Watch or listen to the stand-up comedy special 'My Name is Mo'Nique' (2023) by Mo'Nique on Comedy Buff. Transcript available. Tracks include: valet parking costs you #MoNique.

Mo'Nique

My Name is Mo'Nique

Now, when I get in my motherfucking car, I take my blunt out. Now, let me tell y'all something so that I'm clear. Because if y'all want to know, do I puff? Yes. It is from God. It has been a day by Jesus. Right? And I got the best shit. I don't fuck around with corner boy shit. I fuck around with the medicinal shit. I was fucking around with the medicinal shit before it was fucking legal to have for real, for real.
So I had the good shit, right? When you go to the marijuana doctor, he said, Monique, what's wrong? I said, everything. Give me your best shit. Everything is bothering me. Oh, and the shit he gave me was incredible. Right? So I take a little puff off of it and I put it out and I put it in my secret compartment because I know I'm going to valet at the goddamn Beverly Center. Now, I had to learn my lesson about valeting at the motherfucking Beverly Center because when you leave your blunt in the ashtray, them motherfuckers will smoke your shit and when they bring you back to your car, they'll look at you like, I'm fucked.
Ah!