Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cool Coup (Full Eps. 237)
Uploaded: 2024-03-06T17:00:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cool Coup (Full Eps. 237)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cool Coup (Full Eps. 237)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-06. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Cool Coup (Full Eps. 237)

rolling i want to take a second to talk about sex is that all right with you
anthony i want the oh
yeah fuck oh yeah two pre-rolls today i just want to talk about sex so much
gentlemen 15 minutes or
less is great when you're talking about pizza delivery but not when referring
to your performance
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know just two tasteful tasteful pre-rolls here getting the show started off
funky and fresh
before we talk about our time living in new york the willy wonka experience and
a ton of humpback
whale news in episode 237 of the jessel nick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp
junior vice president
you want it you want it you got it urge to collapse knelt and fought it
bringing in song lyrics for you today from who uh pale hound is a uh a new a
new group i've uh
i've gotten into uh pale hound i i have one of their songs on uh my mix oh
really which one and
now i forget which one who they are exactly is it did they have chosen to
deserve is that one of
their songs i don't know i just i was hearing this on a mix and i was like i
like it it's called you
want it you got it and uh i listened to the album on the way here it's it's
good but you want it you
got it is my is my jam i will i will find the song you know you you gotta you
gotta independence day
good good tune by pale hound just saying i may have heard it i mean it's on
heavy rotation okay on my
playlist uh what's happening pretty tired pretty tired i just got back from canada
i've got a week
off so i'm very excited and all the things i have to do this week i've had to
do kind of like today
uh the next couple days i've got a bunch of stuff going on that i can take the
weekend to relax
um but i'm very very tired coming back from toronto is a bitch man air canada
fucking sucks i love canada
air canada is garbage and canadians know this no one's gonna no one's gonna
email saying hey
lay off air canada it fucking sucks delayed two hours uh direct which was nice
i mean that can
happen with anything that's just i was i was very happy to get home and i'm
just i'm extremely one
of those like you ever get so tired that you go to bed early and you're just so
excited like oh my god
i'm gonna get 10 hours of sleep and then you wake up at five in the morning for
no fucking reason
you're just up you're like okay i guess all my plans are laid to waste that's
what i'm doing now
so why are your plans laid to waste you should be fresh my plan was to sleep
all day and i swear
i woke up at 5 a.m and i've been doing a thing too i asked liz i was like do
you do this where i'll wake
up and i'll wake up in a panic like i it's still dark and i'm like what time is
it did i sleep in
and i look at my phone and it'll say like 10 30 and i'm like holy shit 10 30
and i'll look at it again
and it's like 5 30 and i'm like wait why did i imagine it was way later than it
was and i'm just
awake and that's been happening to me the last last couple days so i think
eventually i will unwind
and get to enjoy this break but for now uh i'm pretty tightly wound and i'm
gonna say you come
off as all loosey-goosey uh and no you don't but uh yeah your sleep i think is
a sign of where the
real anthony is you're you're grinding your teeth you're waking up at odd hours
it's just like a lot
of stress aaron am i ever loosey-goosey no when i come in the studio do you
turn off the light above
the studio that says loosey-goosey yeah as requested it's in my rider and don't
watch the
youtube episode this week i'm ugly that's just how people think of anthony it's
just like oh yeah
oh anthony's gonna be on this show oh yeah anthony's doing this oh yeah he'll
just go with the flow he's
down with anything he's cool with whatever i'm ugly this week i my my my
haircut lady has been out of
town for like almost three months she comes back tomorrow i'm getting my
haircut i mean you could
get your haircut with someone else i've listened i've gotten a couple beard
trims but i need shin
i i need shin we need to where's she at i went by i was by her uh salon the
other day just randomly
no that where she is now i was like oh that's where it is yeah i just happen to
see it yeah i'm going
there tomorrow um gonna look at another house tomorrow but yeah do not watch
the youtube i'm ugly
if you're gonna put the youtube on put a picture a current picture of me up and
look at that
next week i'm gonna i'm gonna be beautiful i'm gonna be like a butterfly that's
come out of a cocoon
to expose itself to children that's me next week this week dogsville i'm
ashamed of myself i look like
someone who lives in a different part of the country next week la you look like
a normal you look like you
normally except with the hat on i always wear a hat on the podcast so what's
the difference i would not
wear a hat in the lisa was like why are you wearing a hat your hair looks good
the beard's
overgrown the hair looks good i said it's the headphones it's the headphones aaron
do i need the
headphones if you ever want to talk to me yeah okay so i don't need that i
could come in here
locks when it messes with your hair i mean mine looks fine now that my hair is
longer yeah i don't
like to i don't like to think about it um we'll see maybe i'll maybe i'll bring
it in here and let
everybody know here's what happened in canada this weekend uh i love performing
in canada i really do
enjoy it i do not like the customs process i do not like uh the immediate
taxation of all my money
but i do enjoy the people and i like going there went through this weekend did
one show in london
