Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Do Not Suscitate (Full Eps.244)
Uploaded: 2024-04-24T18:21:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Do Not Suscitate (Full Eps.244)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Do Not Suscitate (Full Eps.244)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-24. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Do Not Suscitate (Full Eps.244)

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jrvp to pre-rolls
that's really not enough to satisfy my uh insatiable thirst for pre-rolls but
we'll try to make it up
to you by talking about how best to quit your job uh anthony's trip around the
country and uh the grossest
trend in cocktails possible coming up in episode 244 of the jeselnick and rosenthal
vanity project
jrvp junior vice president i've never cared less about an episode of this
podcast
in the entire run i'm only here because i love the sponsors
never cared less you mean you you don't have a computer here today didn't bring
my
laptop in usually you know we we set up you know we actually take this more
seriously than people
realize anthony usually wants to go over a rundown he's the boss he's the man
he's like aaron you
ready we're gonna go through what we're doing today didn't do that for the
first time he's just like
whatever well didn't bring in anything i was like try to remind me about these
announcements
otherwise i am at the end of my rope it's the it's the very tail end of the
like concentrated american tour and
i'm doing makeup dates so i i got back yesterday i got back last night and last
weekend was great
uh gary indiana shockingly fun show uh that brand new casino hard rock it was a
fun venue i had a great
time got to see my sister and lee and all their neighbors all of them a little
condescending to say
shockingly fun i saw you put that on instagram people kept saying it's like we
we thought gary that you
were gonna you were gonna stink but you were great everyone's saying why are
you going to gary and i
kept telling them the money it's a casino it's all that money and but the show
was really fun too
mandy indiana underrated uh band make some crazy crazy songs out there i went
to green bay
and uh green bay was a blast uh really fun show beautiful theater had a great
time in green bay
and then went to minneapolis and that was amazing both shows were really fun
second show was drunk as
fuck but they were really fun they were they all got out of the uh timberwolves
game uh game one victory and
then came over to laugh at my bullshit but that was a really fun weekend but
then i get home and i'm like
okay i got a couple days off no you don't you have uh you got to leave tuesday
tuesday morning for boston
to make up all the covet shows so i've got uh i've got a lot of well and in
between you gotta
drive on over to the atc studios wait for uh old billy shatner to finish up his
podcast and then
hang out with your buddy i was not i was not here when uh when billy shatner
was here yeah me but uh
you didn't see him get like wheeled out i did not aaron worked with him
directly aaron it was there uh
was it fun to work with your hero i'm not a star trek guy
aaron's late on the drop he's eating back there we can't even see him aaron is
that a peanut butter
sandwich no it's a china chip cookie very soft okay i see uh hey sometimes and
no one wants to see
this but sometimes it's it's obvious when i gotta carry a show listen i just i
just do not care about
i had a meeting with a publicist at my publicist i've had forever uh and i
think i came in a little
hot in the meeting i think i was unpleasant even though i had nothing i wasn't
complaining i was just
i'm i'm i'm at the very end of a long tour yes yes a phone meeting i've just
been annoyed i had a show
tonight i canceled the show i was like i can't do a show after uh after this so
i i listen i want i
want the people who listen to this to be entertained sometimes when i'm in a
bad mood or when i'm just
over fucking shit and i'm unprepared people like it more let's see if this is
one of those maybe this
is the one where they realize like hey he's mailing it in no you're not i mean
you came in you seemed
very chill actually or just tired but uh you you weren't like aggravated you're
wearing your
your sunglasses indoors i'm chill i took it out on my publicist today uh i got
it all out of my system
doing what is what is it that you're telling i'm not i have to publish it your
publicist if you don't mind
publicizing that like what could you be complaining about them too i wasn't
complaining i was just like
here's what i want to do this time i don't want to do this i don't want to do
that that's a
fucking waste of time and they were like okay okay like why are you loud uh and
then i mean listen
he's my publicist he's always been my publicist he's gonna be my publicist in
the future but i was
like i don't want to do this this and this let's do quality over quantity right
all the different
podcasts and whatnot because when you got a podcast like this the reach is
unbelievable
aaron we go around the world correct oh yeah you can listen to this wherever
aaron if you were an astronaut and you were in the space station isis could you
listen to the podcast
from there you could yeah absolutely got it down so why do i have to do any
press well you said you
you wanted to do crowder's pod right yeah you know i i decided we're gonna lay
off we're gonna laugh
crowder from now and he called me he called me over the weekend and he said uh
you know political
entertainer the political entertainer would you lay off me and the divorce you
know he's like you
want to make fun of my comedy or what i look like or the kind of people that i
surround myself with
