CHRIS: So my guest today is you know him as Louis Alfred Székely. But I know him as Louis CK. LOUIS: You said. That my last name right there it is, baby. Yeah, I know. Polish, hungarian. CHRIS: Good country. Hungary. Yeah. LOUIS: You've been there? CHRIS: No, but I like Eastern Europe. A lot of people shit on Eastern Europe. I like Eastern Europe. LOUIS: So just Eastern Europe in general, not Hungary specifically? CHRIS: Well, Hungary, I don't have an issue with Hungary. I think that they like Austria Hungary. They always get looped in with Nazis and stuff. But I feel like Hungary is just like innocent bystander. LOUIS: No, not really. CHRIS: You think they're bad? LOUIS: Well, I mean, they weren't innocent bystanders. They shipped all their Jews to camps and they didn't get occupied. They're like the only country that didn't get occupied, Hungary, was yeah, because the Nazis would show up and give us your Jews or we'll take over. And the Hungary is like, no, yeah, take them. LOUIS: I was in Auschwitz. I mean, I wasn't there to do a show I did in crack out, but Auschwitz. A million people died there. LOUIS: Jews were killed there. I mean, some by accident, but mostly they killed them. 600,000 were from Budapest, from Hungary. CHRIS: Wow. LOUIS: Yeah. So mostly Hungarians because the Hungarian government was like, dude, totally take them all. CHRIS: Yeah, we hate them more. Interesting. Yeah. See? All. CHRIS: There you go. So already off to the start. Just one stupid fact. CHRIS: Didn't know, but you like World War II. You're a World War II history guy. LOUIS: I mean, I like to read about it. I didn't like it. CHRIS: Well, I went a part of it. LOUIS: What's that? CHRIS: Well, I just feel like in World War Two, I just feel I understand Germany was bad. Can't sure denounce that. But why doesn't Japan get more shit? LOUIS: They were they were definitely assholes. CHRIS: They were they were they were bad. Why would you just I don't think they care about this. Asian on Asian hate. That's the problem. LOUIS: Yeah, because they were after the Chinese. They were killing the Chinese people. CHRIS: They were raping babies and bayonetting them and everything. LOUIS: I mean, I don't know those specific things, but they do a lot of bad stuff. Yeah. CHRIS: Yeah. It's if listen, if we say it here on this podcast, it's a fact. In this world, they were they were raping and bayonetting baby. LOUIS: I don't doubt that. One Japanese soldier raped and bayoneted a baby. It might have been 17. CHRIS: To rape a baby. It's psychotic. Even Hitler wouldn't do that. LOUIS: Yeah, I think Hitler was I don't know if he was left alone in a room with a baby. CHRIS: Right. What, do you rape them? LOUIS: It's hard to say. You know, like, if you if they think if you leave a bunch of, like, a thousand monkeys alone with a thousand typewriters, they'll write a great novel. That's an old thing. CHRIS: Is that a real thing? LOUIS: It's not real, but it's a thing people say. So if you left thousand Hitlers alone with a thousand babies, one would rape one? At least one. Yeah. CHRIS: Let's ask the fans. Dude, what I like about you is you're one of these guys obviously everybody knows you're comedy, you know, but but it's one of those things where, you know, you you can, like, put together take apart put together motorcycle engines. You can put together and take apart yeah. You can put together and take apart computers. LOUIS: Yeah. CHRIS: You are like one of these, like, guys that you just put together take things apart, put them together. And you have this brain. And I think we want to know, do you think you're autistic? LOUIS: Do you think I'm autistic? CHRIS: Do you think you're autistic? LOUIS: I don't figure I am, but somebody once told me I was because I had a toy train on my desk. CHRIS: Interesting. LOUIS: And they said, that means you're autistic if you're into trains. I do love trains. I love train stations that go if I'm in Europe. All trains. LOUIS: Yeah, get them all on the train, on the cattle cars. My favorite kind. The reason why they get Jews out of your right out of here. LOUIS: No, I used to be auto mechanic and not get kind of and I used to take apart computers and fix them kind of well, it's just I lie a lot too. The third thing I do is I lie a lot. So that has to dilute the first two for you. CHRIS: Right, but listen, I feel like that's all we do here. We lie. LOUIS: I did work in a garage as a mechanic. Yeah. CHRIS: By the way, this is Rosie Lou's. LOUIS: Dog who's not going to rape no, she likes it. She lets me. Right. Baby. CHRIS: George Santos. What a fucking idiot. This guy is talking about liars. LOUIS: You know, he looks kind of like that character Pat from SNL. Do you remember? CHRIS: Yes. LOUIS: He looks a little like you're not sure what he's doing. And I don't meantrogynous but like weirdly. I don't know what's up with Pat now with all this stuff going on. CHRIS: Oh, yeah. LOUIS: What is pat now? Well, yeah, Pat of they is is Pat of a them I would think. CHRIS: Pat's had a protest somewhere. Pat pat is pat is was this character if you don't know an SNL who was like, yeah, you don't know if it's a man or it's a woman. And that was the bit. LOUIS: Try to ask probing questions to see if maybe yeah, it was a great. CHRIS: Bit, but you couldn't so I think. LOUIS: George Santos is the same and he is as material about his past as Pat is. CHRIS: But he's still in power. LOUIS: He still got his they used to ask Pat like, do you play any sports? And Pat would be like, soccer. And then you'd be like, I still don't know. So that's what he's like. So, like, were you a lawyer? He's like, I know the law or something. LOUIS: Like he says something. CHRIS: He's weird stupid like that. LOUIS: But I don't know anything much about him. Yeah, I don't think lying is wrong. So I'm not against him. CHRIS: Well, I just think honestly, I don't think we both have kids. I have two daughters. You have two daughters, right? Yeah. LOUIS: