COVID is.
I've heard all about it and had to postpone one show Wednesday night, two shows
Thursday.
And then my Foxwood shows.
I hated to do it.
I hated to cancel that Cleveland show because of the weather.
It sucks.
It feels like a total failure just by having canceled.
I'd rather have a bad show than cancel a show.
So like I'm sitting around Boston in this hotel room, a nice place, resting,
drinking tons
of fluids, trying to get this out of me.
We're going on walks, you know, with the masks and it just, it didn't feel good.
It didn't feel like a night off.
It felt like failure.
I hated it.
And so I was able to do, I tested negative Friday night and was able to do my
Saturday
shows and my Sunday show.
And it just sucked to even get the paycheck at the end of the weekend and think
of how
it would have been double.
You know, I was mad.
I'm going back.
That's what you were mad about?
The whole thing, it just, it left a bad taste in my mouth.
It didn't seem like I accomplished anything, even though I did three great
shows in Boston.
In Boston, I've forgotten.
Every show was late show Friday in Boston.
The heckles I would get were so funny.
A woman on Sunday, and I'm killing.
So anyone who yelled out, like someone yelled out, I'm like, I mentioned
Alabama.
And some guy just screams out, Boston's more racist than Alabama.
And I was like, why did you say that?
I wasn't talking about racism.
I wasn't talking about Boston.
Why did you yell that?
A woman yells out in the middle of the Sunday show.
I'm like 15 minutes in.
And she's like, what neighborhood do you live in in LA?
Just like that.
Like two rows back.
And I'm like, the shut the fuck up neighborhood.
The one you can't afford.
Like, do not talk again.
And then I see a security guard go over to him, but you can't talk.
And she goes, I don't have to listen to this.
Like talking about me.
And her, she was with her husband or like a group of guys who were not going,
to leave.
So she was like, I don't have to talk to me.
Like, yeah, you do have to listen.
Like, you can leave if you want, but you have to do this.
So she just sat there texting herself while her, while the guys at her table
were loving
me that I was like, this is Boston to me.
It's just like, someone's got to be weird and entitled.
But I loved it.
I enjoyed all the hecklers in Boston.
I loved that theater.
It was really fun.
I'm so sorry that I, that I got taken down.
I guess COVID's going around again.
Again, first time for me.
First, first time for Liz.
We were shocked.
And again, the at home test was negative before I got, I would have loved to
have like, I
would have preferred to not get on the plane, you know, and just have the whole
week at
home with my dog.
Instead, I'm in a hotel room locked away with a mask.
So that really sucked, but what made it all better was Sunday night, got a
little visit
from Tom and Debbie.
Big Tom, little Debbie made the drive.
He got, he got picked up, had a chauffeured car, take them from the vineyard to
Boston.
My parents.
Greg's parents and came to the show.
And then I took them to dinner afterwards with Liz and my opener, Kelly.
And I did the thing at the end of the show where I'm like, I've got special
guests here.
I don't know where they're sitting, but the special guests, I'd love you to
introduce
them to you.
Ladies and gentlemen, big round of applause.
And in the moment I'm thinking about saying, if you guys know my podcast, you
know, the
Justin Lincoln Rosenthal vanity project, JRVP, junior vice president, you know,
the parents
I'm talking about, but I didn't say that.
I just said, give it up for Tom and Debbie Rosenthal.
And it was a confused clap.
It was like, I'm a lot of people being like, woo.
And I couldn't, they were up in the, in the mezzanine, I guess.
I didn't even see them, but they stood up and clapped.
They said people around them were like, oh my God, Tom and Debbie.
And then took them to dinner and had a blast.
And I told them, this is the funniest quote.
I said, listen guys, I don't meet anybody after shows, but I'm thrilled to take
you both to
dinner.
And your dad goes, yeah, right.
We'll listen to the podcast this week.
See how you really feel.
And I thought that was hilarious.
Your dad was super charming.
I basically talked to your mom most of the time.
We were sitting off like next to each other.
And then your dad talked to Kelly and Liz and was so, so charming, having a
great time.
The girls are laughing.
And my favorite quote of your dad's was he said, he's like, well, she's talking
about
her work because Liz went to college, went to art school in Boston.
So she got to go back and visit.
There was like a, a photo book auction where like alumni come back and you can
bid on books.
And she went and saw all her old professors and of all the people that Liz went
to school
with, she's like the only one still, who's still a photographer, who's still
like, this
is what she does.
So she's like conquering hero coming in.
Everybody wants to talk to her.
And found out one of the, an artist that I bought a photogr