and the cast and crew of my show um and what my fans look like and smell like
if you want to make
fun of that he said that's fair game but not the divorce okay and i was like
you know to be honest
i think i i thought divorce was fair game it's in the news and he was like hey
man if you knew what i was
going through right now and i was like what do you mean stephen and he goes
dude if this goes
through the way she wants to do she's gonna get half my car
and i was like you know what we'll lay off so it's good all of branch to the
fans all of
branch to stephen i'm sorry i hope i hope the car you had was a big car
then you can afford to give up half and yeah i'm echoing that i'm glad to be
part of
this meeting of the minds this is like that day they write about when big and tupac
just kind
of drove around la smoking weed and having fun it's a lot like that i uh i want
to hear
more about your weekend just i want you to have to talk this whole whole time
why are you wearing
a jackie robinson uh red sox hat this is my only red sox hat i had i wanted to
get one uh for the boston
tour of the boston portion of the tour this is part two of the covet makeup but
i thought uh the the
best boston hat would be the jackie robinson commemorative boston hat uh that i
just think
it's like it's almost comes off as sarcastic on and my size was it was unavailable
all last year
uh they finally got new ones in this year that i thought people must be buying
this uh ironically and
uh and you know listen i love jackie robinson he's my favorite but i think this
is uh for the for the
last team in the league to integrate uh to have their jackie robinson patches
is funny to me i mean they
did yeah they did uh get rid of yaki way which was the name of their formerly
racist uh owner was the
name of the street they were on and no longer called yaki way and you want to
know why solved everything
right solved a lot of problems do you know what the number one way to prove uh
you're no longer racist
by jackie robinson hats they've done that it's been sold out listen for years
we won't woke crowder one
this this episode it reminds me i told you about three things three cities i
went to yeah how fun all the
shows were yeah it was great no this episode reminds me of like late in the nba
regular season they'll
just start resting the stars it's like oh you paid your your good money to come
see jason tatum and
jalen brown how about let's let peyton pritchard uh score 30 points and i am peyton
pritchard in that
scenario aaron is luke cornett and you know what the backups are gonna roll a
lot of peas flying around
the room a lot of peas a lot of consonants i'm on my toes i didn't i mean i
wish i had my laptop to
lean on today i've got to just look greg right in the eyes and just roll with
it well i can't even
see your eyes because you got the sunglasses you i like the i like the
sunglasses you're gonna be
seeing a lot more sunglasses anthony on the pod moving forward you had to
cancel your your stockton
show which is the same the home of um pavement the great american rock band
really yeah oh yeah the
the people of stockton have spoken and they were like we don't want to see you
uh thank you to like
the hundreds of people who bought tickets uh it wasn't enough uh listen i don't
like to cancel shows
i always hate to do it and i rarely do it um but if my people who i pay 10 to
to do these things if
they ever say hey do you want to cancel this show i say yes immediately because
i trust them and it's
always a good idea when they say it and they rarely say it but uh i think it
was just a big venue i don't
know if i've ever played stockton before it's nothing against the people of
stockton it was simple economics
maybe i don't know i don't follow local politics maybe you recalled your da
recently and that's the reason but whatever reason i got to cancel stockton
i hope you guys get to see a show at some point i do too i uh i went to a dodgers
game this week
we've become dodgers fans literally samika's like a big shohei fan so we're
jumping on board we're getting
back into baseball that was fun um i can't really tell i feel like the thing
that's most on my mind
right now is you know some uncertainty i would say with the future of my
employment and whatnot um
at my other place but i don't know on this show and elsewhere but i don't want
to talk about that
really you brought it up out of yeah but i'm just saying well it's fine to have
low level uh free
floating anxiety i think it's obvious uh there's been there's been a lot of
changes at where i work
and so we're figuring that out and so that's that's dominating things right now
but i figured out
how to get around spectrum by the way remember i was complaining about how you
can't watch the dodgers
before you get into before you get into this spectrum thing i just want to say
like to
if anyone's trying to help out greg uh with his current uh employment situation
with the nfl pray for him uh you know what i'm gonna say what what that i that
we had to figure
out a way the only way we could watch the dodgers game um was to sign up for
like a vpn and watch it
on japanese tv so we got around you spectrum i feel like you're open this is
like this sounds like a
crime i i don't understand why vpn is not illegal but it's not i just like that's
some weird i think
spectrum wins in the end it's some weird uh you know hole in the system uh we
were down in k-town
last night i just feel like people that live in la that don't eat in k-town on
the regular are missing
out on maybe like the finest culinary experience on the west coast we just we
hit a different place
almost every week and it's always amazing sunday night we went to hangari kagutsu
i think and the
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