But yours are yours. CHRIS: Mine are seven and one. LOUIS: But it's quite a spread there. It's 710 split there. CHRIS: Well, you know, what happened was I was fucked. LOUIS: Your wife by mistake. CHRIS: Yes. LOUIS: And so what happened with somebody else? CHRIS: I had a baby with Jasmine, my girlfriend. She's been on the show once and we had a baby. First date, second date, had sex. She got pregnant. CHRIS: I barely even knew her. It was like this crazy thing. My parents were like, what the fuck? LOUIS: Do you know her better now? CHRIS: A little bit. Just a little bit. And so we had this baby, our older daughter. And then when our older daughter was like three, we broke up we were like, this is stupid. CHRIS: This is ridiculous. Like, clearly we shouldn't be together. We just are only together for the baby. CHRIS: And then we broke up for, like, three years. She had a fuller boyfriend. LOUIS: Did you have the kid around with you and stuff after you broke up? What was your relationship with the kids? CHRIS: With my daughter? LOUIS: Yeah. CHRIS: Always there. My kids are, like my whole life. So when I moved out, I only moved within walking distance. Like, I grew up with my parents being divorced, but my dad never missing anything in my life, so that's how I was and with my kids. CHRIS: But then the pandemic happened. We all got into lockdown, and then ours she died. LOUIS: Yeah, almost. CHRIS: I wish I'd have a sitcom. And then my daughter got sick with COVID Like, in the beginning, like the beginning of it all, people didn't know what the hell was going on. And then so our doctor was like, listen, I know you two are co parents, but you have to live together because you can't be going you can't. LOUIS: Be infecting each other. CHRIS: We don't know. He's like, we don't know. Like, safety of your daughter. LOUIS: Cohort. CHRIS: Exactly. So it's a cohort. So our daughter started to feel better. And then, like, a week into it, a week after I was living there, daughter started to feel better. CHRIS: We got drunk, celebrated, had sex. Now it's my new daughter. LOUIS: That's when the new one came. CHRIS: That's when the new one came. And now we're together. Now we're just making it work together. LOUIS: Now you tell everybody all your personal shit and sex you have. CHRIS: Yeah, but I've gotten in trouble. The reason why is because I've said everything that me and Jazz have almost had. All the fights we can possibly have. Everything that I've said publicly that I absolutely shouldn't have, I've already said it. CHRIS: I've already laughed about it. Homeless pimps already made clips, zooming in and out of my face laughing about it, and we've already been thrown out of the house. It's all gone. CHRIS: So now it's kind of like a nice part of our relationship where there's nothing she can be mad at me about anymore. She knows everything. LOUIS: I can tell you love her. CHRIS: I do. And I would tell you three years ago, I would try to tell you. I didn't. We're just in it for the kids and all that. CHRIS: But now I'm like, no. Even if we didn't have kids, I'd still want to be with her. LOUIS: Yeah, that's nice. CHRIS: She's good. And she used to we got through, like, a really tough where she was. I mean, I would go on Op and Anthony and be like, she just got just say stupid shit. My mom would hear it, and I would fucking, like, crying and just her yelling at me. CHRIS: Called me the biggest piece of shit ever. But we just kept coming back to each other. And now I'm like, she just knows. CHRIS: Now I know what is too personal to say. And I kind of can thread. I mean, sometimes I fucked up, but it's an easy fight. CHRIS: It's just a five minute fight and that's it. LOUIS: No, I used to go and open Anthony and talk about my wife. CHRIS: And you would get in trouble, right? LOUIS: Well, divorced is what happened. CHRIS: That's what happened. Well, I'm not married. LOUIS: Yeah, that's what happened. No, I regret it. I regret all of it. CHRIS: Yeah. LOUIS: I would take it back. CHRIS: I was on once with Jim Norton, who was obviously always there. And I forgot. What? I said something. And it got, like, laughs in the studio. CHRIS: And he was like which he never does this, Jim. He's always, like, leaving the show and going to the next thing. He was like, oh, you want to get like a coffee or something at the predominant across street. LOUIS: I was short. CHRIS: And then he just was like, hey. He was like, you forget sometimes. I'm still like a lot of people are listening to the show. I know that we're having fun in there. LOUIS: No, that was five guys he was. CHRIS: Like at that time. There's millions of people here in this. He was like, it's going to get back to her and it's not going to be good. LOUIS: No, it was bad. I mean, I used to talk about my wife on stage and my kids. And I thought that was I had more of a balanced sense of how to do that. But in opening Anthony, I just opened my stupid fucking mouth and I regret it because she's not a bad person. LOUIS: I like her even now. Divorced a long time. She's a good person. LOUIS: Yeah, but I was just all fucked up and looking for jokes. CHRIS: Yeah. LOUIS: See, you take a comedian who's like a little pissed off and looking for laughs. CHRIS: Yeah. LOUIS: Say a lot of fucked up things. CHRIS: That's what I did. And I had like and I was like, oh, this is the way I need to fit in. They're having me on the show. LOUIS: Yeah. Right. CHRIS: I got to say the most outrageous things. And it was stupid. And now with this world with TikTok like, my daughter and my seven year old daughter's friends have phones and they have TikTok. So they'll see a TikTok of me. LOUIS: We had a TikTok that shit about that. CHRIS: I was making fun of the Mexicans and it was bad. And they were like, hey, your dad. LOUIS: Well, the Mexican. I mean, I do think that's one reason that's one reason why comedians hack on other people, like on celebrities, is because they want to tal
