Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Manatee Deez Nuts (Full Eps. 228)
Uploaded: 2023-12-20T17:25:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Manatee Deez Nuts (Full Eps. 228)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Manatee Deez Nuts (Full Eps. 228)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-20. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Manatee Deez Nuts (Full Eps. 228)

Oh, yeah.
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The Jessel, Nick, and Rosenthal Vanity Project, JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
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Last show of the year.
It's Christmastime in Burbank.
And all through the podcast studio, we got emails.
We got a hot manatee statue.
And we got our best of list from the entire year, all coming up in episode 228
of the Jessel, Nick, and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
They say it's your birthday.
It's my birthday, too, yeah.
You know what, Aaron?
I don't always give you a lot to do on the show.
You know, and I finally give you something you can sink your teeth into.
And I told you about it.
We rehearsed it twice, and then you did it.
And I feel like every time it got lower energy.
Like, were you embarrassed to be a part of the Beatles?
No.
No, of course not.
I thought he did a good job.
Nor the Jessel, Nick, and Rosenthal Vanity Project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
Hey, Aaron.
Wow, that's the first time I've ever done that.
Aaron.
That's power.
Aaron.
Yeah.
They say it's your birthday.
You're doing a different song.
You do it.
They say it's your birthday.
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na.
It's my birthday, too, now.
I don't know.
Yours is kind of off a little, too.
You do it to me now.
I haven't heard that song.
They say it's your birthday.
Da-na-na-na-na-na-na.
We'll let the listeners decide.
Maybe I'm thinking of a different song.
Maybe you and Aaron are right, and I'm wrong.
I don't know.
You need three points to make a straight line.
Right?
Yes.
It's a fact.
Thank you, Aaron.
All right.
Let's talk about the week.
This is the last episode of the year.
It's not your birthday yet, but it's coming.
It's coming.
It's coming.
This is Tuesday.
We're taping this.
Birthday's coming Friday.
I got to cut through the jungle that is Liz's birthday on Thursday to get to
mine.
It's double plans.
It's I got to think of a dinner reservation for her birthday, and then for my
birthday.
And guess who's paying for both dinners?
The big dog.
Wait.
So what's the difference, really?
None.
Do you talk about you at your birthday and her at her birthday?
Or is there any special?
Not really.
Any special?
It's more like my birthday is like less pressure of, and my gift fell through.
So like I had something going that I was excited to give her for like a both
birthday and Christmas.
And then it fell through like literally two days ago it fell through.
And I was like, okay, let's reset.
And now I've saved the day by just agreeing to take her shopping.
So we'll see.
It's that kind of romantic.
We're just, we're burned out.
We're both burned out from this whole long tour.
You would think like your first day off, you just sit and chill.
It's not like that.
I've been slowly getting it together where I've been in a horrible mood.
Part of it is being run down from the road.
Part of it is like these chiropractor things that I'm doing right now.
Like he'll release something and it like, it's fucking emotional.
Anyone who's been through a lot of chiropractor stuff, like there's some things
they do where
you're just like, why am I feeling like this?
I'm like, I'm cranky.
And so that's been tough.
Let me go through the week.
There was a lot that happened last week.
And I think that's part of why it's been extra run down.
But listen, every day I feel better.
I'm getting more sleep.
I'm excited for the next couple of weeks, even though the weather is garbage.
I thought I might get to sit by the pool.
I cannot.
What's the point of living in Los Angeles if I can't sunbathe in mid to late
December?
As I assumed I would be able to, not understanding how weather works.
Last week I taped the pilot for Comedy Central.
It was, it was great.
It was fun.
A lot of people were there.
And it was the kind of show where we've got like, we've got six comedians and
then I'm
the host.
And I was like, oh, I've got a lot to do.
Let me have things planned in the show.
But everyone, all six people were so funny and killed so hard that I was more
of a master
of ceremonies.
Just keeping the show moving.
Everyone else is like killing.
I just kind of got to be cool and keep the show moving along.
Everyone was very happy.
Everyone was very happy after the show.
I don't know what that means for the future of the show.
I know I've talked to the showrunner and listen, when I do this podcast, I go
home every week
and Liz is like, how was the podcast?
And I say, I don't know.
I truly don't know.
Like we're just in the moment.
We're just doing it.
It's fun.
But sometimes people are like, that was a great episode and that was a bad
episode.
And I could not tell you what was different.
It's just, that's how it is.
The show everyone seems psyched about.
The showrunner who's putting the edit together now is happy about it.
I don't know what that means for next year, but it was good.
So I was happy about that.
But again, it was, it was a lot.
And then I left the next morning to drive to San Diego.
And again, I'm not feeling good.
San Diego was one of those weekends and I had this in Denver.
It's not always, it doesn't always happen like that, but sometimes in multiple
shows.
The only time I felt good in San Diego was when I was on stage.
But when I was on stage, I felt so good that I was just so happy to be on stage.
Like the adrenaline knocked everything out of me that I wasn't feeling good
about.
