Watch or listen to the stand-up comedy special 'Brody Stevens: Live From The Main Room' (2018) by Brody Stevens on Comedy Buff. Transcript available. Tracks include: Where Are You From?, Good Guy, and From the Valley.

Brody Stevens

Brody Stevens: Live From The Main Room

Where are you from? St. Louis, the arch. Yes, Cardinals, respected baseball team. He says St. Louis, but he really means Ferguson. Get him! That's what they say now. That's a Ferguson type. Oh, I know. I know fake news and real news. Hey, I call it like I see it. I listen to talk radio. You're a podcaster. You're not hearing the commercials. Commercials matter. I want to find about lawyers. I want to find about money borrowing.
I want to find about addiction or gambling issues. You don't get that on podcasts. You get that. Another guy walking out. What, what, because I'm not D'Elia? I'm not Bill Burr? Complete disrespect. Bastards. Didn't give me a chance. Is that how it is now? Is that how the new people are? You don't give me a chance? Shame on you. You're negative. I'm just having a good time. By the way, you are a great audience.
This has been three years in the making. This is my Titanic. This is my avatar. This is my Encino Man starring Pauly Shore. Oh, you didn't laugh at that. They applauded. You didn't laugh. Something tells me that's on you. You're a good guy. You're wearing a polo sleeve shirt. You got a good head. I like it. Good arms. Where'd you grow up? Upstate New York. Glens Falls. Lake Placid. Possibly Montreal.
Or Lake Saranac. Where? Binghamton. They had a double-A baseball team. New York Mets. Am I correct? Yeah, thank you. I was. Please say it louder. And then there's a bar there that's based on a PGA golf tournament. Isn't there a big PGA golf tournament at one time that was in Binghamton? Still is, right? Dick's Sporting Goods Open. There you go. And Dick's Sporting Goods is open. What are you, sports authority types?
He's from Binghamton and I just Wikipedia'd it. All right, these guys. Okay. Guys, keep it going for Joe Jonas. Let him hear it. Yes. Loved you on the Nickelodeon. You're doing great. This guy's cool. What are you, the roadie for Lincoln Park? Yes. We laugh at everything I say. This is my life. I drove a Pinto. My parents were divorced because of me. Okay. When I was in your age, I didn't get to go to comedy shows.
I stayed home and watched the weather. Okay. You lived the weather. I had to watch it. You got to go out and rain. I'm afraid of rain. I'm sleeping in the parking lot tonight. Nothing. Okay. You want regular jokes. Well, I make money. I make money. You know, I drive a 1996 Toyota Avalon. Leather exterior. Cruise control in reverse. Guys, I'm late to the game. I finally got HD. Finally got HD. Thank you.
Heart disease. So, uh, I start taking medication on Monday. Uh, Zocor, 40 milligrams. Where were you born? Right here in Los Angeles. Right here in L.A. So was I, Panorama City. My mother loved the arts and crafts. After giving birth to me, she had her tubes tied into a balloon animal. - Yeah. Give it up for the waitstaff, the ladies of the comedy store working very hard. They make this place run.
House of Blues couldn't take it. They shut down. But Saddle Ranch, take off your bandana and go home. We're turning this place into a parking lot. The comedy store is taking over. And if Mel's doesn't start seating me sooner, they'll get shut down too. I'll shut places down. Oh, not with a protest, with positivity. We are positive. We support comedy. There's no social media. There's no outside interaction.
We're together as a group as you yawn on a speech. How dare you yawn and try to make me yawn. I'm not going to yawn. But you're okay. Where are you from? The yawner is. I'm sweating. Two more people walking out. Everyone's moving around. The only people who should be moving are the camera guys that are holding thousand dollar camera equipment from Best Buy. Leave 'em alone. I'm professional. I've been in this business now for six weeks.
Okay? I do well. Oh, now I've lost you. Now I've lost you. Yes! Yes! Somebody reached out and helped me. I had a flat tire on the 405. I didn't update my AAA insurance. This guy saw me and he threw me a buoy and I latched onto it and now we're hanging out at Lake Castaic and I'm riding it. 'Cause he reached out. Other people don't reach out and you sit back. Where are you from? San Diego? What? San Francisco.
Of course he doesn't get it. Sitting right up there staring at me. The only thing I have in common with San Francisco are Levi's. You got it. 5/14s. Come at me. Come at me. I work out. I'm a good guy. I donate to the YMCA. I donated blood, blankets, and sperm on my blanket. I'm a good guy. Take care of my mother. I got my mom. My mom's 85. Thank you. Thank you for that. She's 85. She lives in Palm Springs.
She's an Uber driver. She'll take you to Chico's, to Costco, to Petco. What the hell is going on here? You got a guy who grew up in the Valley, who's getting a chance to do a professional comedy act for cameras, and you're shutting it down 'cause it's too late on Friday. You're gonna do that to me? I can't help that I'm very hairy as a child. I can't help that I'm hairy and I went for a swim out in Marina Del Rey and I clogged the drain.
I can't help if I had a lot of alone time in a townhouse in the West Valley and I did stuff. To insects, you want to go there? 'Cause I'll do that. If I have to get dark and aggressive on a special and frighten producers, I'll do it. I'll do it. What's wrong with Brody? Well, maybe? Yeah, thank you. Thank you. There they go. There they go. There they go. Thanks for walking out. Where are you going?
Look at this. I knew he couldn't take it. I knew he couldn't take it. Who did you vote for, Pence? Get him out of here. You don't walk out on a good guy. My dad went to North Hollywood High School. Go back to Tennessee Country Club. Bastard. I do neighborhood watch in neighborhoods I don't even live in. I'm a good person. - Go, hey, go, hey! - Los Angeles, California! You ready to ride? - Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen, one of the finest guys in the world today, Steven Brody-Stevenson!
