Name: The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Clenched Fist (Full Eps.245)
Uploaded: 2024-05-01T16:00:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Clenched Fist (Full Eps.245)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Clenched Fist (Full Eps.245)' from Anthony Jeselnik on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-01. Transcript available.

The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project / Clenched Fist (Full Eps.245)

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teacher appreciation
week the girth master and the latest edition of everyone's favorite game show
how cranky is anthony
coming up in episode 245 of the jeselnick and rosenthal vanity project jrvp
junior vice president
i want to quit the fucking business
slightly concerning start to the show there you would have thought that i would
be like last week was
the worst you'd be thinking oh anthony was such a bad mood last week that he
must be in a better
mood this week i think i'm in a worse mood now than i was last week i don't
even remember what
happened last week that i was so mad about i think you're just tired i'm tired
and cranky i'm tired
it was on monday so it was a short turnaround but you just had more shows we
both parked at the same
time we got out of our cars and i just asked you how's it going and you
actually didn't answer me
you just like had a sigh and continued to walk and that's why uh i feel
encouraged that at least when
when i made that little joke um about how cranky is anthony you gave me like a
polite
half smile so you sort of laughed we are very lucky that people seem to like it
when i am like this i don't know why people seem to really enjoy it but they
love it in a way that if
i didn't get like this i don't think we'd still have a podcast last week yeah i
was pissed because
i came from a short week had to leave tuesday morning for boston and now i'm
pissed because i left
tuesday morning for boston went and did all those remake shows makeup shows philadelphia
show was great
boston was fantastic love the wilbur theater i did the new one the other
theater they own it's a little
bigger didn't like it as much still still a cool place still like boston i
forget what the fucking
place was called but it wasn't the wilbur two shows at the wilbur on wednesday
those were great
medford is that a place near boston city yeah it was in medford friday yeah medford
thursday that was
cool did that fucking casino foxwoods which i always enjoy foxwoods casino get
your shit together
biggest casino in north america i think might be the thing your rooms fucking
suck
maybe the casino is nice i don't know the stage is cool the venue where they
have shows that's great
your rooms they fucking suck if you're a casino you're not allowed to have room
service that ends
at 10 o'clock you hear me it's got to go 24 7 you're a casino so i'm glad that's
over philadelphia last
show amazing waking up early flying back look i'm in first class direct flight
american philadelphia to lax
all i want is for the seat to recline enough so my back doesn't hurt in first
class that should be
automatic it should be like 24-hour room service at a casino a given and it was
not so i came in hot
sunday afternoon i've remained hot for days i cannot calm down i've done things
to work on this
and i think the probably best course is everyone give me a wide berth stay away
from me everyone who
thinks oh the tour is over now anthony must be relieved i'm not relieved yet i
need some time
everyone take three steps back and then cover your eyes because i don't want
you to look at me
is it cool if i bring the kids over to the pool maybe i maybe that would relax
me i can i'm good
around my dog and i believe your children would also not make me mad because i
see them as innocents
and i won't go too crazy okay i tried to buy a house
did not get the house oh dang i got outbid which i was told was going to happen
and that would drive me
crazy i was told this yeah they're gonna say you're gonna you're gonna find a
house
you're gonna look for a while you're gonna find something you'll be excited and
you'll lose to an
all-cash offer that you cannot compete with no matter what an all-cash offer is
your kryptonite
and i got all cash offered immediately i'm in second place right now whatever
that means if the cash
offer is like oh we don't really want it we'd rather use our cash for something
else then i get it but
i'll tell you this i'm done with the fucking process i'm gonna learn to love my
condo and never look at
another house again because i don't enjoy the process i gotta fucking do a
dance it's not enough
i'm willing to pay the money that you're asking for the house i gotta come up
with all cash
eat shit i don't like this city that much i'll go live with greg in greg's
place
you can't sleep on the couch in the garage i'll sleep on the fucking floor in
the garage
cool at night as long as as long as no one wakes me up in the middle of the
night because i don't
have enough cash you could you could probably get that cash after this tour
maybe because i gotta
get a bank involved are you fucking kidding me it sucks and now i'm like okay
maybe i'll do some sets
this week stay fresh before my uh show at the ace hotel for the netflix
festival now the netflix
festival starts i think tomorrow night and all the clubs are gonna fucking suck
hey do you want to do a drop in on so-and-so's fucking show no i do not netflix
festival
what why is it worse this week because of the festival every every show was
some
fucking thing they've put together it's not just random you know i can't just
go do a set it's
got to be part of this fucking festival and so i'm i know i've got a show i got
a set tomorrow
