music music music music music music music music music This life is very, very funny to me now. It's the only way I can look at it, because if I become deadly serious about it, I would have to reconstruct myself. I'm 49 years old. It's a reality. 49, I'm jogging, jogging, out on the street, running, and a little pain went into the knee, and a little felt like a knife, you know, and I said, whoa, what is that? You know, and when I was younger, you know, something like that happened. I just say, whap, you know. You can't do that at 49. Your leg, you do like that, and they say, what's the matter with you? Didn't you hear us when we first spoke to you? Make it deeper. And I'm angry. I'm angry with it now, because this is the body, and I was an athlete, and I know if something like that hurts, you just kick it out even harder. Yeah, whap, and then it went down here. It went down to the ankle, and the ankle turned over, and then it came up to the hip, and I had it in the hip, and then the knee, and then the ankle, and the whole leg was like this. And all of a sudden, I came to my senses, and I said, stop. And I walked, and it didn't hurt when I walked. I said, well, it must be all right. So I started to run again, and everything came right back. Got to re-behave. Get a little twitch in the shoulder. When I was in my 20s, boom, gone, because it wasn't set right, you know. And it went down to my hand, and I tried to shake that out, and it went around to the back, and my leg went out again. And my body said, I'm not fooling. And I said, yes, sir. Get a little thing underneath here when I'm running. Stop. Yes, sir. What do you want to do? Sit down. Where? Right here. That's fine. Can't do that. You've got to re-behave. Making noises now. Noises. My father used to make. My father had a body like this one when I first noticed it. He had a gut, and he had things on the side. And when he took his shirt off, he had slices all up here. And he put on a shirt, and the shirt went all the way down, and covered up his belt. And he'd sit in a position like this, and he'd sit in a position like this, and it would come down, and all of it was smooth. The whole shirt smoothed out, all. And I could hear him. And I could hear him sit down. And he'd sit down. And he'd sit down. And he'd sit down. And he'd get up and mate even more. And I'd sit down. And he'd sit down. And he'd sit down. And I was in my teens, and I'd look at him, and I'd say, God, man, I don't know about it. I never thought that at one time when my father was 17, he had a great body. And I never thought that I would inherit that body. But it's here now. That 49 body. Lost my pecs. Don't have any pecs. Used to have great pecs. Only thing left now, I got two dark darts. But certainly not anything there that'll help to lift. When I was young, I ate two steaks. Football. Training table. Two steaks. Didn't chew them. Just ate them. Give me a wild heart. And people say, whoa, look at that boy. And then the heart, heart. Potatoes. Never tasted a thing. Took two quarts of milk. How about a half? How about a half? How about a half? Drank it so fast, I got a headache across and closed this eye. Dessert, go up to the thing. I'd like three slices of cake. Whoa, look at that boy. In one small burp. That's all. Worked. And that was it. And never, never. Everything was flat. Never showed a hump or anything. Now, 49, have a roll. Things starts to grow. Gas starts to come up. Raise my right arm to get rid of it. Oh. Get a group of 49, 50-year-old people sitting there talking and all of them going. So I. Get whiplash, so I. Yes, we'll try. Now, I think there's a period, this period of 49 on to whatever, and then it goes away. It goes away. Because my father's in his 70s now, and he doesn't have any of that. He just, he comes in. As a matter of fact, he doesn't have a gut anymore. His body's just slim. And he isn't on a diet. It's just a natural thing. It's just a natural thing. He eats less. He eats like a bird. He doesn't eat the, I remember my father being very proud of himself. He says, you know, I've never been full. I'm full. Now, just a little bit of this and a little pinch of that and something. And he gets up and he goes, no, I'm full. Dad, don't you want some pie? No, no, no pie. Thank you. Because his doctor said, he just doesn't have that appetite. But now, I want to eat. I love to eat. I mean, it's just the moment, man. Come on, dear. Let's go out to a restaurant. Sit there and look at that menu. And you would say, well, I will have this. So for them, they put on pofty pif. Please. How do you do that? Well, we put it in the little sauce of the salty pif. And you pull it small. Yeah. That's what I hope to close. Enough said here. That's all I do. I would just want to see it. And it comes sizzling in the sauce and things. Just eating. Oh, my goodness. Great. Look around. Take the bread. Take that bread. This is good bread. That bread. Tear that bread. Pull it. And it says, sop around the plate. It says, so I don't look too bad. Leave the little finger up. You know what I'm saying? It's just for the future. You try to look nice about the whole thing. Now it's sitting there. Me. Go to the Italian restaurants. The Italian restaurants, they don't do, they're never finished with what you're eating. They bring it to you. Sorry, there you have the pasta thing, everything. And you go, right. You know, and you start to dig in. They say, would you like a little? No, no, thank you. And then you start and you say, would you like a little? They're always putting something on it. As you're eating, you're a little. No, let me eat, man. Seven bowls of pasta just sitting right there. This is a picture of a man with great guilt. Because I've just killed myself. Hope it doesn't go to my heart right away. Finish dinner, perhaps walk home. If the restaurant is close enough, walk home, back to the house, take off the clothes. That's the difficult part. Clothes. Oh yes. I have a 38 inch waist. Not bad. When I look at myself, I suck in, so it isn't that bad. I've learned to look at myself and say, not bad. Not bad. Suck in, turn sideways, not bad. Not really bad. 38 inch waist. Go to get underpants, wear jockey shorts. I buy 34. 