Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Carpenter Pants (Full Eps. 235)
Uploaded: 2024-02-21T17:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Carpenter Pants (Full Eps. 235)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Carpenter Pants (Full Eps. 235)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-21. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Carpenter Pants (Full Eps. 235)

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you know it's gonna be a big show when anthony's reading a pre-roll uh we're
making that bank we're talking about when your dad is your uncle our favorite
super bowl commercial
and aaron side job all coming up in episode 235 of the jeselnick and rosenthal
vanity project jrvp
junior vice president congratulations courtney and sean may your love last
forever or until i learn your last name
back in the new studio yeah episode two feeling it studio 2.0 you're further
away from me
i feel it feels like i can't tell the difference from this time and last time
is a new table aaron
nope same everything at my table is a little different i'm saying you know from
our old studio
we're further away that feels more natural actually it does we're not just like
smashed up against each
other it feels good it feels like we're like regis and kathy lee before i'm
reading we were almost
combative i'm kathy lee motherfucker okay regis is dead kathy lee is forever um
i like the studio
aaron i think you did a good job thank you appreciate it you know it's a little
weird you're
not here that you have to have a you know refrigerator right next to you at all
times that
i unplug creates oh you did unplug it okay thank you um you're don't drink that
milk aaron
well you're gonna unplug it for every podcast that could be a problem uh you
your opening statement
there i assume was from the wedding over the weekend we'll get to that part of
your speech
we'll get to that in a second i did not give a speech at the wedding i was not
allowed no no one
wanted me to occasionally someone would ask am i going to and they understood
that i was not
uh that uh again i want to do a game every every week when we come in here
where aaron tries to guess
how far away i parked
aaron how far away do you think i parked today i'm gonna say you are exactly
one block away
i'm 100 yards away okay i don't know if that's a it's a block it might be a
little more than a block
it's it's a big street we're on it's industrial not a lot of parking i found a
spot and i i don't mind
i'm not a diva i can walk a little bit it's raining out there and it wasn't
raining when i walked in here
but if it's raining when i walk out i'm gonna be mad the whole time walking to
my car and we'll talk
about it next week i did secure you guys two spots you did tell us there are
spots i got the text as
i was driving here i got here early like you're supposed to greg got here five
minutes early which
is ten minutes late i got here early too five minutes early that's ten minutes
late everyone knows that
uh but aaron was like oh i have spots for you it's a parallel parking job right
outside the front
doors it's not a parallel parking job yeah yeah it's not you got it you just
put i'm telling you uh
yeah i think you're thinking of a different spot than probably the ones then
you thought it was past
the doors anyways uh it was fine thank you aaron for the for the help and uh
yeah it was a little late
there's a lot of traffic today you know people in the rain going a little crazy
yeah uh before i get
into the wedding of it all in the pittsburgh of it all i'm a little thrown off
today i got home last
night from pittsburgh uh and i normally get home sundays so i'm used to getting
home on a sunday
having the like having my sunday and then monday is a little easier but today
jumped right into a
tuesday where i had a whole bunch of stuff i have a show tonight so this is
like i've been running all
day you have a show tonight i have a show tonight yeah i'm gonna do a spot just
i'm just don't go
and do a spot at the comedy store i uh i i didn't i had two weeks off and i did
like one spot last
week before i left town for pittsburgh i just didn't want to get rusty so i'm
just going like
not trying anything new just going up and doing 15. but uh pittsburgh trip was
great uh the wedding
was fun i got into pittsburgh my brother and i met in chicago and then flew
into pittsburgh and we got
in like right before uh we got in like thursday evening about six o'clock and
my parents had planned
a dinner at this restaurant nearby for everyone who was already in town you
know and this is like before
the wedding actually begins like just whoever's there and i my first thing i
did when i got home
was tell my entire family that i'm not going to dinner i just got i flew across
the country i had
to get up at 5 a.m la time to fly all the way across landed at like five got in
at six i was not
going to dinner my brother and i begged off our parents weren't happy they were
just like we just
saw you we're happy to see you and now you're just like no i'm not doing this
everything else was
great uh rehearsal dinner was really fun it was my mom's birthday we celebrated
and uh and then the
wedding was fantastic the wedding went off without a hitch uh really funny was
kind of like it was a
different experience because liz was not there with me like my brother's wife
