Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Happy Birthday, Mr. President (Full Eps. 241)
Uploaded: 2024-04-03T17:23:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Happy Birthday, Mr. President (Full Eps. 241)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Happy Birthday, Mr. President (Full Eps. 241)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-03. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Happy Birthday, Mr. President (Full Eps. 241)

roll it oh yeah three pre-rolls today starting with tommy john elevate your
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betterhelp.com slash jrvp three pre-rolls for our triumphant return to the
studio
just a prelude to a heartwarming kink a misguided amputation and uh some human
skin book binding
all coming up in episode 241 of the jeselnick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp
junior vice president we clapping
i put the headphones on air and you won even though i can't hear myself it's a
little low today but
yeah you you said you weren't going to wear the headphones today because your
hair looks so good
you didn't want to mess with it my hair looks so good i wouldn't put a hat on
and i always wear a
hat when i have to wear headphones and i thought it was going to be a whole bit
for the episode that
i had to tell you what aaron was going to say as soon as the podcast started
and i didn't hear aaron
say go for it i was like fuck i'm not getting the full jrvp experience um by
not wearing the
headphones so i said fuck it let me throw him on over the hair um what i don't
know what's going on
today in the studio i don't know what this table's doing it's been there the
whole time i don't like
it i feel like there's a bunch of things like sticking out of it this is an
aggravated anthony
performance today from the minute you walked into the studio you know i want to
i do want to find
out what your quote is is that just a beyonce yeah it's beyonce yeah okay my
first ever uh beyonce
album that i listened to like front to back i've never done it before again i
didn't know many songs
i saw the concert her last concert was like that's amazing even though i didn't
it wasn't like the
music's amazing i was like she's amazing but this album i i uh i put on the
morning it came out i was
like i'll listen to this and uh some there's some bangers on there there's a
couple a couple lemonade
is a classic i'm kind of with you i'm i'm under uh versed in uh the beyonce
catalog but lemonade is
you know incredible i guess i never really like i never really uh listened to i
didn't care uh and
this one i don't i'm not sure how much i care but i like a few of the songs uh
one i there's one song
that i put on repeat um like which is like bucket which is like yes but that
song has been on repeat
so much that i know my spotify rap is going to be like you really like that
song anthony that's all
you listen to it's a little embarrassing but i'm into it uh so yeah we clapping
that's awesome at
at your age to finally not be racist you know i'd like to think of beyonce as
white
that's how i think about it do what you want but she's white to me um we had
last week off kind of
we had the mailbag so i wanted to recap uh last weekend shows i had last
weekend off the weekend
before i was in portland maine providence rhode island uh new york and newark
new jersey uh all the
shows were great it was fun i was in providence uh my friend kumail nagiani was
shooting a movie in
providence we get to come to the show and have dinner uh afterwards that was
nice but my favorite
was portland maine we're in this theater this giant old theater in portland maine
and it's where like
the people in portland maine have like their high school graduations in this
theater it's like it's
used for everything and half the staff is volunteer and i remember like i'm
doing the show and i would
just see these people and they all wear white shirts it's really old women
wearing white shirts
standing in the aisles looking fucking horrified at what i'm doing they had no
idea they were there
for a comedy show and were so like just like stunned by what i was doing a tour
group was it a tour group
why are they in white shirts there were volunteers who worked at the theater
okay okay i know i'm i'm in
in a bad mood when that made me angry that made me so mad i had to take a beat
i forgive you for not
paying attention to the beginning of the story you shouldn't some people in
theaters are they're
paid to be there and they're professionals when they're volunteers they can be
a little stunned by
the material i regret bringing up the whole fucking weekend now i'm so mad i
got the la show at the
wiltern on uh friday we want to hear more about this what happened that was it
the whole fucking
point of the story was that it was funny to see these old people really freaked
out by me
and i could see them all because they were wearing white shirts in the audience
and then you got in
the way of the story aaron were you paying attention uh yeah yeah yeah you
followed it front to back
yeah people in white distracted i was i was distracted by a some sort of sound
issue that
was going on i was trying trying to fix but this is what happened show at the
wiltern this friday
you probably can't get tickets anymore because everyone's hitting me up for
them including greg and
aaron but it's going to be a fun show i'm going to get some sleep between now
and then and it's going
to be good went to the dodgers home opener aaron have you seen a dodgers game
yet only on television
only on tv yeah you were going to go what sunday and then saturday yeah saturday
i thought
would rain out i went thursday home opener was very excited had great seats and
then it felt like
someone had a magnifying glass reflecting the sun on the back of my neck for
three hours it was brutal
these seats one p.m game it was very hot and then i loved the game it was