34, because they will stretch out to about 50. Like a pair of jockey shorts? What size, sir? 34. Oh, so would you like them gift wrapped? Put the jockey shorts on, and around this part, very, very tight. Cutting the blood off. Leg getting numb. Take a pair of scissors. Cut them. Up the side. Let the leg breathe. Didn't know that fat collected here. I wish there was a way to sit on the toilet with clothes on. Because when you're naked, you see it all. And especially in this position. And you look down, and you see this fat, this fat. And you look up, you say, I don't believe that. It's right there. All of us sitting right there. And I know it's fat because I've pinched it. And it doesn't hurt. The fat has no nerve in it. I just pinch it. Get out of here. And I get up, put those underpants on, and the elastic, which is about an inch wide, an inch and a half, goes all the way around. And that presses. So underneath that, the fat. The fat pokes out. And above it is the pushing up of the fat. So I get my trousers, which are 36. Putting a lot of pressure on the button. Suck in. Fats in it. Fats in it. And you can feel the pants going. And then the little metal thing, the little metal thing, it's going, it's an opening up on you. It's starting to open up. You say, "Hold on, boys. I'm going to dinner." Going to dinner. Going to dinner. Thank goodness the stomach's way up here. It'll take a while before it comes down here. But all I'm doing is, when I eat, I fill this out so that this is all smooth and round. Get up and finish the dinner. Sound like my father. And now I come home. Get undressed. Food is here. And the fat is here. Bend over. Over. And my stomach is mashing. Against my thigh. And I can get this hand down. Or do myself. Maybe if I just do it with one hand. Can't do it. Got to do it with two. Magic. Magic. Eyes feel like they're going to pop out. Sit back and rest. Whoo. Want to talk to God. If you don't mind God. Whoo. Could you just make, either give me longer arms. Or put the feet up here. That way I can take my shoes off and not press on anything. Climb into the bed. Like this. And see this thing. I've got to lose weight. Start to turn. And this. Starts to go before me. I looked in the mirror. I looked in the mirror. When I was 217. And my navel. Was all the way in the back. I could put my finger this far. Into my navel. My navel does not want to see light anymore. And the most embarrassing thing. And more than triglycerides or cholesterol. The thing that started me on a diet. Was the day I came out of the shower. Most. Most. Embarrassing time of my life. I got out of the shower. Grabbed the towel. Dried myself off. That's fine. Pick up the toothbrush. Knocked it on the floor. Bent over. To pick it up. And water. About a half a cup of water. Came out of my navel. And it was loud when it hit the floor too. And I said no, no, no. This is it. This is it. I got to get in shape. Go on a diet. Forty-nine. Hair lines receding. Not growing hair up here anymore. Yet. I'm still growing hair. Don't understand that. Why is it that I can't grow hair up here? I'm growing hair up here. About a quarter of an inch up here. About a quarter of an inch up here. Just keeps going back. I keep looking at pictures of myself. Some time ago. Holding it up. Looking. Yeah, there it is. Going back. Little dips and stuff are showing up. That I never saw before when I was combing it. Hair line. Receding. Not growing hair up here anymore. Yet. I'm still growing hair. Don't understand that. Why is it that I can't grow hair up here? I'm growing hair in places where I don't need hair. I was shaving. Looking in the mirror. And on this part. Of my ear. I swear to you. On this part of my ear. There was a hair. About two inches long. Sticking straight out. Just as proud. And I looked at it. I said, are you lost? What is the reason for this? You know? I've not bumped into any walls or anything. There's no need for tentacles. You know what I mean? Hair in my nose. Forget it. This stuff grows. I mean, if I don't cut this. Every three hours. I can get a foot. I mean, I could get stuff hanging down here. But I can't get anything up here. I cut the hairs around three o'clock. Went on. Did the business. Showered. Shaved. Went to dinner. Came back. And I take off my clothes. I go in the bedroom. And there's a gray one. Hanging straight up. I said, how long have you been there? Is it all through dinner? For dinner? My eyes. My eyes. My eyes. My eyes. I'm not going blind. Just that I can't see like I used to. Anybody here have tri-vocals? Anybody with tri-vocals? Tri-vocals. I guess it's new or something. Put in some tri-vocals. My eye doctor. You need tri-vocals. I said, what for? I said, well, you can, we'll fix these so you can see way far away. I said, then in the middle, you'll pick up things about 50 feet away. I said, then down here, you can read your medicine. So I'm sitting in the chair. He gives me the exam. He said, okay, that's fine. Now read the, read for 50 feet away and I'm going X-T-Y-O-H-P-4. Okay, now read. John said, take it. Okay. Grind them up. I come back two days later. Put the glasses on. Now read. We do the whole thing. Fine. Okay. Tri-vocals. I can see any distance you want. You name it, I'll see it. You know. I get up to leave. And the door was way down there. I said, man, I don't remember the door being all the way down there. So I started walking, you know, just getting ready for a long walk. Long walk. That's all. And then I passed it. I looked back around and the knob was right here. I said, oh, there you are. I opened the door. I go out to get the elevator. Elevators are way... I said, man, when did they change this building? So I put my finger ou