And I just had three and a half great shows.
Late show Saturday, I snapped.
It's a, it's a, the show is great.
There's a couple of annoying people.
And I, again, if someone yells something out, I try to just brush past it.
I've got two New Year's resolutions for next year in terms of audience.
I will not tolerate going forward.
The inappropriate laugher.
I'll call them.
Where I'm telling a joke.
I'll be like, and you've probably heard these people at my shows before.
It's someone who's like a big fan.
They're usually fucked up.
And I'll be like, and this is not one of my jokes, but I'll be like, so my
cousin committed suicide last year.
And some of the audience go, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I hate that so much.
You are fucking up a joke.
Again, people around you will laugh that it happened.
And then you'll do it again.
I hate it so much that in 2024, that will not be tolerated.
That's a gots-to-go situation.
And, again, it usually happens later in the show.
What are you going to do about it?
I'm going to say knock that shit off right fucking now.
I hate it too much.
And if they do it again, they're gone.
I haven't had security kick out anyone this whole tour that I will relish it.
That's one thing I won't tolerate.
If you've got a problem with a joke you want to yell out, I had some of that in
Boston, we can talk.
We can fucking talk.
But if you do the stupid laugh too loud at the setup of a joke, you gots-to-go.
That's something I don't tolerate.
The next thing I'm not going to tolerate anymore, and this happened a few times
this year,
I don't think any JRVP listeners would do this.
I'm just putting it out there in the world.
If you see my show, you like my opener, you don't like my opener, that's fine.
I'm bringing the opener because I like the opener.
Not everyone has to dig it.
When I was an opener, I ate shit 95% of the time.
That's fine.
What you don't do is go on my Instagram that has photos of the night and talk
shit on the opener.
That's a gots-to-go situation.
That'll get you blocked.
Gots-to-go.
In 2024.
That'll get the comment deleted and you're blocked.
You don't have to like them, but don't go on my page where they're tagged and
talk shit.
Not cool.
You don't need to do that.
And again, I don't think any Jesselnick and Rosenthal vanity project.
JRVP.
Junior Vice President.
Listeners would ever do that.
You know, I'll give you an update too.
Remember when I talked about New York, Carnegie Hall, how I had a problem with
an employee?
Yes, I remember.
I believe the employee had the pictures taken down from the show.
They complained to Instagram.
I put in the caption that, except for one staff member I wanted to strangle
with my bare hands, everything was great.
They took it down and now my team is like fighting to try to get it back.
What do you mean took it down?
They said, I just see an alert, like, because you're inciting violence against
someone, we're taking it down.
I'm like, that's insane.
These pictures, they're great photos.
My family's in those photos.
Again, we can repost photos, but it's not the same.
That if that doesn't come back, good fucking luck ever getting me back to the
New York Comedy Festival.
I'll put that out there.
Again, it would be years from now when I would ever do it again, but I will
take that pettiness into 2027.
I will happily do that.
And again, maybe they come back.
I've said I'll edit the caption if that's what it takes.
But everyone, my team, I was like, I think the guy did it.
And he's like, I think that's what happened too.
Of course.
Wait, so you would take out the line that this guy.
Yeah.
And I didn't identify the person.
I can't believe they would be like, that's a figure of speech.
It's not an incitement to violence on Instagram.
My team's never had to deal with this before.
They're doing it now.
That angered me.
I hate this person.
And again, if he walked in here right now, I wouldn't know who he was.
But if I don't get the pictures back, I'm going to find out.
I'm going to ask my agent, remind me of that guy's name.
And I'm going to have it in the back of my head moving forward.
I don't know what that means, but I know that I will always hate you.
And I will be on a project and say, hey, have you ever heard of this person?
And if they're like, oh yeah, he's working here.
I'm like, not anymore.
He's not.
And like, oh, he lives down the street.
Not anymore.
He doesn't.
He's gots to go.
He's like that guy.
From Zany's.
What was the guy's name from last week in the Midwest that you still remember
his name?
Dave Stroop.
You don't go to Dave.
Dave Stroop.
Dave Stroop burned all the funny bones for me.
This guy could be the new Dave Stroop.
We'll see.
Anyway, San Diego, I was, again, at the end of every show.
So, last show, this guy's laugh, doing the inappropriate laugh.
I'm annoyed.
I'm pushing through.
And then I'm like, people always ask, what was my favorite joke?
You know, my favorite joke I've ever written.
And someone screams in the balcony, screams, shark party.
And I snap.
And again, snapping for me on stage is different.
I'm not yelling.
I just go, I go, you know what, guys?
This is my last show of the year.
And I can make it a short one.
And then, and then it was so hard not to laugh because, and again, that's
snapping for me
on stage is just to even like acknowledge that the crowd is bothering me.
And I say that and the crowd gets so quiet.
I felt like a teacher who had like yelled at students who was like, one kid's
playing too
hard.
And I yell at everyone that it was hard to get through the last 20 minutes of
my set without
laughing.
Because 