Watch or listen to the stand-up comedy special 'Mom Genes' (2022) by Christina P on Comedy Buff. Transcript available. Tracks include: Breaking the Cycle of Generational Trauma | Christina P: Mom Genes.

Christina P

Mom Genes

I am breaking the cycle of generational trauma and it's a lot of work okay so here's what I've done so far so it's like a decade in therapy and then every day okay I wake up I practice my gratitude and then I drink my coffee I take a I exercise because the endorphins from exercise help fight depression and then I adhere to a low carbohydrate high protein diet I meditate twice a day I feel all my dumb feelings and I am still so fucked up like I'm I'm so fucking crazy but but I'm trying and I'm in the game and I'm gonna do it man I'm gonna do it yeah yeah cause my childhood was wacky like we'll put it this way like growing up I couldn't I couldn't understand like I couldn't understand those people who lived at home in their twenties you know like dude I wanted out at six bro I was like where's my letter to hogwarts get me the fuck out of this you know I would have rather lived with those bitches from the facts of life and get scissored by that lesbo joe remember joe you guys know joe was a lesbo right yeah cause she had a ponytail and she was a mechanic and she was a mechanic a pussy mechanic am I ready Thank you.
And I work on my perfectionism, that's a huge problem with me, you know, because I compare myself to those perfect moms. Oh, you know those bitches? Those perfect moms? Oh, they got four kids and somehow they're a size zero. What does she say? Oh, I do intermittent fasting. Like, yeah, so does half the world. It's called starvation, bitch. The worst is when she's like, my husband is my best friend.
Gross. These are the same people that mouth kiss their moms and dads. I know it. No, your husband is not your best friend. Your best friend is the person you talk shit about your husband to. No, your husband is my best friend. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. so anyway i fell down the stairs getting to my baby in a hurry and that's how i broke my ankle and see that's a mother's love that's a mother's love and nobody tells you this but being a mom it's an emotional roller coaster like i go from joy to rage to exhaustion to exhilaration every six seconds every day and just when i'm ready to throw that baby in the river he smiles at me yeah yeah they smile at you with those little jack-o-lantern teeth and you're filled with so much joy you have crazy thoughts you're like i want ten more come on tommy we're fucking tonight so So when I became a mother, I didn't know what to do.
Nobody has a blueprint for that. Yeah, so I did what everybody should do, and I looked to social media. Oh, my God, everybody lies on social media, but moms, those bitches lie the most. Right? What do the moms always say? Being a mom, it's the best job in the world. And look, I love my children more than life, but the job of being a mom is not the best. In fact, I would argue having no job is the best job.
I love my children more than life.