it was great i should have done two i don't know why we only had one show in london
two shows in
hamilton and then two shows in toronto uh toronto was amazing toronto i was in
this theater i'd never
been in before called massey hall that apparently is like a historic theater in
toronto and it was
incredible it felt kind of like uh it's like the carnegie hall of canada if you
will and i
fucking loved it it was like all the greatness of being in carnegie hall that i
really enjoyed
this past november without the pretentiousness of the staff and i'm not
knocking the staff of
carnegie hall you're supposed to be like that they they got a lot of rules they
stick to those
rules they're all hardcore there's not no fun to be had backstage at carnegie
hall massey hall
they're they don't they don't give a fuck lucy goosey light is on and there is
no off switch
we had a great time i had two shows incredible uh i loved i truly at the end of
the set i was like
guys i just did carnegie hall you know three or four months ago and i like this
place more and they
love that but i did uh two shows in hamilton friday night all right and hamilton's
like an hour
outside of toronto and then people like it's a little blue collar i'm like all
right i tell the opener
i'm like kelly you know the late show tonight might be a little rough you know
it's it's a late
show friday it's a big it's a big venue it's like 2500 seats and both shows are
pretty much sold out
but i'm like the late show might be a little rough and then the early show is
so incredible sometimes
you do a show on the road where you're like i'm on on stage and i feel like the
audience is helping
me ascend into heaven everything's firing on all cylinders they're loving it i'm
loving it i'm
sitting on stage telling jokes thinking like why did i not tape my special here
why did i not tape it
here and the and so i forget about me my warning about the late show saying the
late show's gonna
be rough and get my opener still like you think the late show's looking rough i'm
like no that early
show was so amazing there's no way in two and a half hours they all lost their
minds i walk out on
stage for the late show and before i can even say thank you very much keep it
going for my opening act
i've got eight people screaming at me and it's not just like hey like screaming
full sentences
and i'm like okay like i immediately remember and listen i'm professional i can
handle it it wasn't
that bad i said people after it's been like we were embarrassed by you know how
people act like
that night hamilton you're cool yeah maybe they shouldn't be selling tall boys
of bud light in the
lobby and letting people bring in multiple cans maybe that was an issue uh the
people of hamilton
you're great but i was getting heckled by so many people and they were all over
and i tried everything
i'm like i'm telling people to shut the fuck up i'm answering their heckle i'm
like oh yeah thanks
i like my boots too cool it doesn't matter it's still people coming and i'm
like eventually i get to
a point where i'm like getting into my set it takes five minutes to even tell
my first joke
and uh and i listen i'm am i frustrated sure but that is the gig ever and i'm
thinking about the
people there who were like i've been waiting my whole life to see anthony jeselnik
i want this
show to be great i'm thinking about them and then there's like one guy who
keeps everyone someone
would yell at and like would ruin a joke yelling out he's not waiting for a
pause he's just screaming
shit out randomly he's wasted and i'm yelling at him but no one can see him
security is like trying
to find out where he is they can't really tell and the third time he yells it's
like things have
finally come down i'm like getting through my set and it ruins an entire joke
like the whole punchline
just scream something over it in the dead silence to a punchline and i snap and
i'm like get the
fuck out screaming at this guy and then for like the last 10 minutes of my act
it's like 10 security
guards around a guy who refuses to leave first and i hear this from the crowd
who's emailing me like
sending me messages afterwards to tell me what had happened like i was behind
that guy it was
terrible security couldn't find him and then the guy just tried to look away
they're like you need
to leave sir and he just turns his head to be like i'm not and then you hear
them arguing and fighting
he's yelling racial shit at the security guards as they're pulling him out and
i'm just like trying
to get through my last bit damn on stage it was nuts and liz has pictures of
the guy and greg you're not
going to believe this he looks exactly how you would expect someone who got
kicked out of a show in
hamilton a late show in hamilton would look and i was like we're not putting
the photos out there
he i mean he he looked like a rough dude total not better looking than you
think not better looking
not bad looking but not good looking either but looked like he was born owning
a van
if that makes sense and that if the photos were out there he would like find a
way to be waiting for
me one day and i wasn't going to do that so that guy got kicked out uh the rest
of the show was was
good again some heckles some it was some frustrations it was one of the roughest
late shows of the tour
but it was not bad uh and the first show was so much fun that i uh i can't
really complain but a lot
of people were asking what happened to the late show what happened to late show
that was it
just when you're in a 2500 seat theater and someone heckles you you cannot find
them a comedy club it's like
yeah get the fuck out or let's go but in a theater there they're hidden and it
was uh it was a rough
rough late show yeah i was curious too i saw you you posted on instagram who
writes the instagram
captions i do you do i do for the or do you just approve them i put the photos
out there because
i'm like liz sends me the photos and then i post the photos but everything else
the 