Get it! Get it! Get it! Woo! Everybody! Woo! Yes! Saturday night tomorrow, Friday night right now. Here at the Comedy Store, we are taping a special. You are part of history, from the guys in the valley. You came out in the rain, this is the place to be. I'm not, where the hell are you going? This dude, he's cool, he's got an umpire's cap on, yeah. It's a crew neck, and he's shopped at Urban Outfitters.
I try to go there, why are you staring at me? Because I'm not Crystalia? Don't you dare, step to me, I'm from the valley! 818 till I die! Duh! Where are you from? Aryan. Caucasian. Christian. Arizona, Utah. That's what I pick up. Don't stare at me, you're not in Sweden. This is America! Give it up for the United States! Yes! All night. We are going to challenge it. I need you. Come on in. Yeah, let's play some hacky sack.
Where the hell do they go? This is my night! I remember when I was a kid, 12 years old at Chuck E. Cheese's, I said this would happen! Push! Push! Push! Push! Push! I bought this music! I own it! Try to sue me, you won't win! He's back! Yes! They're writing, you don't walk out on me! Where the hell are you going? To Venice Beach! To Redondo Beach! I'm from the valley! They gave me no chance! I walked out with this girlfriend holding hands, PDA in my face.
It didn't feel good. It hurt my feelings. That's how the young people are. I have Lee press on eyebrows. My beard is perfect. I went to super cuts where walkouts are welcome. You're a good guy. Where'd you go to high school? Santa Monica High School. You don't boo Santa Monica High School. We're not booing. If I hear a boo, I'm going to call you out. I'm here. Let me see your eye. Are you high? What do you do?
You're an athlete. You're big. Okay. Can I ask what you do? He's an animator. Yes, that's right. That's a good gig. A lot of people say I look like Squidward. So I can see the connection. He's probably going to sketch me up. Squidward meets Bull from Night Court meets Freddy Krueger. Stop laughing like that. Stop laughing at that. It's not meant to be a laugh. You play baseball? Used to. Used to. All right.
You're a good guy. Where are you from? Huntington Beach. HB. What do you think about Huntington Beach? Are you guys together? No. Oh, wow. Just shut it down. These beach communities don't like each other. You don't hear that in the Valley. The Valley's cool. But we've got Manhattan Beach, hating on Hermosa Beach. We've got Huntington Beach, hating on Redondo Beach. Who's from Redondo Beach? We hate you.
You're a good guy. I liked your energy the whole time. You're a good guy. I liked your energy the whole time. And Adam Egott, turn this club around. He deserves a round of applause. To celebrate, let's rock this thing out. Oliver, I brought some percussions. My father, his uncle, loved drumming. When he was cremated at Sam Ash. True story. Give me some energy. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on.
Okay. Hey, Brody. What do you need an assistant for, just out of curiosity? What do I need an assistant for? Because I have emails I need to return. All right, guys, give me some energy. Let's get this thing going. Come on, come on. Give me some energy. Give me a second here. Give me a second. We'll wrap this up soon. Yeah! Yeah! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! You got it! You got it! You got it! You got it!
danny let's uh yes let's rock this thing out a little bit we're almost there i love you guys dana let's rock out a couple songs what a great crowd come on so everybody got no show yes we are doing it having fun and making a special so so i told you they're not going to make this leave we're going all night i told you they're not going to make this leave we're going all night oh you gotta get up in the morning all right oh We got security here, guys.
We got security. Are you with me? Are you with them? Them. Okay, great. My sister kicked my ass. She punched me. She kicked me. She spit on me. She beat me with keys. And you're saying, Brody, what beatings hurt the most? The beatings with the keys. Yes. Why? I'll tell you why. Because my sister was a janitor. She had a lot of keys. Had a great week. It's been tough for me. It's been hard. I mean, I fought through this show.
I, you know, just recently I found out that my grandfather has Down syndrome. They're going to let him keep his job. He works at Forever 21. Tell me why you didn't laugh. This guy right there. I've done that joke for 15 years. I'm almost done tonight. And you couldn't give me anything. You couldn't give me anything. You couldn't give me anything. Why don't we rock and roll? Let's do it. Let's go. Come on.
Danny, let's rock this thing out. Guys, you're awesome. Here we go. Wait a second. We'll edit it out. Here we go. And we'll finish strong on this. We'll finish strong. Yeah, you six ready? Yeah, where are my colored ones? I mean, where are my black? I mean, where are my... Oh, give me a break! Oh, you're calling me racist? Don't you dare call me racist! When was the last time you were in a car with a black guy?
I was two weeks ago. Thank you. It was part of the sheriff's ride-along program. Just being honest. You guys, I'm going to yelp you. You're going to get... You guys are going to get like four and a half stars. You didn't leave. You're here. Those other... Those other people didn't give me a chance. You gave me a chance. You gave me a chance. You gave me a chance. You gave me a chance. You... Even you not laughing at the last joke.
You gave me that chance not for you to laugh. Danny, let's rock this thing and finish strong. Thank you. Good night, everybody. Kevin, come on. Yes! Let's push! Kevin, come on! Yes! Let's push! Kevin, come on! Yes! Yes! Yes! We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Arms crossed, negative, but I like you. You're visiting, they're visiting from overseas. You're taking them in through an exchange program.
By the way, I like your glasses, and I like your glasses. Look at her glasses, look at her glasses. Those are beautiful glasses. And you have glasses. No glasses, n