was not there she's
heavily pregnant didn't make it and liz was uh taking taking care of some
family business so it's just
kind of me and my brother posted up in the corner uh talking with my uncles you
know it's like when you
get your whole family together you get like multiple generations two different
sides it's just like
people just like pulling you aside to talk on one person like you just walking
i'm just hearing
all the gossip of who hates who and i'm not really involved i like everybody uh
but i just get to hear
like oh i didn't realize if i like everybody do you keep in touch with them on
a regular basis
uh outside of i guess weddings no death no when i say like everybody i mean
like i enjoy talking to
people for a few minutes here and there you know but i i liked i just wanted to
make sure everyone
understood it was it was nice it was nice to catch up with my uncle tom i hadn't
seen him in a while
uh it was great to hang out with my brother uh but it was a it was a fun
wedding and the bride and
groom had a blast i didn't realize everyone listens to my podcast again my
family where i came back and i
see my sister and sean her now husband our podcast this is at the uh this is at
the rehearsal dinner
i'm like hey how's it going everything everything good and they're like oh
great yeah and the sean
goes uh yeah i just found out that uh 90 of the reason i'm marrying your sister
is because of you
and i and he smiles and i have no clue what he's talking about i'm just like
awkwardly standing
there like huh wait what you're doing what and then i walk away and i'm like to
my brother i'm
like what i don't get what just happened he goes you said that on your podcast
like days ago i don't
remember anything but they're all listening my mom's worst nightmare is that i
would like give up family
gossip on the podcast she was like don't talk about the wedding on the podcast
that i really considered
and i'm only saying this now because i didn't do it but i thought i would come
in and have me and you
record like a fake clip where i'm just spilling all the shit and then have my
sister send it to my
mom and be like can you believe what anthony said in the podcast and then watch
her fucking explode
but uh i'm not gonna do that to your mom i'm not gonna do it it was a fun
wedding it was a good
wedding it's a missed opportunity i mean there's only going to be so many more
weddings we're all
getting a little older um this was a chance there better really stick it to her
there better be
no more weddings there better be no more weddings or i'm not going this is my
last wedding i said
that many times i mean during the ceremony there is one jessel nick sibling i'm
sitting across from
unattached here that's always on the no more listen no no no absolutely not
like this was a great
wedding everyone had a blast it was great to get the families together but at
every step i was just i
looked at my brother and i was like you're so smart for just eloping you're so
smart for just like just
getting it done and uh and just showing up being like yeah i'm married now that's
the way to do it
don't make people buy flights don't make people get hotels for you to get
married you don't have to do
that go before a justice of the peace but i had like one of the most fun times
of my life was my wedding
night so i'm glad i did it yeah i don't care if everyone had to fly out to california
that's great
you're not gonna miss that money um the best part of the weekend by far was
sunday sunday the wedding's
over wedding saturday night we get out of there we get home and then my brother
and i go to the
jammer jagger jersey retirement game in pittsburgh ceremony starts at four our
brother and i get
there at three my brother got the tickets for us the great seats casamigos club
and the ceremony was
incredible so many players came back uh jagger looks great he's up there on
stage with his mom
and this gorgeous gorgeous girl who's so young that at first when i see her i
am confused she looks so
czech it's unbelievable she looks like a poster child for for the czech
republic and she's beautiful
but i'm like is that his daughter it could be his daughter like literally and
then during his speech
uh which is great he says uh i'd like to thank my girlfriend um she's too young
to remember when i
played for the penguins and the place goes crazy an entire arena just erupts
like they are so happy that
he said that she's like all smiles she's loving it and he's like but don't
worry i told her the stories
and it was it was awesome it was it was the the ceremony was so incredible that
it made it it made
it okay that the penguins lost two to one got to see a sydney score but i haven't
seen the penguins
win a game in like the last five trips i i've gone to see them i i'm a jinx
alive but i i love them
is that why you're wearing like greg rosenthal hat instead of like a penguins
hat just with a big g on
it if this hat is 60 percent above it it would be this is uh do you know what
this is georgetown nope
aaron do you know what my hat is is it uh it's not the yomiuri giants is it
nope this is the homestead
grays this was the uh pittsburgh's negro league team you're both racist tune
into the youtube to
see how racist greg and aaron are i said a japanese team at least to you you
listen to the audio to
hear aaron's refrigerator you look