i don't know i am i am in i'm in a bad mood why like why am i doing the podcast
again i know
we talk about this every week but like why so i can get the money to do the
clips
so i can do the clips so i can do stand up so i can do a special so i can get
the special to make
more clips i feel like i'm a clip salesman and this podcast is part of it and
like our podcast you know
who listens to this podcast nobody that's not true unless unless i talk wild
shit unless i go off the
reservation and shit on some fucking icon of comedy who oh jerry seinfeld says
it says pc cultures ruined
the sitcom and that's why you can't have comedy anymore oh maybe you're 70
fucking years old
and that's what the issue is then then that clip will get out there and we'll
get some
fucking we'll get some some numbers on the clip that will probably hurt my
career
that's what i'm doing here that's why i roll in every week and again i don't
know why i feel like
i need to do it but we've had a dedicated audience to be fair since the
beginning since first of all the
rosenthal and jeselnick vanity project rjvp but especially with the jeselnick
and rosenthal vanity
project jrvp junior vice president we've had our our audience it you know there
are bigger podcasts
but i look at the numbers for instance at the nfl compare us to other podcasts
for instance that that
they make other sports podcasts out there and we have a we have you know a
bigger audience than that
like we have our consistent people we have our tens and tens and tens of
thousands and more
and they're coming back every week so don't insult those people who have stuck
with us
um but you're right the social clips only take off when you like bang on some
all right guy or some
comedian it doesn't fucking matter this podcast does not matter unless we start
bringing in joey
coco diaz every week then i don't know what the fuck i don't know why i'm even
involved in this
world anymore you'll you'd feel different or you might feel different just when
this all takes a
back seat now this touring is maybe the most intense touring you've ever done
in your life and seeing you
now and the the heightened um annoyance and you're just burnt out i from my
vantage point um do you
identify more with celebrities who eventually just become monsters you know
what i mean like you've
reached the point now where whatever is going on and you're touring or maybe
rock stars would be a
better uh comparison because they're traveling all the all the time uh like you've
reached the point
now where even the people that you love that are around you that you live with
you know you're
telling them to give you a wide berth uh now you can maybe understand why why
so many uh people talk
about these celebrities behind their back i think that the celebrities are
smarter than i am i think that
i am i i treat my co-workers as well as i possibly can and so i take it i take
the hit whereas if i just
lashed out at everyone all the time i feel like i would be happier because i
keep it inside and i'm
polite all the time i'm pissed i think i think it's to my detriment i'm too
nice well i think you just
stumbled upon why you're doing this then this is your way to get it out i'm
this is your vent session
this is your therapy really so why like again why do i do it yes that is what i'm
doing but like why does
this is help me as a comedian to come on here and spew and that's what i have
to do on this podcast
it's the only way i know how to podcast what is my benefit and i guess
creatively i'm in between
it's like i can't let go of the old hour yet even though it's filmed i've got
europe coming i got more
dates coming in months in forever because i moved the dates for the comedy
central tv show
any comedy central updates how about they fired the president of paramount so
they can go through
with a merger you're never seeing my tv show i moved tour dates for no reason
none the only good news is i
don't have to do that show anymore and if listen if they come back for sure i
know but it's blitz not
looking good considering that the entire reason for the show's existence was
not to get sued by
shareholders for rerunning ridiculousness too much
i'd love to i'd love to start working on the new hour i'd love to start working
on something else
but i can't yet i need to just fucking unclench and again i should just stop
showing up to do this
no one would be mad we could absolutely work you know off weeks into the
schedule we've weirdly
been on a stretch of you know week after week i mean we could do this a little
little planning
maybe take a vacation go to foxwoods but like not have to not have to perform
we could do this once a
month and i could start zooming in again from my home and let aaron figure that
out why am i here
i have our numbers gone up since we came into the studio aaron can't say i have
no idea i do track
these things you know we've been very consistent you know throughout throughout
our time that doesn't
even look like shohei if you're watching on youtube if you're part of the
patreon you can
see anthony's shohei shirt both anthony and his godson walker are wearing a shohei
shirt today so you
guys are synced up like that different shirts i got my shohei t-shirt i've got
a shohei jersey that
finally came i'm going to a game in a couple weeks we'll see if anyone would be
willing to go with me
because that's what i'm like right now i remember when they were making foxwood
they built foxwoods
and it's very it's near where i grew up i'm a clenched fist and if you grabbed
my fingers and
pried them apart and did the work to unclench my fist in my palm is just a
piece of shit
you were better off leaving the fist closed someone go give me a house
so that that's a big factor another factor could be you get this chiropractor
uh 