amazing
got to see shohei knock his uh knock a double his first at bat and then get uh
get uh out on his way
which was fine still happy to see him and then lost my goddamn mind trying to
leave the parking lot
took me two and a half hours holy to get out of there the game lasted uh two
hours and 20 minutes
wow i was pissed that's crazy pissed almost as mad as i am right now
i'll talk about something i like david tell's new special i assume you haven't
seen it greg no
you're just trying to get through this at this point that's fine uh david tell's
new special is
amazing i talked about roy scovel special being amazing a couple weeks ago it
is special of the
year is david tell i think at the end of the year it'll be me and then david
tell i watched it twice
i mean rory got such a big pop from you last week and now he's just been passed
rory this is like the best roy's ever done his special i was like it's great to
see my friend
getting better and better david tell's been a legend for 30 years and this
special is incredible
it's him doing real material not like he did bumping mics he did a special on
comedy central a few years
ago there was more like in every uh you come back from the commercial break and
it was just him like
in a new club making fun of the club great but this is like david tell jokes it's
it's amazing check that
out on netflix i saw three body problem i wanted to see three body problems so
bad i was i heard the
hype aaron did you see any of it what what is that it's the new no one knows
what this is i only i got
hit by the hype train it's the new show from the guys who did game of thrones
david benioff and
whoever the fuck and it's like a three novel series like a science fiction
series about an alien invasion
and i heard it's amazing so i read the first two books and then watched the
series books are good
didn't love how the second one ended not sure i'm gonna read the third didn't
love the three body
problems series it's like in the books it's kind of like there's people all
over the world and
throughout time that they're getting to kind of fight this invasion in the
series they make them
all friends every character is like they all went to oxford together and i'm
like this is lame
yeah it's less realistic read the books all the only other thing i'm going to
say i'm going to let
greg talk for the rest of the episode while i like calm down is towards milwaukee
i am a week and a half
away from shooting the special i'm excited i'm wearing my milwaukee brewer
starter jacket
which i pulled the tag off on my way in to the studio today that's how that's
how seriously i'm
taking this meanwhile greg can't even be bothered to pay attention to the
beginning of a story i'm telling
right up top i mean we've all had hard weeks i just got back from vacation like
late last night and
taped a couple other shows early today and so it's just been like you know a
lot kind of tired
coming back from why it was hard well i'm just saying yeah i got back late and
then a couple shows
at the nfl today it's like a little whiplash there's a lot of traffic when you
go to sleep at night
what time do you go to bed last night whenever like what's your usual bedtime
like 11 probably what
time do you wake up 6 30 seven and a half hours of sleep i would give anything
i would give anything
well i'm a little worried i'm going on friday which apparently you know you're
you're getting
besieged by requests it's annoying you you said you had three on the way in
here alone so i don't know
what it is but you seem i don't know if it's because the special soon because
the la show is this week
or it's just this week you seem on edge i am on edge the special puts me on
edge uh it's been it's
been a day it's been a day what's the rest of the day just waking up super
early getting up at seven i
probably got four hours of sleep last night and then just had a bunch of things
to do and i didn't i had
to come straight into the podcast i've had very little to eat i'm tired listen
i'm not in a bad mood
i'm happy i'm happy my friends are reaching out to see come see the show it's
gonna be fun um but
like would i kill someone right now if i could get away with it yes i would you
are in a soundproof
room yeah but like if i killed greg someone would find out like i i could make
it through friday
yeah i don't think i can make it to the special tape no not i think i'd
probably they'd probably get
me at the airport right fly towards milwaukee but like and who else would
whisper
uh after we say the jesson lincoln rosenthal vanity project jrvp junior vice
president i could
get fucking anyone to do that no it's pretty tough especially if you had me for
the first half of the
show and then the second half of the show my body is just uh laying there dead
people would figure it
out on youtube you know what i think about a lot now you know i've been
thinking about lately not doing
this podcast anymore what if i just didn't have to do it would i be happier
maybe we got to think we got
to think about it am i run down uh yes i am should i make should i wait to make
decisions until the tour
is over in the fall yes i should but i'm just telling you i'm not warning you i'm
not threatening
anybody but i'm thinking about it a lot how was the vacation it was great i
mean long time listers well
this is just playing the hits every every once in a while this is you know a
big tension of the show
is anthony going to be so annoyed by having to do it that it stops happening it's
really the creative tension
that the whole show is about i believe i mean i used to be about you getting me
trying to get me
fired at the nfl and now it's this the old one was like will greg lose his job
because of this podcast
and now it's like when will anthony stop it's not a question of if it's when it's
will he even give
us a heads up i like all things comedy i don't want to screw them over i gotta